So, I told one of my guy friends

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Many of the problems I've been going through in my life and you know what he said. He said it just like this. "Babe... you need to get laid".... just like that. And he was dead serious.So I ask you... is sex really the answer to your problems?Or is he just being a guy and giving... manly advice lol

I gotcha. I'm just trying to picture it lol. I mean it just sounds so weird going up to my baby and saying "I need to relieve some stress... f*ck me!" lol honestly.... he'd have no problem with it....I figure it's better than what some people resort to like cutting, alcohol, and drugs.

Originally Posted By: JapanFan14"Babe... you need to get laid".... just like that. And he was dead serious.So I ask you... is sex really the answer to your problems?I don't know about it being the answer to your problems but it certainly sounds like it would be the answer to his. From what I can tell, sex and or the lack of sex only seems to complicate shit. Damned if ya do it, damn if ya don't. Now if your mature enough and have the means to deal with the possible consequences of sex and since your damned by frustration either way then, I say, you might as well enjoy getting to that state of frustration.

Praying????Oh...... Yeah..... My opinion here.... But if praying helps them why hasn't the worlds prayers been answered? Why is there so much poverty? so many Homeless? And Cancer? Do the prayers from all of the parent of all the children sick in all the hospitals fighting to stays alive and not allow the cancer to take their young lives not count? do they go unheard? I can see how praying helps...Sorry.... Personally I don't buy into the whole praying thing. I have had some very traggic things happen to me in my lifetime. I have lost many loved family members and friends and non of my prayers were answered... None!So spare me climbing on your religous soap box and telling me your tale. I don't want to hear it. So dont start. This is my opinion and I'm allowed to have it. If praying works for you then keep doing it. Persoanlly I was let down by the teachings and whole keep the faith thing.... It's not for me. I don't like being lied to. Case Closed!

*claps*

I suppose I could get down on my knees and pray, too.. Giggidy!

Use a condom! Sex is a greeeeeeeeeeat option:P

being positive... Okay. But I was. I said it was my opinion. I wasn't basking anyone especially you. I was merely stating that I don't think praying will help....

Damn the lions, full prayer ahead!Take it as you want it's just a little play on Farragut. I'm in a weird mood today.

He knows I have a boo. But my boo has been so busy lately :(. And I think he's using my depression and vulnerability as an advantage. I hope not because I hate when people do that.  Quote:Praying????Oh...... Yeah..... My opinion here.... But if praying helps them why hasn't the worlds prayers been answered? Why is there so much poverty? so many Homeless? And Cancer? Do the prayers from all of the parent of all the children sick in all the hospitals fighting to stays alive and not allow the cancer to take their young lives not count? do they go unheard? I can see how praying helps...Sorry.... Personally I don't buy into the whole praying thing. I have had some very traggic things happen to me in my lifetime. I have lost many loved family members and friends and non of my prayers were answered... None!So spare me climbing on your religous soap box and telling me your tale. I don't want to hear it. So dont start. This is my opinion and I'm allowed to have it. If praying works for you then keep doing it. Persoanlly I was let down by the teachings and whole keep the faith thing.... It's not for me. I don't like being lied to. Case Closed!Well that is definitely a done deal with you lol. Though I can't say the same for myself. I mean I pray and they are answered sometimes. And other times I get frustrated because I feel I'm being ignored. Honestly... I don't know why I'm going through the stuff I am. It sucks a like a booger on a wall. I don't tell you guys half the stuff that I've been dealing with lately. Only occasionally do I mention little things but... I don't want to burden you with my... nonsense lol. Seriously whatever picture you guys had of me being little miss innocent naive nice girl PFFT throw that sucka out the window. If you only knew... shoo AMY would beat me for the crap I've been involved in. So... I don't know I just feel overwhelmed. It's like one problem comes, I handle it and then two more jump at me.. I handle those two.. and four more come at me. I'm like wow what the frig is going on. Open season on Abi. I don't know what's worse. I'm trying not to be an emotional wreck at this point and keep a smile on my "innocent" go-lucky girl face....I don't think sex is the answer... I've felt tempted many times lately. Especially with my partner. Things have been getting really tense between. But I think it's because I feel so vulnerable. Like that's the only thing that feels good for me right now against all the crap I'm going through. But I'm iffy about sex because I almost had my virginity stolen from me AGAIN. I'm not even "scared" anymore I'm just upset. I'm mad like I could punch somebody in the face. I feel violated, disrespected, and degraded and I'm about to go chop off someone's dick and feed it to the dogs. lol. But it's whatever. I'm proud of myself because I feel like I'm still sticking it through but I worry because I feel like I'm gonna break under pressure. I have been praying... alot, Armondo. But I feel disconnected from God. Like He's not listening. I did something bad a couple weeks ago and I cried out to Him for forgiveness and peace and honestly... I feel like He spit it right back in my face. I feel like He's disgusted with me... no, I know He's disgusted and disappointed in me. And I'm having a hard time seeing Him as my special Daddy right now because... idk it's just complicated. I've never felt so far from Him as I do now..... it hurts. I know I shouldn't be running to my friends and to my boyfriend for comfort but... they're the only ones that make sense to me right now and the only ones that are listening. So really, I just don't know... whatever happens happens. Everything else has been happening to me so why the heck not?

