Oldest virgin here? and how old are you right now

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One doesn't need to know a lot; one just needs to pause and reflect before hitting the "post this thing" button.> I would think that a vow of abstinence would negate any sexual tendancies, but WTF do I know?Yeah...it's worked out swimmingly in the Catholic church.

In reply to: Yeah...it's worked out swimmingly in the Catholic church. ummmmmm.... that was my point. Should I spell it out more clearly in the future?

That was sarcasm on top of sarcasm. Should I diagram the sentence?

lol (on top of lol)get's out the old disecting kit

Didn't Ovid say something to the effect, crap on top of crap is crap?

I thought it was Tommy Lasorda actually

In reply to:That's true for things like rape and theft. It's a little over the top if we're talking about abstinence versus having an intimate relationship (note that I didn't say abstinence versus promiscuity).Intimate relationships can have similar consequences as rape, theft, murder, etc. Except there is little justice in that system. From my view, it's in the best interest to wait for marriage, mainly because of trust issues and for character judgement.In reply to:The basic drives are thirst, hunger, sex, shelter, and for most people, forming social relationships with other people. The drives need to be controlled (you can't just take your neighbor's house and steal his wife and pantry contents, for instance), but non of those drives needs to be eliminated in order for society to function. The majority of adults have sex at some point, and society manages not to disintegrate. Denying yourself food seems masochistic. Same for sex.Food is necessary for survival. Eating is the only way to relieve hunger, but there are other ways to relieve sexual tension. There also may be times when it's inapproiate to eat even if you're hungry, but you could choose to do so anyway and face whatever consequences. I'm not willing to face the consequences of having sex or getting into an intimate relationship with the wrong person (someone I couldn't trust and expect to keep a committed relationship / marriage). I value love over sex to this point. Why would you consider it elimination and not control?In reply to:Humans seem to have a lot of difficulty with fidelity, as do all mammals, even the ones that form strong pair bonds. That doesn't mean that sex is bad.It may be seen as bad from a social standpoint, depending on the situation. And it may need controlling to meet other priorities.In reply to:When you talk about not having sex, are you really saying that not having a relationship that might lead to sex let's you not have to deal with an aspect of the society you've "come to know and hate"? (Think about it. You used the word hate.)That may be true, but I'm not consciously avoiding any relationship except with those that don't meet my standards. When I mentioned hating society, it's more due to the hypocrisy regarding marriage, dating, and guys vs girls waiting for marriage.. also the negativity toward those who wait. There are other reasons, but I think those are the main ones that apply.In reply to:It sounds like you've had one or more bitter experiences. It also sound like you haven't gotten to the point where you trust people who might be potential partners.Just one relationship, which was enough. I'm willing to trust those that are waiting for marriage. Even someone that isn't a virgin, who respects my intentions, is much less likely to want something untrue.. But I don't believe I could be convinced enough of their ability to hold a committed relationship.In reply to:If it works for you, that's fine. But I don't see it as a noble thing, one way or the other, so much as a lifestyle choice. I just hope, that after all you've been through, that getting to the point of intimacy won't be a major hurdle.It seems that it should work for everyone, as I don't know of any people that don't have to deal with society and emotions. Whether it's noble would depend on your morals and beliefs. Premarital sex should be a moral issue for those that call themselves Christians, which seems to be the majority of the country (more hypocrisy overall). Thanks on the last comment.In reply to:I don't understand what you're saying here. Are you saying that someone who would be a good mate if you waited wouldn't be a good mate if you didn't? Or that someone who didn't want to wait would ipso facto be a bad mate? And by anxiety I assume you mean shyness. How does that fit into the equation?Nothing is absolute with people. As they say, life is a game of odds.. Chances are best with this scenario for what I want. Anxiety is a big part of the equation for me, but it's not the reason in itself.

In reply to:I'm willing to trust those that are waiting for marriage. Even someone that isn't a virgin, who respects my intentions, is much less likely to want something untrue.. But I don't believe I could be convinced enough of their ability to hold a committed relationship.The pool of virgins is a small and diminishing one, once you get into your 20's. It's a pretty exacting standard. Most "available" people, once you're into your 30's, are single people who are not virgins, divorced people, married people looking for affairs, and some people who've never been in a serious committed relationship, and have major adjustment issues. I'll bet that the number of well-adjusted virgins in their 40's is very, very small.So if you start with a small group of people and then have other standards beyond that that a potential mate must meet, your chances of finding the right person are pretty slim.

Welcome back, Detached!I don't know what your old account was, but it shouldn't have been deleted unless you asked for it to be deleted. If you want, you could PM me or sdp what the account was and we could see what the situation is.

I'm a virgin and i'm 18 years old. I just haven't found the right guy yet.

Welcome to A2A, Booskigirl.