I recently had sex for the first time, and she had an excellent time. So did I, but there have been problems ever since. I was able to maintain an erection with ease during intercourse, but after she had orgasmed a few times and I still couldn't come I got tired and we stopped. I'm not worried about the cumming situation. That'll take care of itself, but ever since then I haven't been able to get an erection without physical contact. I used to be able to just think about my girlfriend or whatever and achieve erection but now I must use my hand to get it up. I'm pretty sure I'm worried about pleasing my girlfriend during intercourse, and I'm not sure how to get over this mental block so we can get back on track. Any help or tips would be greatly appreciated.
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Performance anxiety
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Don't worry about not getting hard without physical stimulation. Not all guys can get hard from mental stimulation by itself. Most guys require at least some physical stimulation to get hard, especially as you get older. As long as you can get hard with physical stimulation, you're fine. Its perfectly fine to give your cock a few strokes to get it hard before sex. Even better would be to introduce foreplay where she does the physical stimulation to you before sex (i.e. strokes your cock, or blow job, etc.).
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Yeah, the problem was after the sex I still hadn't come. She was willing to give me a blowjob to finish me off, but after the sex it just would not get up. I even got desperate and went into the bathroom and tried to stroke it back to life, but it just would not happen. Was it just because he was tired? I mean we had sex for about an hour, and it just wouldn't come back even with physical stimulation. I'm getting worried.Any further information, as usual, is always appreciated.
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I'm the same way as you bro. I used to get hard by just daydreaming, but now something's gotta touch it before it's ready. About not being able to cum, I've been there too. It was with a really loose girl though. It took everything I had to keep it hard, but cummin wasnt an issue... :frowning:
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Well another thing is the time you did it for. The longer a guy goes the more energy he needs to keep it going and if you are tired chances are you aren't going to cum.It really takes a lot of blood flow and energy to keep having sex, but it doesn't feel like it until after. Also with age and stuff is a factor, also if you had anything to drink would all make it harder to actually cum.
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When this happens you do get a sort of mental block about it. Fortunately the block does fade with time and more experience. Part of the block is losing confidence in yourself and especially in your sexual ability and studliness. Sex is pretty much always a bit of a mess. I sometime think it's a sort of practical joke played on us to stop us thinking too much of ourselves.