STRESS!!!!!!

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BAH!!! Mother FUCK! Life SUCKS. I hate this shit.But instead of just ranting and swearing, I'll explain.My parents are divorced, and have been for a few years. It has to do with this. Whenever my dad talks about women he's met or is talking to I just try to ignore it, shrug it off, hope nothing happens. (Maybe it sounds mean but I'm not ready for this crap yet) That's not the problem, that's just a little background info I suppose. My mom has been hanging around with (and he's been at our house A LOT) a guy with the same name as me. After I get all bitchy today she FINALLY comes out with "yes I'm dating him is that what you wanted to hear?" after I got all pissy and told her why. And then I tell her how I don't like it and such, that I don't like it when he's around, all that. And then she pulls a fucking guild trip on me saying "You don't want me to be happy?" yadayada and such "I deserve to have fun sometimes" and all that shit. I mean what the FUCK!? Was the guilt trip really necessary? Or are you not aware that most kids don't exactly LOVE the idea of parents dating after a divorce! I mean you'd THINK she'd automatically know this, as I had a VERY hard time with the divorce itself! I'm not exactly into EITHER of my parents dating, but having him around so much and everything, her always out with him and all that other shit just PISSES ME OFF! It is making me SO STRESSED and I feel like I want to break every window within a 5 mile radius of my house, DAMMIT!!!!And I do NOT open up to my mom, it was hard enough telling her that I don't like him around! And when it comes to counsellors, they're not for me. I refuse to see them. I'm an extremely nervous/anxious anti-social person even NORMALLY, without having to deal with this shit! And the only other person I really talk to about most of my personal stuff is my cousin, but his parents are still both married, and from what I can tell from talking to him, he wouldn't even want to hear about this, or let alone care much. I kind of mentioned it a little bit when talking to him on AIM last night, but he didn't say anything about it. Other than him, there isn't anyone I can talk to about this, (or at least anyone I WANT to talk to about this!). And why does he want to here about my problems, his parents are both still happily married, and he doesn't seem to care much for this problem of mine. I want to have nothing to do with this, and this is really stressing me out. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Nothing, because there's nothing I CAN do. I should just sleep for the rest of my life....

is there a reason that you don't like this new guy in your mums life - other than he is a new guy in your mums life????You have every right to be angry about your parents getting divorced, however they didn't get divorced to hurt you or piss you off, they obviously have their reasons and you have to try and respect that and learn to live with the fact that they are now separated. It doesn't mean they love you any less, or in fact that if either of them get new partners that they love you any less, just that they are entitled to have their own lives AND be happy - and happy parents, make happy kids - if the kids allow it.Instead of having tantrums etc, why not try spending quality time with your mom on her own - as in tell her you wanna do stuff with her - and also try spending time with the new guy he might actually be a really decent guy and tho he wil never replace your dad, he might be a good friend to you and someone that makes your mother happy, and surely thats worth something!

Originally Posted By: ~AngelWitch~Instead of having tantrums etc, why not try spending quality time with your mom on her own - as in tell her you wanna do stuff with her - and also try spending time with the new guy he might actually be a really decent guy and tho he wil never replace your dad, he might be a good friend to you and someone that makes your mother happy, and surely thats worth something! I know they both still love me yadayada etc. etc. I've heard it all before a million times and I know it's true but it's still hard.Yeah well he seems like a nice guy and all, but I need time to get used to this shit, and I'm not ready for this yet. I suppose I could say I would never be ready for it but I knew it was coming eventually, and it just depresses me and makes me want to sleep and do nothing..And I was feeling depressed about things yesterday so I just wanted to sleep, and ended up not going to my cousins little family birthday party for a few hours and that cousin and 2 siblings now apparently think it was just because I'm lazy. Well I'd rather be lazy than have to explain to them why because I don't want to have to deal with their crap about it.

I know it must be incredibly hard for you to deal with all this, but i think you have to find a way to do it hon, things are never gonna go back to the way things were.........change is hard, being a teenager is hard, family stuff is hard, but you can and will get through it all. If you hate to feel like this then do something pro-active about it, why not sit down with your mum and the guy and tell them you are finding it hard, it will help them to not get mad when your mood changes and you get angry, i would imagine all they say is a sulky angry teenager who is not happy no matter what happens......teenagers in themselves are hard work, going through a divorce etc is hard - parents hurt too, but if neither of you can talk to the other then its gonna be hard to find a compromise and for things to get better.As a parent, i would want and do want to know if something is bothering my kids, the thing i hate is storming off, door banging etc instead of telling me whats wrong, sometimes tho i get it that they need that, before they can sit and talk, thats fine AS LONG AS they do talk to me......your mum must have been through a lot as you have, and has had a lot to deal with as you have, you two should be there for eachother.Its ok to feel bad about things, but don't let them rule what you do, when you are feeling depressed go take a run or go for a walk, its amazing how much better you feel, try and speak to your mum about things, and don't beat yourself up about feeling like you do, its perfectly normal, but there are ways to stop it from hurting as much, and it takes work on your part, and communication between all of you - things will get better.

