At what point...

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At what point can you truely say you have been threw shit?? I have not really ever had it that horrible.. I mean others have seen worse shit then I could fathom. However, here it is.. the first day of college.. and I feel my mood dropping.My grandpa broke his hip.. I found out a friend is going threw 'hell' as someone described it and that was it. Couldn't really be more ambiguous.When i found out i might be getting a dorm.. I sorta saw it as leaving behind everything and starting over on a large scale. Now that I found out about this friend.. I guess I can't help but, feel even if I do leave it.. I am ultimately leaving a part of myself.I have been waiting to be able to just have fun and chill and just leave that relationship to die. However, now.. I sorta fel like its not dead.. it feels like its not going to die. I want to go to this friends side and be right there..However, now I wonder if she really broke up with me because she didn't "like me in that way" or if because she just didn't want me to see her go threw hell.My nature says call her... ask her. Go right to her side. The times you knew what she was thinking and likewise she knew what you were thinking are proof of how your alike...However, something else tells me that she doesn't want me to contact her.. she doesn't want me to... otherwise she woulda called me.In reality all I can do is respect her wishes and pray for her.. but, still. Its ironic all this happens on the day I find out I'm getting a dorm..I don't feel that I have the right to be depressed.. I mean... Hell.. debateably nothing have ever even happened to me that would justify being depressed. However, I just can't shake the feeling something is wrong all the way across the board. I'd like to move on... but, now that I have herd what I've herd.. I really just dunno what to think.Stirb nicht vor mir is all that really comes to mind.

Originally Posted By: NnyIts ironic all this happens on the day I find out I'm getting a dorm..Call me ignorant, but what's the big deal about getting a dorm?

Sorry I'm not very coherent at the moment.getting a dorm means I'm moving an hour a way. It means even if my friend were to try to contact me.. I would be an hour or so away. It means I wouldn't be able to see her. Or talk to her.I don't think I could help in anyway even if she asked for it. However, I guess there is always the "what if" as in "if i were here then there might be something I could do".One day its "this means I can finally put this entire situation behind me" the next its.. the same situation but, an entirely different view point =/.

well she might want to be left alone or she might want someone to talk to her it depends on what kind of person she isand if you like her alot of a close friend of hers if you see someone you like upset then it is bound to make you upset because you dont want to see that to happen to someone

She has my number... if she wants to talk she has my number.. but, its been forever since she called. I told her I wouldn't call her because well she wanted to severe all communication.

Nny, I feel you may be too connected emotionally to other people, to the point where it hinders your development as an independent person. Sometimes it's necessary to say "that's sad, but at this point in time it's not my problem".

Okay, gotcha.It sounds to me like you're really attachted to this girl. Do you still have feelings for her, as in more than just a friend? In all honesty, you can't make your life plans around one person. If there's something that you need to take care of, then go do it or else it's going to drive you insane.There's nothing stopping you guys from still being friends, even with the distance. People move away all the time and stay in contact, thanks to e-mail and/or cell phones. But you can't be there for her ALL the time whenever she runs into trouble. Does she have a way on staying in touch with you?

she probably wants to be alone but she will more than likely call you again maybe because your worried it seems like a longer time than it really is

Well thats what I did.... I knew she had problems to begin with. When we spoke I would talk to her and just sorta go on living life afterwards.However, now I hear she is doing horrible.. it just sorta... shoots holes in me. Yes.. I know I have nothing as an individual.... Virtual_Star. I'll always love her. She is a friend. I value true friends as priceless. Our break up... well. First it was 'psychiatrist said to do it'. Then it was 'I really don't like you like that'. Which I was perfectly fine with I was letting it go pretty well. And then the story turns sour and I kinda believe she lied about how she "really" feels. Even then.. I let her go again knowing I could date in college and it was she who severed contact with I.I don't know what I feel. I would probably take her back if she wanted to get back together. However as it is.. I honestly don't know. I want to talk to her.. badly. I want to just let it go also thou. I guess i just can't shake it out of my system. I would love to start dating someone. I plan on putting myself out there alot since i'm in college... I have had one good relationship that ended ... it wasn't really a "clean break" but, it was an extremely good relationship. First I ever really had despite all the shit that happened..So now I want another good one.. whether its with her or someone else. I can't wait for her... but, I guess I can never really cut my feelings off entirely. Emotionally she remains a good friend i guess you might say.

