Parents are lying pieces of shits

---

Originally Posted By: readytogoThese parents are doing the right thing. What we don't see, however, is that it probably pains them more to teach this lesson than it does for 25 Gunz to learn it. Yep I agree with you.Steph thats a good one!! That has been on my mind everytime I looked at this thread.

If the parents say their going to do something and then don't, habitually, without explanation, then 25 does have the right to get frustrated with them, even if his expression of that frustration is disconcerting to polite society. The fact that there is a parent-child relationship is no excuse to not follow through with what a parent says their going to do, it may be even more reason to follow through with that commitment.Now if they can't, they can't, but they still owe an explanation. Respect is a two way street.

you're also only hearing the one sided story of a spoiled brat.

That makes no difference. If someone says their going to do something they are obligated to do it unless they provide a reasonable explanation. Just because a parent is a parent it doesn't always make them right in what they do or what they say. If they want respect from a child then they need to show that child the same respect they would anybody else. If the parents did in fact not give a reasonable reason behind their failure to follow through on what they said they would do then they are showing no respect toward their child.

It does make a difference. We dont know if they gave an explanation.All in all, he is showing disrespect and if he wants to be have things fall into his lap he needs to learn what respect is. I wouldnt buy my child gifts either if they treated me like shit and called me names. My parents also wouldnt do that to me. I guess I just know better than to treat the people who are responsible for you like shit.

If we don't know whether they gave a reasonable explanation why assume they did and that 25 is just being an ass? Why not work from a point that he's just frustrated and fed up with people not following through with things they commit themselves to.Here's a thought exercise. Would you have respect for a parent that tells there child we're putting you through college then 2 and half years in they say, "We're not paying for this semester. the Johnsons invited us to go on a cruise with them so we won't have the money till fall." Despite the fact they said they were doing this and despite the fact the kid has planned his life around what they said they would do, do they still deserve his respect? Keep in mind they're still providing for him but they aren't going to pay for a semester of college because they want to go on a cruise with their friends. Now suppose this kid has had to put up with things like that all his life to varying degrees of consequence, they obviously have no respect for their child's life how much respect is due them?

r u a parent??

Originally Posted By: StephieJr u a parent?? Not sure what that question has to do with what Scotty is talking about? He doesn't have to be a parent to have common sense.With that said, I agree with what both of you have to say. If the parents are constantly going back on their word with no reason than yes they are teaching their child disrespect. Now if they have a valid reason like they cannot afford it because of the economy etc.. than 25 needs to grow up and realize in life we don't always get what we want and sometimes "Shit Happens" and we just need to accept it.

It does. If he was a parent maybe he would understand better.Im in a position that is closer to the original poster. Im the one still living in my parents home. I know what its like to expect something and not recieve it. Shit happens. And when you treat your parents like shit you shouldnt expect them to go above and beyond for you. If I were to ask my parents what they thought after reading this thread it would be a COMPLETELY different reaction than Scottys. I could probably say the same for most parents I know. 25 needs to grow up and show some respect before expecting things to drop into his lap. Not gonna happen! I side with his parents 100%. So do alot of the above posters.

You know I'm not a parent, so rather than ask a leading question why not address the scenarios I presented in my previous post. You seem to be taking the position that a child should automatically respect their parent, is that indeed your position?

I dont know that actually. I think a child should respect their parents and their elders yes.

I agree to a point, that point though is where the elder has earned their respect, and remember there is a difference between treating someone respectfully and respecting them.I don't think a child should automatically respect a man who abandon him just because he is his father. Anyone, regardless of who they are, earns our respect. We don't just give someone respect from the get go. We respect our parents because they set limits on us and held those limits even under our extreme protest. We respect our parents because they provide for us even when they don't have to. We respect our parents because we know we can rely on them. They have earned our respect through the their diligent parenting.A parent who spends all the money for food on crack is someone a child, while still loving them, more than likely isn't going to have a lot of respect for, at least in a vein of being reliable and providing for their needs. The same thing can be said of a parent who constantly tells a child on thing and then doesn't follow through. Imagine a father who, throughout his child's formative years, constantly said, "I'll see ya tonight, we'll go to the game tonight, I'll be at your birthday party" and never follows through, never shows up, except for the rare occasion. How much do you think a child would respect a parent like that?Now, none of this means you don't treat your elders respectfully and we have no reason to believe that 25 doesn't, in person. Their actions can still frustrate him, anger him, and add difficulty to his life, should he just bottle that up? I don't think so. I think he should be able to come some place like here and be able to vent and say how he feels and get out the anger that he has to deal with because his parents didn't follow through on something they said they would do.I think this community should be tolerant of people who feel they've been wronged, they may have no other outlet for their feelings.

