i havent posted anything for a long time, mostly b/c my now ex was insulted (no, i didnt let him read it, he thought of it as me blogging our personal life though). anyway...that's what im here to say i guess. some of u have been very good about answering my posts with great advice and maturity, and i dont even know if you or anyone will be reading this, but i just wanted to say...u were right.
mostly, anyway. my now ex-bf wasnt abusive, really. maybe a bit sexually. depends on how u deal with coercion and things like that. but here's what happened...
i went to this school-funded event with free laser tag and a "headphone disco". i got bored with the disco right away and started talking to the guy in front of me in line for laser tag. im really glad i did.
we've been relatively inseparable ever since. hes in 2 of my classes and also a bio major, and i suspect (more than suspect) that he may be a tad more intelligent than i am. either way, it's nice to use polysyllabic words more often. and as for the beliefs thing, he guessed what i was. and said it was cool, and made sense. last thing: total gentleman. first night we kissed he apologised for accidentally touching my butt at one point.
i'm having a wonderful time over here at school, but meanwhile wade is very unhappy. he started off saying that he needed me and i was the one and everything...then went the altruistic route and dumped me on fb (again). he still calls me to see if im ok, though i know he just wants to talk and im the one hes pulled to. last night, he asked me if hes fat. this guy is skinnier than i am! his brothers tease him about it often. and now he wants to know if hes fat? (or: ugly, crazy, etc)
meanwhile, when i dont worry about wade, i feel oddly...liberated. i told myself i wasnt changing for him, but when we shortly broke up i promised i would go to church w/him and do bible studies each week. i guess there are other things too, but i wont get into it.
i feel like for the first time in my life, im more confident but this confidence isn't based off of someone else. i think im ready to start my life now. it's like that feeling when u stretch ur legs after sitting for a few hours or how i would imagine the same would be for wings. or perhaps a baby bird learning to fly. im not sure im doing a very good job of explaining this, but it's still quite new to me.
anyway, thanks for reading all this. if any of you have any suggestions on something to do about wade, i would really appreciate it.
im sure ill b in touch :P
Good news? i think
I think it's very good news!