I think maybe it’s time to let it all out on here. Fuck wut anyone thinks… no one likes me anyway.But I can say I been to the shits……… the ..wired? Thing is even with the hell I have lived threw am living threw and will until I fall over dead……. And Don’t say well it will get better one day cuz it’s not. I’m incurable. But anyway there are people that …… are in more of the shitter than I am. I am so so pissed at both my parents and therapist right now I can’t even start to say how mad I am at them. They had the freaking nerve to ask my therapist if I’m having sex. Wut pisses me off more than them asking that is that they already know the fucking answer!!! So why ask my f*kn therapist to ask me.. urgggg then to add to that shit they go in and talk to him afte my session and my mom comes out crying. I know wut he did.. He fucking told them wut I said! Umm yea I blew up at him and I attempted shit I wish I hadn’t. I can’t seem to control wut the fuck comes out of my mouth when I get pissed off. GrrrrrrrrI’m just going to say it and get it all out and to hell with wut anyone thinks or says.. I don’t remember how old I was… the memory in my head… I guess at it. I was a toddler when it started she started by coming into the bath room and play cars with me and “bath my dirty spots” and it progressed form there (is progress the right word? I hope so) I hide it from every one until one day she forced me to do shit to her with a knife. Short of it - that’s the day I told Paul wut was really going on. She was arrested and later we had court and now she has life in prison. A lot of time I think if I had never told him ..I dk how he knew something was going on… but he pushing till I broke down and told him but.. Shit I dk. There are days I think it was better and I should have never told but then there are days I’m so glad I did. About or over ..I dk around a year b4 I put all that on him he was talking to me abut something I said on here (out of anger…that whole blowing up when pissed thing) She had her drunk high friends help her rape me. It got worse…. One of the girls I had to fuck a couple other times with her and she made me let a guy fuck me ( I’m not fucking gay! She made me do it so she could get drugs…) she only gave me two choices.. That that I took or get my dick burned by a car lighter… after I actually burned my dick several months ago ….. Cuz I was fucking missing the fucking bitch that did this shit to me I actually kicke myself in the ass…… still do.. I should have took the burning instead of the one I chose. Wut bug me most is it’s all my foult… I’ve kept this hidden cuz I know how people see 13 / 14 year olds when they have sex. I was 13 when we started having intercourse. It happened a couple time willingly and then I turned 14 and it happened couple more times willingly and then I told her no and then the next weekend her and her wutever bitches did wutever they pleased. Yea I know some one is going to wonder where were the fucking parents….. Sometimes home sometimes gone. Never had a fucking clue wut was going on. ……I can’t do this anymore……But yet I know there is people that is worse off. I make myself feel bad when I think that people just think they have a problem……. Maybe it’s jealously I dk.. I guess it could be. I don’t think it really fair (but hell I know fucking life isn’t fair) that I have to live in hell and some one has a little problem and thinks it’s huge. Yea I been threw shit……….. And knowing it’s not over yet or will ever end don’t help to much with a hope of it getting better. I know it’s not. A lot of times I come here and read about others problems (big or small) to TRY to escape mine. This is the hardest time I have ever had hitting the summit button…

wow man.

I wish I knew how to respond. Thats wrong on all levels. Takes alot of guts to post that kinda stuff.

I can't stand the minor issues... I know nothing that seriously bad has ever happened to me. I just have things that I can't shake.. things that stick more then they should.

Although I do have to agree with you.. Once things go to a certain level.. you never ever go back.

That was brave, Caleb.And everyone likes you.

Takes guts to put it out in the open. I remember when it happened. I was chatting with Paul that night.

I know you have a hard time with this. You should never blame yourself. No matter how it started or what happened, it went too far and your sister was wrong from the start.

Originally Posted By: CR125

Fuck wut anyone thinks... no one likes me anyway.
Then I guess it's safe for me to say that you even thinking that is absurd. Everyone likes you, including myself. And not only do I like you but I have a ton of respect for your courage to say what you said.

I second all of the above post. I don't think there is a person out there who doesn't like you.

I feel really bad now.. I thought when u said “At what point can you truly say you have been threw shit??” man I thought u meant like life….. I didn’t know u meant about a girl. I guess every one posted while I was posting (it took me a while with a few breaks..) but wut I thought this was about it don’t look like it now since I’ve calmed down and went back and read replies……… I feel bad i wanna take it back.

Don't feel bad =/.My post was about life in general. With a girl is just sorta where I am.I have had much worse happen in life and really this is a very trivial issue.The reason why I posted like I did is because I know that in reality it should be as easy as someone telling me to fucken grow up and get over it. I've had worse happen in life so really this shouldn't be a big deal.It really doesn't take much to bring me down these days and thats sorta why I posted as I did. An old man with a broke hip and some feelings for a girl. Oh well.. she was the only decent relationship I ever had.. Now I really really need to move on or something..

When Shannon broke up with me the summer after we moved to the coast we never called each other or anything. I really liked her and I wanted to at least try the long distance.. My parents would have met them half way or something and let her come visit some. They did with Ash. But her mom flipped out and forbid her to see me again. ...not going to to get into that...
anyway.. I really thought she was out of my life. I saw her only when we went to big shows and saw her there. We said hi to each other and that's it. When she saw me with Laces and (I guess found out or realized) that I was dating her the hi's stopped. It was like we tried to avoid each other.
After we moved back here... (wow 2 years ago next week) that nov we moved back she saw me at one of our fall shows with out a girl at my side.. And we started hanging out at the show and .........we started dating again. It was just.. I dk.. Never expected.

i dk.. she could be thinkign the same as you. u know abotuthe calling she could be thinking wel if he wants to talk he'll come talk to me. u know. i dk.. even if u did call her and she hung up on (i'm thinking that could be the worst thing..) then at least you'll know how she feels / thinks... i dk.
If Shannon had never came up to me and sat down and us started talking that weekend who knows.. cuz i wasn't going to go up to her. I mena i could have told her to go to hell (i wouldnt; do that to her tho) but..... yea.. it takes one person to make the first steps... u know

We sorta had an agreement. she said she had "issues" and couldn't talk to me as long as she ahd those issues. I told her I wouldn't call back and made her promise to call me once things were sorted out..I don't think she is thou..

I dk... it was about 3 years that me and Shannon didn't talk. Then one weekend she came up we talked and then.. We're dating again.

i dk... shannon is the sane one.. i'm the one with issues.. i dought i would have ever talked to her again if she hadn;t talked to me. but then we had no promises are nothing so..... yea.. i dk