I'm a parent and I agree with Scotty. Promising something and then ignoring the promise is poor parenting. It is cruel, and it teaches a poor lesson about promises and honesty. Of course there can be good reasons why a promise can't be fulfilled, but when there's a good reason it should be explained. When there isn't a good reason, the promise should be fulfilled, even if it is inconvenient. (Parenting is all about inconvenience.)I think if parents don't treat their children as people, they can't expect to get back what they don't give.

I'd like to add another point that I think is relevant.

When children are very young, they are very dependent and there is much they need to learn from their parents, including things for their own health and safety. However, the aim of bringing them up is to change all that - to turn them into people who are independent. The relationship between parent and child needs to change with time to reflect that, and if it doesn't something is badly wrong.

It is perfectly normal, as part of developing independence, for teens to be difficult and start asserting independence even when they cannot fully exercise it. It is part of developing the new, more equal, relationship there must eventually be between parent and child when the child is an independent adult. It is also a signal to the parent to start the letting-go process. I would worry much more about those teens who are always polite and dutiful - they may not be developing the mental independence they need.

I think this thread has been really interesting. It gets into the ideas of how parents should behave, what is best for teenagers development and the reason why this forum is so valuable to everyone here. 25 gunz was out of line with the way he slammed his parents and yes if they read it it would have been a problem. (I too slammed him for what he wrote). But I think its really interesting what Old Folks brought up, that this website is where people write to vent. I too look at some of my posts and go what the hell was I thinking, these people are going to think I am sad and pathetic. The thing is though, about 40% of the time I would write it because I was feeling highly emotional. The stuff I would write about as well as the way I would write it would be highly determined by what I was feeling at that exact moment. A lot of the time after I would write the post I would be so relieved that it was out of me that I would feel instantly happy again and that bottled emotion would be out of me. Basically what I am now saying in light of reading the above posts and looking at me is that what we write here is a fraction of our life and personality. We are not going to really understand the person purely from what they write here. If he is a brat or isn’t it shouldn’t matter, I wont judge so quickly next time since we have no idea how he feels now. This might have been the way he vented his angry so as not to backlash on his parents even more.

I completely understand how the OP feels in regards to parents breaking promises. But I agree with Steph that he has absolutely no respect for them at all. My dad has been breaking promises since I hopped out the womb but I still respect him. I don't go around throwing tantrums and cursing him out. Instead of wasting all the energy on unnecessary rantings I find a way to solve the situation myself. That's what I've been doing for the past 6 years, solving the situation myself.You can't always rely on people. They're only human.

Again, (wow, this get's so much use!) people are better than no people. But I do to, you bring up good points J...

I read somewhere that kids learn one of two things by the time they are 3 years old:#1: "It's MY JOB to please my parents."#2: "It's MY PARENT'S job to please me!"(Which one do you think this guy learned??)

Neither of those would be good principles to go out into the world with.

Originally Posted By: 25 Gunz i live in canada. I know I got in on this thread really late... but after reading all of your posts Mr. 25 Gunz. Perhaps what you stated above is your problem.:o)That was supposed to be a bit of humor....I'm a parent myself. I have promised the kids things and then had to renig but I had good reasons for not being able to deliver. Sometimes kids don't know the whole story and couldn't handle the reasons why..All they care about is why we didn't come thru...So many times there much more to things to it then you believe or know. I can't talk for your mother or father, but that's how it is in our house. I don't burden my kids with all of the crap that goes on in my life and supporting my family. They don't need to know that stuff. Their too young!