I am looking for a site to talk to someone about what is happening. I feel horrible about what is going on, but I just can't turn away. I am having relations with my daughter and need to discuss it with someone who has been there or can offer some advice. I have had strong desires for young girls for years and previously was able to satisfy these on the internet. As my daughter started to grow, I found myself starting games and such and everything progressed. I cannot stop the feelings and now that I have crossed the line find it easier to do each time. I am not sure what I want, help, advice, or just someone to talk to.
You definitely need to stop what you're doing. It's illegal. You probably need to seek professional help immediately...a therapist.
~*~Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.~*~
Umm, its very very wrong! First off how old is she? Also, have u had sex with her? I mean if they're just feelings then I suggest that u deal with them, I strongly recommend counseling. However if you've had sex with her already and not just once, the two of u should handle this with the help of counseling, I really think that this is wrong. How does your daughter feel about this? It sounds to me that this is all about your feelings, seriously find someone else! End it now , and end it fast! If you like younger girls then by all means find someone over the age of 18, that isn't related to u that will like u back...don't go raping anybody. Which brings about my next question, if u have had sex with your daughter is this sex forced? And I will say this one last time, STOP WHAT U R DOING! IT IS VERY WRONG FOR BOTH U AND YOUR DAUGHTER OR ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED! daughter+sexual/nonparental loving feelings = Bad!!
I'm not saying that u r a bad person, just what your doing. Just try to find professional help and try not to think of your daughter that way. We can't help who we have feelings for, but there r times when we have to wake up and realize what we're doing. The longer this goes on the more damage it will cause.
Panyu, you know you shouldn't be doing this, for a number of important reasons. It seems that the problem for you is how to regain control of yourself. I have a couple of suggestions and maybe some other people have others.
1. You can change the circumstances so you are less tempted or have less opportunity. That's a perfectly valid form of control. The most extreme form - which could nevertheless be necessary - is living apart from your daughter. If you don't take steps yourself, that is the method that will be forced on you, by your daughter being taken into the care of the state and yourself to prison. A less extreme form may be to make sure that you never enter your daughter's room, if you have enough willpower.
BTW, who else lives in the house? Do they know? If your daughter's mother knows, she might help you not be tempted, one way or another.
2. You can try to increase your willpower. People have suggested therapy, though you will be aware that if you tell a therapist the full situation, your therapist will be obliged to inform the police. If this is necessary to protect your daughter, it may be something that has to be done. You could treat it as a sex addiction - there are a number of programmes designed to help sex addicts.
There are some harsh suggestions here, but this is something where you do need to take strong action.
I still would like to know a few things. How old is your daughter? how long has this been going on? do u live alone with her? I know I suggested counciling but since this could land u in jail, u should try other alternateives such as: staying away from ur daughter, Act like a parent, getting a girlfriend, and if all else fails u could try counciling. It could result in jail time, not saying what u did is ok, but ur better off ending this. There's is no way that u can continue this type of "relationship". These lustful feelings r wrong and make u a pedophile. Which brings me 2 one more question, do u threaten ur daughter with vioence or other things to prevent her from telling people? Is she underage? If u really want better help u need to answer these questions. I feel that a lot of information was left out.
In reply to:
Umm, its very very wrong!
Bykey he obviously knows that, and it's why he's come here for help. Although most of your post was helpful I don't think it's necessary to use that approach.
please seek therapy. you must realize the severe psychological damage this is doing to your daughter
Hi this is my first post. And this thread got my attention fast... Yes, please seek therapy, or at least someone in real life to talk to (make sure that this person is one you can trust...). Although this is considered illegal in almost everywhere, if we take the time to look at situations like this from a philosophical viewpoint, these are Panyu's true feelings. To most of us (including myself), it is wrong (very), but what's sad is, he is not feeling this way on purpose, it's just the way he is. There's no difference between his feelings for younger partners than that of being gay or straight. It's the way he is.
I don't really see how talking to psychologist or therapist or counselor will change how he is. If you were gay, would a psychiatrist be able to change that?
Yes this situation is wrong, but it's just a shame. There's no real solution, at least not that I know of, and to be quite honest, it's a little confusing to me. From reading Panyu's post, he sounds like a nice person, who cares enough for his daughter to seek out help. The problem is, how can someone's true feelings be wrong?
their true feelings are wrong when they hurt another person. gay people do not hurt others. consensual adults into SMBD do not hurt others. an adult with a child hurts the child. a father with his daughter.... if you can't see what's wrong with THAT....
It seems to me that Leon can see what's wrong with that, 123maggie. He is pointing to some apparent puzzles:
1. How can someone be blamed for the way they feel, if they have no control over it?
2. Aren't natural feelings supposed to be good?
The answer to both, I think, is to distiguish between feelings and actions. "True" feelings do not always lead to good actions. Some natural feelings, like jealousy and anger, nearly always lead to bad actions. We can't help those feelings, and therefore we shouldn't be blamed for them, but we can, and must, try to avoid acting on them. If we do something bad out of jealousy or anger, that does not absolve us from blame. We are not absolved from blame for doing bad actions (such as rape) out of sexual feelings - of any sort-, either.
Now that you put it that way! I see! Right, like if I was angry, that doesn't give me the right to kill a million people... Ok thanks a lot I was really contemplating this cuz I felt a tad bit sorry for Panyu and other people with feelings that the world shuns away.
when i was a kid i was a victim of incest.you are ruining your childs life.seek help,for you,and for her.
more for her,she's a child.