How hard SHOULD i be?

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a day might not be enough, give urself like atleast 30 hrs...but i think the main thing would be that your keeping all of that inside, i feel you on losing ur 'father', i lost someone who was close to me like that as well... and alot more other people... :-(honestly tho, if you seriously love this girl, and are planning on like being with her for along time, if not forever, and feel that she should be allowed into your, as i call it, 'special zone', then tell her everything you need to, to release the weight on your chest and shoulders... trust me, you'll feel a ton better, and she'll have a better insight into your emotions, and will be able to better love you...when i told my girlfriend about EVERYTHING i've ever been through, i felt soooo much better about life... now i just wish her periods didnt make her soo moody

yeha i really love this girl, but i still dont like talking about it. because it kinda hurts still you know?but yeah she made me promise not to jakc off the whole week hahahahhahahshe says keep alot of cold wet towels near to wrap around my dick whenever it gets hard to make it stop llolololomore than anything i think that might do it. i mean we can only see. =D

Is how hard u get with your gf the same as how hard u have always gotten, or is it different? I'm 15, and I know my dick usually gets really hard, like it's not possible to bend it at all mid-shaft when I have a full erection. But other times, like let's say I'm not that horny but just bored and feel like masturbating, then my dick might only get about 80% as hard as usual. (Erections than come on naturally often are a lot harder than the ones where I have to work at it from totally limp trying to make myself stiff.) The first time I had sex I was so nervous I had a lot of trouble getting myself really hard. When she put the condom on me it was difficult to do because it wasn't all that stiff at the time.So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that since you're 17, you've obviously had a lot of rections in your life. You should know yourself if this is as hard as u usually get. And if it is, don't let her make you feel bad or that u r abnormal.

well i know ive been harder before. its just latley i just dont have the hardness. its been a while since i was really hard. mainly ive jsut been jacking off alot, so i guess you could say the maximum im getting is about 75 to 80% hard. but its just my girlfriend wasnt all taht pleased with what she was playing with underthe table at dinner the other night hhah like we snuck away later and were making out and stuff and i just wasnt that hard. but its been a while since i remember being about 100% hard. im just hoping this isnt the hardest im gonna get. hahah cuase that would suck. like i said latley ive been about this hard when im with her and when im jacking off.... so i dont know if its stress or waht.

It's simply stress and nerves. You just need time to let the stress die down a bit and not worry so much when you're with her. Just let her know that, at least. It's a bit unfair she's making you feel abnormal and that's not helping you much at all.If you don't at least tell her you're not feeling well or you're going through a rough time or whatever you feel comfortable telling her, then how do you expect her to get off your back about this? She's not a mind reader and if you don't clue her in, it's only going to strain you guys even more.If things continue like how they are now, either you're going to feel more inadequate or she's going to feel that this her fault. Either way, it's a lose-lose situation and no one will be happy.Trust me, I broke up with my last serious ex in a situation similar to yours.

no she knows about all of that. like she knows about who died and how im having a hard time in school. she is just a little dissapointed. its not that she doesnt like me, but she just wants me to be a little "happier" when i see her haahahha

Well, as long as you try to worry less, you should be fine. If you put too much pressure on yourself the next time you see her (or every time), then you're going to get the same result.Breathe, relax, and have fun!

well i hope you are right. she's been hinting about havng sex this weekend. i mean she really wants to do it. and me being a virgin, i hope that doesnt make this problem any worse hahah i mean its not ike i dont get hard, cause i do, and its hard enough to have sex, but it just seems that i should be getting harder. latley i just havnt been REALLY hard... so idk. i hope ill be hard enough this weekend if i can last the week without jacking off aahha she made me promise lol

Originally Posted By: loldude64

i mean she really wants to do it. and me being a virgin, i hope that doesnt make this problem any worse hahah

Just be sure you're relaxed when that time comes. First times are usually not perfect because of nervousness. You need to get certain ideas out of your head (like "I have to make her orgasm" and such) because it's going to affect your performance.

As long as you two like/love each other, you should be alright. Just have safe fun. And good luck! :smile:

Indeed, the first time is often pretty bad. But it's all part of the fun of learning. :smile: