I Cheated

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I had recently gotten together with a girl, although I've only seen her once so it's not really a relationship, but anyway, I cheated on her two weekends ago. I was at a Doctor Who Convention and met a girl and had a threesome with a guy and a girl. I not only cheated on her with the girl but with the guy too. So my problem is, despite the fact that I am starting to not want to be with the girl I cheated on anymore, what do I do now? I mean it happened so should I tell her or wait later on down the line so that I could use it as an excuse to back out of the relationship when things go south? I mean they already are. Before I finish though, this is the first time I had ever cheated on a girl, and the last time as well.

If you don't think you are going to have an ongoing relationship with the girl, why should you tell her?It is possible, though, that the only reason you don't want to be with that girl is guilt about the threesome, which would make things more complicated.

Dont say its the last time.. because now you never know. I bet you have said that you'd never cheat on a girl.

Get out of the relationship now. Man up, tell her what happened! She doesnt deserve to be strung along. Wouldn't you rather see her happy then be with someone who cannot commit or be happy with her???

I'm disappointed to hear that. That's not like you at all.If you're not really in a relationship with this girl and even no longer interested, why didn't you end it sooner?At this point, I'd say just break it off without telling her what happened. It's bad enough you're not interested in her anymore. You'd be adding more insult to injury if you told her that you had a threesome. Spare her feelings.

To be honest, you're all right. Regarding the girl I'm in the relationship with, I've only met her once. She lives all the way in santa clarita california, which is forty minutes from where I live. But that does not warrant what I did. Although I feel terrible for what I've done, I can't help but feel that this is the most alive I've ever felt in my entire life. I've failed everyone and I've failed myself. There is nothing more I can do but fess up and hope for the best. All I can say is, I never thought this would ever happen to me.

It didnt happen to you, it happened to her. You had complete control over the situation so nothing happened to you, what happened is she was cheated on so something happened to her.

Its a bad situation but its done and you cant change it so id say break it off in a nice and respectful manor, do not tell her about the threesome and just move on past it.

I didn't realise such things happened at Doctor Who conventions!Jedi, I think you may be beating yourself up over this excessively. Given the circumstances, the temptation was very strong. A Net relationship with just one meeting isn't a strong one, and I think you'll need to decide whether to strengthen it or let it go.

I can't let her go. I finally realized that I care too much for her. What I have done is unforgivable, and now that I realize that, I don't know what to do. Although she may be 40 minutes away from me, it's still close enough. I'm going to continue to see her and hope that one day I can tell her in confidence.

You seem to be confused. You need to spend time thinking about what you really want and how you really feel, and then do the right thing.

I agree with Virtual on this.........you need to take some time to think over what you want.

I guess I have to weigh my thoughts on the situation at hand. Perhaps a quick sabbatical is worth my time.

Nothing is unforgivable.

Trust me it is.

To forgive or not to forgive is up to your girl to decide when you tell her that.Take it easy......you regret what you did and know it was wrong......thats good, now you gotta forgive yourself and make sure you dont do it again.........one mistake can be forgiven.

Also, get tested and dont have sex with your girlfriend till you do. What you did was bad enough without you giving her something to.Hey, I'm all for the fantasy of threesomes and all but truth is if a man and woman are letting other people into their lives there's no telling who else came before you and what those other people may have had.again, GET TESTED.

If your not going to do it again what's to be gained by fessing up. It seems that would only benefit you. You get to clear you conscious and she just gets hurt knowing you cheated. Think about what's to be gained on her part before you tell her.

You are giving her false hope by not telling her. MAN UP... Be a MAN and tell her the truth so SHE can decide what she wants!!!!If I found out my boyfriend cheated on me.. with a female AND A MAN. I wouldnt want to be with him. Would u want to be with a girl who did that to u??

This thread is absolutly riduculous... As he said in his first post.. I had recently gotten together with a girl, although I've only seen her once so it's not really a relationship Why hell are you people jumping on him to "confess" and all this shit.. And I really don't understand why you(Jedi) are even worked up about this. There is no exclusivity here.. there is no "relationship". Just because you've seen her once, this means you can't see anyone else?? This is so stupid.

Originally Posted By: sdpThis thread is absolutly riduculous... As he said in his first post.. I had recently gotten together with a girl, although I've only seen her once so it's not really a relationship Why hell are you people jumping on him to "confess" and all this shit.. And I really don't understand why you(Jedi) are even worked up about this. There is no exclusivity here.. there is no "relationship". Just because you've seen her once, this means you can't see anyone else?? This is so stupid. I actually completely agree. From everything I heard there is no real relationship. Though I am not one to agree with random hook-ups, I don't see anything to confess.

End it and don't tell her. It will spare her feelings, your trouble, and to be honest you're not even sure you're in a relationship with her so why go to the effort of "coming clean" about it?On the other hand, what you did is wrong if you consider the threesome "cheating". End it on a friendly, vague basis, and move on. You might care for her, but at the end of the day you're the one in the wrong and the one who needs to learn from the mistake, she needs someone who won't go off shagging people at a doctor who convention.If you really care about her, let her go and leave her ignorant.