Alright this is just TOO FUCKING MUCH. He had slept over here a few times before on the couch, but this morning I find out he's slept in my mom's bed overnight? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO. They're not even married, let alone ENGAGED! This is BULLSHIT. This isn't a fucking hotel, and if it is he sleeps on the fucking COUCH. Her dating him and having him around a lot, and occasionally sleeping over ON THE COUCH is fine, but this is TOO FUCKING MUCH.I don't care who is the "adult," but I'm laying down the fucking LAW now because this kind of shit won't be tolerated.

And I went to my cousin's house earlier today, and drove with her in the car as I only still have my permit and don't have my own car. And we got into an argument, and apparently she doesn't want to get married again, but just wants to "date?" I said it's the same bullshit as twenty year olds or w/e who date JUST TO DATE, and for no other reason like settling down or whatever. And she explained she wanted to have fun blah blah blah... everything that entails being FRIENDS with someone. And if she doesn't want to get married again, she should by no means be fucking "just dating" in order to do the same things she could do as simply being "FRIENDS" with the guy.She picks me up and he's driving. Why? Because she's had too much to drink while I was at my cousin's house. (It's now 8:30 P.M. when she picks me up to bring me home) I've HAD IT with this BULLSHIT.It's like I'm the fucking adult here and she's the kid. She just doesn't fucking get it, and I can't convince her otherwise when it comes to ANY-FUCKING-THING. I'm getting really pissed off at this stupid shit and I'm SICK OF DEALING WITH IT. What the fuck does she expect me to do? Because pretty soon I'm just going to fucking go off.Some of you may remember the thread I posted about sleep habits. Well, now they're A LOT worse, and I'm sleeping WAAAAAYYYY more because of this shit. It's really getting to me and I'm just fed up with trying to deal with it and trying to reason with her about this bullshit. There's nothing left for me to do.

How old are you??

Originally Posted By: AmzHow old are you?? 17.

Look, Im an asshole, so Im going to tell yuo what your mother wants to but wont becuase she cares aboutg you, Ill also tell you what everyone here wants to tell you but doesnt have the balls.your mother is an adult, she likes sex, your mother and fathers relationship is over, and your a punk ass kid, who cant lay down shit but his dirty laundry. There is no fucking law for you to lay down, its her house, her rules, shes providing you with a future and a home, and she says what goes on in her house, not you.If it displeases yuo that much the best yuo cna do is to move in with your dad.Most states ( I ASSUME your in the US but who really knows ?) give preference to what a child wants in living arragments once that child turns 14, at 17 its PRETTY much up to you where you want to live, but a judge has teh final say. Your mother owes you no explanation, she likes the dick, she wants some dickl of her own. She was married before, and marriage tends to leave a bitter taste in your moth once it goes to shit. She may change her mind, she may not, she may date around for years and never find someone she wants to marry again.Sex is part of human nature, get the fuck over it. Your dad, if he can talk a woman into it, is having sleep overs himself, as many as he can arrange for.A woman can give away more pussy than the richest man in the world can buy. so go lay down the law, see where that gets you.Mys on talked shit to me it would get him no driverse license till he was 18 and paying all his own shit with out me suplementing his meager student 4 dollar an hour fucking McDonalds wage.Your the kid, shes the mother, you get to do as your told and live with her rules and anyhting else is just tough shit.The exception to this is of course if the guy (s) are doing something that affects you besides humping yuor mother. Molestation, shit liek that gives yuo a legitimate excuse to hate them. Hating becuase hes not dad, you didnt marry him, thats bullshti childish behavior, that would get you knocked on your ass in my house.Get the fuck over yourself. Now go cry or type a bunch of shit that Ill nevre read in responce to me saying your mom likes the cock. what ever, your life and words dont affect mine, I only responded in defending your mother as an adult who gets to do what the fuck she wants in her own fucking house with out some little bastard laying down the law and saying what will and will not happen in HIS home.Your a punk ass kid, get the fuck over yourself.be glad your not my kid.Tough titty said the kitty, but the milks still good.

