The school year is soon arriving, and a new high school awaits me. It had taken some time to adjust to the first one, yes, but no, being fifteen years of age, I face the same worries I faced last year, but these worries are different. They're much more of a high-standard worry. This school of New York, the Bronx High School of Science, is the second-top high school in the city. I don't want to disappoint others, as well as myself in there.I just feel a certain worry for myself, on how I haven't adjusted to a high school atmosphere yet. I worry and think about spending a year there, a long year set for education where people expect me to be top of the class. I felt this as I did the summer work. I find myself trying to make things perfect, but stressing myself out. This may come from procrastination, but now I realize. I'm going to a really important high school, and from here on out, any mistake I make is going to affect my future. And I detest having to carry such a responsibility so easily mistaken for a burden.It's the thought of taking myself away from the warp-speed wilderness of Manhattan, where a trillion things seem to happen in just a matter of ten seconds, with the brilliant faces of a screen lingered from buildings in the Times Sqaure, shining brightly over the winter season and dark, dull clouds and bringing myself over to Bronx, which, I have never liked, never favored. I like Manhattan. I like the way the people are, though they are pretty much negligent of each other, they know who they are, they know where they're going and if they lose even a little bit of that, their sense of security falters. They know where they're headed, and I don't. I'm not sure I want to bring myself to a place other than the business-realm Manhattan.I don't know if I'm going to survive my high school because I don't know if I'm going to meet expectations. And there's also gym, which I was never very fond of, and making friends with new people. I just feel like if I were in Manhattan instead, I'd feel a bit more comfortable. A bit more secure. Rather than the hellish, dog-eating Bronx I've heard so much about. -sigh-This doesn't require a reply. I just wanted to get out my thoughts for a second and go back to shutting the door. :] Thanks if you read this though, even if it was pretty much a pointless thread.
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I'd just like to get my thoughts out for a second.
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Quote:where people expect me to be top of the classI wonder who is expecting you to be top of the class, katonsuiiton? If you are going to a higher-standard school, with more competitive entry, it will contain a number of people who are top-of-the-class-in-a-normal-school standard. They can't all be top.The same thing happens in colleges, taking students from many schools. Some people find it difficult to adjust from being the biggest fish in a small pond to being one of many in a bigger pond.May I urge you not to feel that you must be absolutely error-free and perfect? Such thinking is not only unrealistic - it is positively harmful. Greatness comes from dealing with and learning from your mistakes, not from never making them.And may I also comment on the quality of your writing, which really stands out when you're not trying too hard to impress.
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Well said Ineligible.Katon- The fact that you got into that great school says a lot about your abiilities. Surely everyone starting out there must have these same anxieties. There's no reason you shouldn't be fine.One thing I'd mention because I'm familiar with NYC. I wouldn't be so concerned about going to school in the Bronx rather than Manhattan. Undoubtedly that great school will have students from all of the boroughs, and presumably many from Manhattan. It's certainly not a neighborhood type school. I've been away from the city for a long time, and you remind me of certain New Yorker attitudes that seem amusing to me now from a distance. I know you may not believe it, but the Bronx is still part of NYC.
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Quote:Rather than the hellish, dog-eating Bronx I've heard so much about.lol are you serious? dog-eating Bronx. who in the world have YOU been talking to?this coming from a fellow BXer... the Bronx is not that bad. You're not gonna die. And whoever told you that is a little over dramatic I mean dang. But it all depends on which side of the Bronx you're going. Seriously though it's not bad at all. Unless you have a problem with seeing too many "ethnic" people then I can't help you there, bud. And if you do, then you're going to the wrong place.
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No, no, no, It's just I've never dealt well with less people, as I'm used to Manhattan, and I'm in Uptown Bronx, so I don't really know if it's a part that's bad or not, but it just seems too different and causes me a sort of low discomfort.
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I get what you're trying to say - thanks :D. Thank you for the commentary, too, Thoughtful. All your posts have been significantly helpful, as well as JapanFan's. I'll try to adjust better, and try to start thinking clearly again. I don't know, I guess the fact of me being in high school now is just getting to my head. When I used to think of high school in the past, I used to think of things I would have to do when I was older than where I was - like my sister, who usually stood up all night just to study and maintain a 98 in her classes and such. I just thought it'd be just that hard to get the grades I want, but I guess I realize now that high school for me isn't exactly what high school for my sister was.
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Staying up all night to study is not good, especially if it happens regularly.I know my attitude will seem strange in the US, and particularly in New York, but I don't think education and competition should have anything to do with each other. Education is about learning, not getting the best grades - and a lot of important learning is never assessed at school at all.