Afraid to tell

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Hard to start off, but here it goes.Currently I'm in 9th grade (high school freshman), in 8th grade I was in a very small private school (for one year only), so I didn't know a lot of people. Back to the main topic. Anyways, I am a shy person to girls when I like them, but I will talk freely to them when we are just friends. Naturally, there is a girl who I like, who is a friend of a friend. Also, I have no confidence. So, I sit next to this girl at lunch every day, but we don't talk much at lunch because she is also very shy. When we come out of class, she will come up to me and talk just a little, but I never go up to her (I am a spineless wimp, i know). After school, we talk online a lot, and we also text message each other. Not too long ago, we went to a dance together (it was a turn-about, so she invited me), and she has been over to my house 3 times. Its clear to (most) of her friends (being a shy person, she doesn't have many) that I like her. The problem is that neither of us has said anything about it to each other. I'm not sure if she likes me as just a friend or is interested in me. What should I do, I really like her a lot.

I was just like you 6 years ago. There was a cute girl and although we were friends, always laughing and having a good time, I never got the nerve to talk to her about my feelings. When I think about it now, I know she gave me all these "I like you" signs, but back then I couldn't tell.There is nothing worse than a lost chance. Go to her, son, and make this friendship into a romantic relationship. You won't regret it unless you don't do it, and even if it doesn't turn out the way you expected it's still ok because you can remain friends.If I was in your shoes, and I like the girl and she liked me, there was no way I wouldn't go for it.Good luck.

Welcome to A2A, Brishen. I agree with shadowmage. Sometimes it's essential to push ourselves outside what we're comfortable with - in fact to become very uncomfortable. You don't have to be suave - I don't think it's even desirable. Just get some words out that you like her a lot, and does she like you?

I know she likes me as a friend. But thats as far as I can 100% sure on. It's kind of hard to tell her because: 1, I'm a wimp, and 2, im almost constantly surrounded by friends. None of my friends help me anyways. Plus, I cant really tell her online, cause it doesn't feel right.

No, it isn't right to tell her online. However it's quite all right to tell her online that you have something you want to tell her in person, so could you meet at (specify a time and place)? That helps screw your courage up, because then you have to tell her.

That would really screw up my courage. I really want to get the message across subtly. And I don't want it to be obvious.Anyways, I asked her over Friday, so ill see if that goes somewhere.

Ive been in your situation man- believe me even if you dont feel confident, the more you persevere, the better you get.Dont fall into the trap of becoming her 'best buddy'- this usually happens when you make lots of goofy jokes with a girl. You share secrets and have little inside jokes- but then oh, one day, you realize your just her little friend- not a good feeling. Im actually in a relationship with a girl i used to be in the friend zone with, but only after a very long time when i started acting more calm, confident and mature- honestly its just simpler to bypass the friendzone and be confident from the start.Shes shy? Picture it as a dance, with you taking the lead, if shes shy and withdrawn, a firm confident person will be attractive to her- so take that approach. Dont filter and analyze everything that comes out of your mouth- say what you feel like. Dont TRY to be funny, just be yourself and natural charm will follow. Dont apologize for anything you say- unless your really being out of line- but if you say something and then you think 'shit, maybe i shouldnt have said that' dont apologize, just keep talking- if she starts trailing on in conversation, dont be afraid to cut her off- i think this is called 'congruence' (someone correct me if im wrong) showing a girl that you know what you want in life, that she is NOT your first priority, that you're not a weak, insignificant man who trembles at the sight of her and laughs at all her jokes and agrees with what she says- congruence and confidence show that you're the top dog and you're right for her- take this approach, more often than not it will work- if it doesnt, it simply means you're not right for eachother. Dont worry if you dont feel you can do it- i feel pretty confident with girls but there are still times when i feel nervous- but im not too worried because i know that, i can always get more confidence. Theres nothing to it.Anyway man, good luck! Sorry about the long post-ak

Thats pretty deep, Africa. But it sounds like you know what your talking about. I agree with you all the way. A little something I'd like to share with you, Brishen... DON'T waste time. I've made that mistake before. I like this girl but because i tried so hard to be her friend and have her notice me it was too late. She wasn't into that type of relationship that i was initially aiming for because we were too close of friends. That hurts! So, the best thing you can do is what these guys have been saying all along. Go for it. Don't think. Just do it. Tell her how you really feel. The worst that could happen is whats happening if you keep quiet. Whats the difference? You're not losing anything by doing so.

She's coming over this weekend, but I'm pretty sure that I won't tell her. I'm seriously considering giving her a note next friday (spring break starts then). She will be gone the whole week. any ideas/opinions/suggestions?

Just tell her! The worse that can happen is she doesn't feel the same... then you apologise, laugh it off.. and go back to being friends!!

I would like to give her a hint and see hows she responds, but I don't have any ideas.

Hinting just seems wimpish.

Don't hint around hon, the best thing for you to do is to just take a deep breath and come out and say it! The worst thing that could happen is she doesn't have the same feelings as you and if thats the case you'll be okay after a few days. Just laugh it off and go back to being friends if that happens. Good luck sweete! ^_^

Okay, thanks everyone. I feel a lot better about what I'm going to do now. BTW, great forum, lots of info, good work!

Originally Posted By: BrishenBTW, great forum, lots of info, good work! Thanks, I made it myself...

Oh well. I just learned from a friend that she doesnt like me in the way i hoped. Should i drop this and go back to square one? or try to continue this?

just follow throught so you have no lingering doubts that will eat you up and haunt you later in life? just do it, and don't think about it! and ask her in an assertive way.