I don't even want to argue with you anymore. You are the BIGGEST drama starter/causer
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Worst Week Ever?
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I could say the same to you.
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i dont feel i deserve ridicule, i dont insult any of u unless im insulted before hand.i dont call LTTA a liar, or call false on virtuals stories. which i could do so... but i refrain because of the fact that im no one to pass judgement.im 17 and have done alot of bad things. im just trying to move on in my life. i dont have a girlfriend because im focusing on my music...i sit in my room the majority of nights that im by myself and cry to myself. thinking horrible thoughts, and playing out situations in my mind that will never come true...ive gone through alot of pain. physical and emotional. but i dont expect sympathy or empathy from any of u. i just want somewhere to be able to come to when i seriously cant take anymore...i fight with such passion. but i hate the after effects... seeing/hearing about the other in the hospital, when i myself despise the hospital. worrying about getting shot afterwards. or during.i think to myself that i'd be best off in the army/navy/air force. shooting and killing people. because it seems that, thats all im made for... im made to live here as a no one, and die a nothing.that im supposed to just do as im told, and live my life miserably. if hell is what i believe it to be, then im going through it. imma great rapper for my day and age. but i cant even enjoy me being that. i do concerts and get dressed up all nice, with my chains on, my earrings, my watch. but its all for show. deep inside i feel that im a no body. and no matter how much i put my feelings and soul into my music. it's never going to be great...i sincerely have like severe anxiety, or depression, or something, i dont know...i really do want to die. and if i had bullets for my gun, i would shoot myself. i know how easy it is to get a gun, aim it at a human and pull the trigger... i've held it loaded and cocked, and pressed against my temple... 1 therapy session a month isnt good enough for me. and thats why i turn to A2A. i apologize that this post is equivalent in size to the last harry potter book.A2A has been my home for almost 3 years (i was here before, i lost my password to my other sn) but i cant take the stress from these members... if i continue getting teased and harassed as i do in real life. then im just going to have to keep all of my messeges private, or use yim to talk to the members who help me...im done with this post. and i put my emotions into it, maybe some of u will feel me, maybe others wont. whatever the case, it doesnt matter... im alive and hating every second of it... good night...
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Quote:
A2A has been my home for almost 3 years (i was here before, i lost my password to my other sn) but i cant take the stress from these members... if i continue getting teased and harassed as i do in real life. then im just going to have to keep all of my messeges private, or use yim to talk to the members who help me...
Wow... isnt it sad that someone has to feel that this is the only they can get help here? thats just pathetic.
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I agree with you totally pink.
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Needs more drama, then it would be more convincing.
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Quote:i sit in my room the majority of nights that im by myself and cry to myself. thinking horrible thoughts, and playing out situations in my mind that will never come true... I felt like this once too.. but I had a helpful place to come to.. it was the OLD A2A. Now I'd just get shittalked and told that I wouldn't kill myself.. even though at times.. I was very VERY VERY close to. Quote: im made to live here as a no one, and die a nothing. You aren't though. Right now you are feeling so lonely and down.. and I know that the things people are saying and all the bullshit people are tossing at you is really bringing you down.. But things will get better. You CAN change things and turn things around for youself. You just have to believe that things can be different and put those things in a new perspective. Quote:1 therapy session a month isnt good enough for me. and thats why i turn to A2A. i apologize that this post is equivalent in size to the last harry potter book. You need help. Its worth the read. Quote:im alive and hating every second of it... breaks my heart that you feel this way.
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i really appreciate wat u say... i just need to live my life, and hope god has a better plan for me. i still feel terrible. and sad but i gta go... theres a small party at my house so i need to be ready for that.
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I'm still here
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If you are here but never post... are you really here?