Friend zone -- not good if you want a GF

---

Here's a good posting from another forum on not getting stuck in the friend zone, if you're a guy: No Mre Mr. Nice Guy.

thanks some good points made

I like the bit about if you're rejected, it can just be over and in the past in just about 8 seconds. I constantly put off asking girls out because I concentrate too much on the consequences of rejection, but I like his view on it. He put it so simply, it never seems that easy but I suppose I just gotta try it.Thanks for that Steve.

You're welcome. And thanks for not pointing out my spelling error, or the clumsy thread title.

Well, everyone makes mistakes. And I think we can let the little things slide. People come here for help, not to have their spelling or grammer corrected, although that is often the first thing that someone will mention in some threads. Although they usually have an entire post full of rediculously spelt words. I can't stand it myself sometimes.

rejections dont last 8 seconds. i always think about it and get alittle depressed and very embarrassed if anyone else is around. lasts for the whole day, but if its sum1 a really love thens its going to last for awhile then.

Really? And who drags it on? You or the person rejecting you?

Thank you! I knew someone would finally step up.

Well obviously it doesn't literally take 8 seconds, but the embarassment and awkwardness only continues for as long as you want it to. Basicaly its saying (or my interpretation of what its saying) is that there doesn't have to be a big deal made of it, and as long as you get that into your head then you can get oer the embarassment a lot quicker. Cause in the long run, its not gonna make much of a difference.

It's not that simple. The girl whom you ask out and then get rejected isn't really going to become your friend, unless you try and try. And you may lose some potential friends in the process.

But if you worry too much about not having enough female friends, you may never get a date.

I have enough female friends, I don't need any more.

gives bob back his trumpet to blow LOL

I love the smirk!

lol - well its true!! Not trying to boast...

Dude…..I can still hear the crowd cheering for you.....

It's a serious point. Being a friend is not the same thing as being a boyfriend. Once you're friends for a while, you become like a brother, where the idea of a romantic relationship seems kind of gross.It's great to have friends of the opposite sex. But if you're a couple, you can be friends at the same time. If you're friends, you're not likely to become a couple.

i know hon ........ you know i was just playing with ya

Yeah, and it kind of sucks because I can't go by my looks. I have a good face (I think), but it's not like I look especially buff. I usually go by on my personality, but most of the time, once they know me, I'm a brother.

The flaw in your reasoning is that you think you have to be buff for a girl to be interested in dating you. That obviously can't be true, or only buff guys would get dates. You need to work backwards, from the realization that ordinary-looking guys do get dates. Now, how do they do it?

Don't hesitate to show a girl that you are interested in her before you enter the friend zone. Be prepared for a lot of rejections. I know this has been beaten to death, but an ordinary-looking guy with confidence and poise is way ahead of a good-looking guy without those attributes. aThere's no magic bullet for feeling confident and relaxed, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Just do it, do it, do it. Even a low percentage of success beats the hell out of a zero percentage (from never trying).

People actually stay friends after breaking up, so I don't think it's impossible to become friends even if you ask a girl out, but she's not interested. The oppisite, I think, is more difficult.