Ok, so I'm a 19 year old girl, in college, and I've never been in a relationship or anything even similar. I mean nothing - I've never been out on a date, held hands, kiss, or even romantically hugged a guy before. It's not that chances haven't come up(though there haven't been too many, I went to a country school and I'm a total nerd) I'm just in the mindset that dating is a waste of time unless you feel like the relationship can last, and I was always terrified to confess my feelings to any of the guys I've liked over the years.So now that I'm in college some things have changed, and I have at least one question to ask for now.So, I started talking to this guy a couple of months ago, and we've really hit it off. We met online, and while we usually just text we have Skyped a few times, and I really like him. He lives in a different state usually, but he goes to college near where I live, so he's going to be coming around soon. Now that there's a chance that things will get serious, I'm terrified, and it's not just him. I've met quite a few guys recently, all of whom enjoy my nerdiness and want to go out, and once it gets to the point where we start talking about dating, I start getting these thoughts. Like, things they do that never bothered me before suddenly becoming irritating, and I feel like they'll ruin the whole relationship, or I'll just make up problems that aren't really there, and it's driving me insane. It's like I'm setting myself up to think the relationship won't work, so there's no point in trying. I've always really wanted to be in a relationship, and I've never had this feeling with guys I've liked before now.So I guess my question here is is that normal? And is there a way to get over it? I really like this guy, and now I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is because I really don't like something about him, or if I'm just making it up?
I have a question about dating...
Welcome to A2A, Teadum.
I think it's very normal and natural to be scared of a big change. However, if you always give in to your fears, you end up in a deep rut where nothing new or interesting can happen.
Though never doing anything is bad, it's reasonable to want to take things slowly. Can you tell yourself you will just take things a step at a time? If he's a good guy he should be prepared to take things slowly. Online talking certainly shouldn't proceed to a committed relationship without both of you first getting the chance to see what the other is like in real life.
WE'll skip the cliches about nothing ventured and don't know till ya try, etc.Here's a pretty simple truth for you; relationships fail. They fail all the time and that's part of their nature. Another truth is that relationships succeed, which is also part of their nature. The funny thing is that neither outcome is possible until you enter into a relationship. So, intellectually, just play the odds. If you do not enter into a relationship, your odds of a life-long relationship are zero. Therefore, if you enter into a relationship, your odds of a life-long relationship have increased by a factor of infinity. That should appeal to your nerdy mind good luck and have fun! Let us know what happens
and there was light