If I was your kid I'd kick your ass. I'm surprised that they let you reply to people with this shit.From what I can tell an asshole like you doesn't even deserve to be a father, let alone tell me whose opinions matter and whose don't.Originally Posted By: GrvtykllrMys on talked shit to me it would get him no driverse license till he was 18 and paying all his own shit with out me suplementing his meager student 4 dollar an hour fucking McDonalds wage.Sounds to me like he should do that. I sure as hell would if I had an asswipe for a father.I started this thread because I wanted to tell people about my problems, maybe get some advice and a little understanding about it, not to be flamed by someone who needs to take their problems out on me.

Sorry, but I'm inclined to agree with what Chance said on the matter. The general idea I think he's trying to get across is that ... 1. you live in her house, abide by her rules2. what right do you, as the child, have in Quote: "laying down the fucking LAW now because this kind of shit won't be tolerated. ?" ... if I considered saying anything of the sort to my parents I'm damn sure they'd kick me out. It's called respect for your elders. 3. im sure you've had gf, or thought about it... whats the difference? she probably thinks you're old enough to know that she has the same needs...What you have talked about regarding your mom should not be a problem. I can see maybe you would be a little upset that you're parents aren't together... but it does look like you're over reacting a little.

Quote:And I do NOT open up to my mom, it was hard enough telling her that I don't like him around! And when it comes to counsellors, they're not for me. I refuse to see them. I'm an extremely nervous/anxious anti-social person even NORMALLY, without having to deal with this shit!This is a problem. If your mom won't just do what you tell her to do, and you refuse to see a counselor, who can help you deal with your situation, all we can do is give you our sympathy. There's not really much we can tell you to do that will make you happy. We can't control what your mom does.

Originally Posted By: Amz3. im sure you've had gf, or thought about it... whats the difference? she probably thinks you're old enough to know that she has the same needs...The only reason I would want a girlfriend would be to find that one person I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Not simply because I want to make out with someone, or "hang out" because if I want to "hang out" I can have friends to do that, and in terms of being loved, I have family.And I absolutely LOVE how everyone thinks that counsellors can help everyone, when that simply just isn't true for everyone. When it comes to me, counsellors are useless.

As you said, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm not saying that yours is wrong, but nether is someone who has other ideas.Your don't have a mature understanding of adult relationships, though. Romantic love is not the same thing as family and friend love. People also have sex drives, and parents are people, even if it's uncomfortable to think of them as sexual beings.

Originally Posted By: Steve_A

People also have sex drives, and parents are people, even if it's uncomfortable to think of them as sexual beings.

I've heard this a thousand times over. But if you're not married to, let alone even engaged to someone, you shouldn't be fucking them. That's what I say.

Originally Posted By: Steve_A

Your don't have a mature understanding of adult relationships, though. Romantic love is not the same thing as family and friend love.

Why go out with someone for "romantic love" if you don't have plans to marry that person or spend your life with them romantically? I think that's bullshit. You shouldn't be going out with someone simply just to get "romantic love" if you have no intention of marrying that person, or finding that one person you truly do want to marry.

Quote:I've heard this a thousand times over. But if you're not married to, let alone even engaged to someone, you shouldn't be fucking them. That's what I say.Thats your opinion, a few billion other people have a different opinion.

Originally Posted By: bobaliciousQuote:I've heard this a thousand times over. But if you're not married to, let alone even engaged to someone, you shouldn't be fucking them. That's what I say.Thats your opinion, a few billion other people have a different opinion. Hrmm... how about we not even go there?

Why not? From what I've read this seems to be an important issue. Obviously you have a problem with your mother having sex with this new guy because he isn't your dad, that is perfectly understandable and everyone would feel the same way if in your position. But you also feel that its wrong for her (or anyone, it seems) to have sex while out of wed-lock. That is your personal view and opinion, but apparently it is not the opinion of your mother. That is something that you have no right to condemn her for or try to change.

Well you do keep spouting off how people are entitled to their opinion. Maybe your mom's opinion is that she can fuck who she likes - it's her life, her house.....I do understand what you mean, but you have to get out of the frame of mind that you're in - it's obvious that you just want people to support you in "laying down the law" to your mom. She is an adult. She knows what she wants, and you attempting to tell her what to do is more likely to send her the other way.

Originally Posted By: bobaliciousThat is something that you have no right to condemn her for or try to change. Well, I agree with the 1st part, but not the 2nd.Originally Posted By: AmzMaybe your mom's opinion is that she can fuck who she likesIt's cool to see how nice in your words you guys really are.