dude i been bannded from Law & Order suv & CI. well all of them really. they didn;t have to do that though i 'm never watching the crap again. the last one i saw i didn;t get but 15 mins in and i got sick. took me about a freaking week to pull out of it. anyway how u doing now?
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Can't think of a topic name, so: bla
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In reply to: world is fucked up but there is so much funny stuff too! I got chased by a turtle this morning. really. they can run when they want too. it was funny after it was over. my sis about pissed herself. that funny!
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It's thing thing called being lonely... I used to hate myself but now I don't hate myself... but I don't love myself either... I don't see how I can "love myself" but whatever...If my girlfriend stopped loving me... I would be at an alltime low for sure... she's done so much for me and if she left me I would lose all that and more...
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What i mean is accept yourself for who and what you are and be happy with it.
You girlfriend seems like a good person. -
I don't know if I can accept myself for who I am... I hate my body because my pancreas is dead (= diabetes) and there's nothing I can do about it so I have to deal with this shit for the rest of my life... I hate thatYes, my girlfriend is a great person ...
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Do you know other diabetics? As I mentioned in another thread, a friend of mine is an adult type 1 diabetic, and he has to check his blood sugar periodically and deal with insulin, but it doesn't seem to affect his life in a bad way. He's started several companies, has a wife and kids and a house and a car. Pretty normal.
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I know a few other diabetics... my girlfriend is also diabetic.I just hate having to deal with it... it pisses me off...
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In reply to: I got chased by a turtle this morning STAMPEDE!!!!!!
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oh my god... i feel so goddamn shitty right now, you guys have no idea... im in so much fuckin pain right now... its ridiculous... i would think i would die from so much pain but i dont... that just hurts even more...why am i in so much pain... i dont know... i watched the third star wars movie today.... and for anyone who's seen it... i feel like anakin now.... for you guys whove seen the third one i feel worse than he did throughout the movie... for the people who haven't seen the thrird one but the second one... just imagine how angry (or in how much pain he was) he was when he saw his mom die and killed all those sand ppl... just multiply his pain by a big number and thats how i feel... this shit is unbearable...i feel so evil... just wanna go out and kill some people like anakin did... but a part of me saying is saying no... its just so confusing... and the more i think about it the more it hurts because its so confusing.... i hate thiss....ive already gotten up several times walked over to the kitchen to get a knife to end this pain... but i just sat down again.... i feel this is not the time for me to die... but i do want to die... again... so confusing... it just hurts...i dont know what to do... its just too much.... im talkin to pete online... usually it helps me to talk about it with him (or post it on here) but today.... it helps nothing... it jsut gets worse... the longer im typin this shit im tellin myself "it will help eventually" but its not helpin at all... the pain is just gettin too mcuh...im thinking about oughzan (not many people know bout him but fuck you) .... i wish it could have been me that got hit by the car... instead of him.... god.......... i dont know what to do... i dont even know why im postin here... i just tell myself "itll help" but its not helping.... this is too much...
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I went through a very dark time last fall. I started a blog. It's there for the world to read but no one ever has. The point is that it felt better to vent openly. I did, however, find it really difficult to type with fists, but I tried.
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well me typing all that didnt help me at all.... so i had false hopes in typing that... but at least i tried..for most people it helps to type stuff out... for me it does nothing... i feel the same before as after
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just keep trying though.I attempted twice but I'm here and I'm glad I failed
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Keep trying what?I've had a few attempts too..obviously didn't work
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In reply to:
well me typing all that didnt help me at all.... so i had false hopes in typing that... but at least i tried..
this is what I was reffering to, sorry, my post was a bit ambiguous
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well ive tried several times 2 just type it out... i used 2 not b able 2 write nethin at all.. i didnt know how 2 start... now atl east i can do that but it still doesnt help...
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yeah but you're still with us so that's good.Is there anything you would miss if you were dead? A food or drink? Your girl? sunshine? me?
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Yes I'm still with you... "blame" Pete for that! (kinda)If I'm dead... I'll be dead and I won't be able to miss anything because I believe there's nothing when you die...And the reason I'm still here is because I know it's not the time for me to die.... I know I have a time.. and I also believe that I'll know when that time comes.... soon though..
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I guess I really aggree with what you're saying. I'm pretty sceptical about the afterlife too. You can't regret after death, granted, but you can think of what you might miss out on.
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Well I would miss my girlfriend. And Pete... that's about it thoguh
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you'd miss some people but that's less important than missing the progress of the world; good or bad. Are you curious about that?