The thing about being who I am is that I don't quit. And I believe that I'll be alright. It's not like I'm proclaiming my end, it's just life. I accept that. Everyone has difficulties, I just happen to be dealing with alot. Either way I'll make it through.

I'm very sorry both of you are struggling with life at the moment.

In all honesty, I'm doing just fine. There's no doubt I'll have my up and downs but like I said I'm not a quitter. I just see it as... I'm growing up and learning. That's all. But really thanks for the concern I appreciate it.

Originally Posted By: JapanFan14I know I shouldn't be running to my friends and to my boyfriend for comfort but... they're the only ones that make sense to me right now and the only ones that are listening.Abi, those are exactly the people that you should be running to because its what friends are for. Whatever personal crisis you're having with Him is in your head and its yours to work out, but for everything else, we are here. Many people on this forum have done things that they are ashamed of, that they hide within themselves. There is nothing you can tell us that will stop us from loving you.A.W., I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your cousin. My condolences and love go out to you and your family.

I read the whole thread, but I just wanted to throw in my tuppence.

Maybe it's just a male thing, but I recently had a guy friend tell me something similar. Actually, the exact same thing, except not as politely. I don't think sex is the answer, it may be an answer though. You can wam-bam as many people as you want, but your problems are going to be right where you left them when you're finished, despite the distraction.

Also, I admire you for the will-power (and self control) you must have to remain a virgin. One of my close friends gave it away when she was fourteen, no I'm not kidding, of her own free will. She's still with the same guy, five odd years on, but she regrets it, and it's not something you can take back. As part of our sex-ed class, sorry for the whole class, we watched a video with this woman named Pam giving a lecture about sex to high school students. I only remember two things from that video - she was wearing black and white pin-striped trousers and she said ''I can always be like you, but you can never again be like me'', in relation to loosing your virginity. It stuck with me.

Finally, A.W. - you don't know me at all, but my heart still goes out to you and your family.

I think that's overdoing the idea of virginity, myself. Choosing not to have sex can be an excellent exercise of self-restraint, sacrifice, or faithfulness to one's religion, but that's primarily chastity, not virginity. The idea of virginity suggests that if you slip, you're lost forever; but anyone can make a mistake yet resume chastity.

Thank you guys so much. I really do appreciate it. I'm just gonna believe that things are going to start looking up for me. Like my friend said, "hope for the best; look for the worst"and don't you talk to me, bob, I'm still trying to get over the fact you dropped me like a hot plate lol

I'll have you know that I'm always thinking about you Abi. Sure, just last month I was in New York and kept thinking about contacting you, but due to a ridiculously large amount of time-wasting activities, I never had a chance to get to an internet connection!I even kept checking the subway but I had no clue whether to get the 6 or the 4 or the D or one of the other hundred different bloody trains!

LOL. I take the 2 train, bob... the 2!But you were thinking about me?? Aw shucks, I feel so special

Aww, and my hotel was on 34th street...

Sex: A big problem a lot of couples make is using sex as stress relief. Sex in a relationship should be a by-product of mutual love and a desire to please each other. Not to release stress. Prayer: Roc, I appreciate the feelings behind your post, but I think you were a little harsh toward our root beer friend. I think, if you'll look at his original post, you'll see that he uses prayer for the impact it has on HIM, not on the situations around him. Most Christians have enough experience to know that not everything they pray for will happen. But we also know that a huge reason for prayer is the impact it has on us. C.S. Lewis said "I don't use prayer to change God. I use prayer to change me."