Ok, I'm a 24 year old gay guy who keeps going from obsession to obsession. I've never had a real relationship, and the only real relationship I had was when I was 18 and I was cheated on 13 times in 3 months. It kinda screwed me up.A short explaination - I've been on antidepressants since I was 18, I'm gay, I don't have many friends, I'm quite antisocial, and im very shy, and very critical of myself, mostly due to my weight - I'm 16 stone. But I am very honest and I help out my friends more than I help myself.Since then I've tried to help myself, its taken me years to figure out what's wrong with myself. Finally I've kinda got somewhere, but at the moment I am still obsessed with someone I shouldn't be.I'm scared of being cheated on/burned again and forge attractions to unattainable people so I don’t have to be in a relationship.I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m too kind to people, I’m too honest, and I fall for people I shouldn’t. And that’s why I don’t have anyone.If I'm in a relationship, I'm either obsessed or not interested at all. Its either one or the other, and I know right away.I've tried antidepressants, I've tried councilling. I don't know what to do anymore.
Scared of cheated on and attracted to unobtainable
First of all...dude...13 times in 3 months? I'm surprised you're still standing. That counts for something.You sound like you're in a similar situation to me (tho I am straight).Unfortunately I have no pearls of wisdom to offer because I haven't figured it out either - but there is a way of dodging it.It took me years to do it/accept it, but now I have and I feel so much better about myself at least.The workaround is to not concern yourself about relationships. I know it's a tired crappy old cliché but I'm sure it's true that when it's meant to happen, it will.In my experience so far it's helped me loads and like I say I feel way better about myself.The main downside that I am experiencing is that all of my friends seem to have found their future spouse, and I'm the only single dude left, which often makes me think "what if I never find someone?"The thought of being alone forever isn't a pleasant one, so I will try to avoid that as best possible.I learnt a statistic the other day that only 4% of people who are 25 are still virgins. That's nearly me. Somewhat depressing!Anyhow, hope some of my ramblings make sense.
yeah man, I would sugges to focus more on yourself, what you like, dislike, etc. what your favorite color is (I know this sounds dumb but its important to know oneself) When socializing, never seem overly interested in someone you like. You can find a creative way to bring things up about yourself without it sounding like a brag.Don't be afraid of you. Once people see how cool you are and can be, people will be attracted to you just because. Self consciousness is normal, gay or not. Dont worry man, things fall in place. Welcome to the boards.