im so messed up right nowtoday i woke up with the biggest feeling of worthlessness in the worldlast night i made out with a girl. she was ugly, and i wasnt even drunk. why did i? i dont honestly know. i dont know why i did when i like someone else so much more who is going to find out by monday. no we're not going out but i probably had a shot..i hate myself so much. i dont have high or low standards, i dont even have standards. i got bullied all my life and ignored by the fairer sex for most of it, and now its like im overcompensating. ive only made out with a few hot girls, and only one of those was truly legitimate...i have a hard time saying no. if someone wants to kiss me, i just let them. i dont like myself and i fucking hate the world because people used to give me so much shit, beating me up and all this crap. how can i just forget about it? i cant, and im still that guy...i hate it..please help
-
Fuck, what is wrong with me
-
Don't underestimate the power of people to forgive our mistakes. Thank goodness, or everyone would be in deep trouble. Making mistakes is the major way we learn, and it doesn't mean you're worthless, it just means you're human.
Yes, you're still that guy. He was a worthwhile guy then, and he's a worthwhile guy now.
-
Quote:i got bullied all my life and ignored by the fairer sex for most of it, and now its like im overcompensating. geez,sounds like me.most people used to treat me like shit. saying i was fat and ugly and all that. lying about me to get others to hate me. been there done that. i just said "fuck them" got a boyfriend,made some friends from work,forgot about the majority of those bitches back in school,and focused on working and all that. Quote:i dont like myself and i fucking hate the world because people used to give me so much shit, beating me up and all this crap. how can i just forget about it? i cant, and im still that guy...i hate it.. i know where your coming from there as well. if someone is different in any way (or quiet like i used to be) that person is the perfect target to get picked on and treated like shit. ive lost sooo many friends,got dumped by my ex (who hoped i would kill myself by the way). and because of him wanting me too, i tried..numerous times. those people REALLY fucked up my life, my confidence,and my current relationship im in now, because i keep thinking that he is going to leave me like what happened to me before. its really hard to move past people being so hateful. i still feel like going back to school and beating the shit out of them. but im not. because im not going to lower my standards and be like them.so all in all, try not to end up how i used to be. i took their insults REALLY personally, and now im very self conscience and depressed and all that. im afraid to get close to someone because i almost bet my life that they are going to turn against me. its harsh i know.
-
you know what else is racking my brains though? the girl i made out with said it was 'just a bit of fun' so no reason to feel guilty, but its like, i wish i hadnt kissed her. shes ugly and all my friends saw. i feel embarassed about it, which in turn makes me feel like a bad person for being so shallow...i just wish i had more self control and i wasnt always the one who made a fool out of himself...sorry to hear about your stuff btw, its always good to have someone to relate with tho =[
-
i wish i hadnt kissed her. shes ugly and all my friends saw. I dunno, man, I'm having a lot of trouble feeling much compassion for you. That does sound pretty shallow.It sounds like you're looking for self-esteem and validation n the wrong places. If your friends have a problem with it they're immature.
-
well, i mean, look at my pic. be honest- dont feel any kind of guilt in telling me what you think of my looks. if you think im ugly, say so, and i wont be offended, but i dunno, am i? i always get mixed responses to this question, so i dont even know what standards i should have. they say you can be ugly and get hot girls, but i dunno- the good looking guys i know get hot girls, the ugly guys get ugly girls, thats just how it is. its really confusing.
and how do i find validation then? no matter how much praise i get im not satisfied with myself.
-
You can't look to others to find validation. That will come from within yourself. 100 people could tell you that you are hot, but if you don't feel like you are, then you won't be satisfied. You have to feel good about yourself to make others feel good about you.
-
where do you draw the line though? like how do i avoid being arrogant or over confident?
-
Well, if you are putting people off with your self-confidence, then that's arrogance. If you are confident with yourself, you won't have to prove to others that you are "the shit." They will notice it by the way you carry yourself, talk, interact with people, etc.
-
I think you look fine -- honestly. I also think you are very hung up on looks. Turn off you TV. Stop watching Paris Hilton and all those other, shallow, moronic dopes.
-
**you could be the most hot guy in the world, but be over confident/arrogant or not confident enough then it doens't matter.........be you, thats it, people will be with you for your personality, not your looks (unless they are shallow) people will date you cos of who you are, not (hopefully) the way you look........
i have to say i agree with steve in finding it hard to find compassion for someone who judges peoples worth by how they look, so what if the girl you kissed wasn't conventionally attractive, she might be a fantastic person.**
-
Originally Posted By: Africayou know what else is racking my brains though? the girl i made out with said it was 'just a bit of fun' so no reason to feel guilty, but its like, i wish i hadnt kissed her. shes ugly and all my friends saw. i feel embarassed about it, which in turn makes me feel like a bad person for being so shallow...i just wish i had more self control and i wasnt always the one who made a fool out of himself...The first thing I want to say is that you know what you are doing is shallow and it makes you feel bad. You already know labeling people either "hot" or "ugly" isn't right. And I think you admitting that shows that's a part of yourself you want to change (I hope, this is just my personal view). So, I commend you on pointing that out yourself and you feeling bad about it afterwards makes you more human.You said that your friends saw this and you're embarassed about it. Why? Why do care so much about what your friends think? If these people are your friends, then why do you try to find validation from them? If they are truly your friends, they wouldn't care who you are with. If they make fun of you for making out with an "ugly" girl, then they're not your friends and so their opinions shouldn't matter in the first place.Originally Posted By: Africaif you think im ugly, say so, and i wont be offended, but i dunno, am i? i always get mixed responses to this question, so i dont even know what standards i should have. they say you can be ugly and get hot girls, but i dunno- the good looking guys i know get hot girls, the ugly guys get ugly girls, thats just how it is. its really confusing.Let me ask you something. Why do looks matter to you so much (and by that I mean the physical look of a girl)? Is it because you're afraid of being seen with someone less attractive and being judged because of it? The problem I see with that is everyone has a different opinion on what they personally think is attractive. What you think is hot might be something off-putting to other people and vice-versa. That is why you shouldn't say things like ugly people are with ugly people and pretty people are with pretty people. There is no such thing as a universal definition of what a hot person should look like and what an ugly person looks like.And you also shouldn't care what we think about how you look. The question is, how do you feel about yourself? If there's something you want to change, then go for it. You'll be praised for what you do, and not what you look like.
-
If you've been treated badly, there are two ways to react to it. One way is to become like your tormentors, and torment other people when you get the chance, and the other way is to go in the other direction, and become as little like your tormentors as possible. It might reqire some conscious thought, but ulitimately it's up to you.