We don't have any objective information on how close this girl was to actually leaving her boyfriend. It's not that no one ever splits, but it's talked about more than it's done. Another problem is that a girl in a relationship often knows the effect she has on a guy friend, consciously or not, and keeping the guy infatuated with her serves her own purposes. Yet another problem is where the girl splits with her boyfriend, but still has feelings for him. Then the guy friend becomes the third leg of a messed-up emotional triangle. The worst possibility is that the girl will cheat on her boyfriend out of anger, to punish him; that kind of thing happens a lot.It's a tough thing to jump into one of those situations as a first relationship, especially when you're already infatuated with the person you're going after.You're questions remind me of the situation comedies where the protagonist is forced to be completely frank in everything he says. You would be a social pariah if you did that. It's good to openly express your feelings, but it's not always appropriate.
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Damn! I said i wouldnt do this!
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sooo, I think what you r trying to say...Is that i did the right thing by not tellign her why i was hurt? or did i miss read that?
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You did the "wrong thing" by falling for a girl who was in a relationship, but you can't help the fact that you're human.In my opinion, you'd be better off looking elsewhere for a relationship. This girl sounds pretty flaky. In any case, if you told her how you felt, it could change the nature of your relationship, but I'm guessing you're all doe-eyed around her, and she probably gets it, if she has a clue.If hanging out with her is keeping you from pursuing other relationships, then it's a problem.
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I am not "doe eyed!" never in my life have my eyes been doed! -_- I do not follow her around like some stupid puppy, we hang out, we actually have fun together, she's coming to a movie tomorrow with me, she called me yesterday at 9 in the morning and tomorrow i get to return the favor...
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did you ever think that you like her because your not allowed too... the very fact that you told yourself... I'm not going to fall for her.
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hmmm, that could be part of it i supose, I must have a complex or something, every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BF, either that or I have really good taste but am to slow
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hmmm, that could be part of it i supose, I must have a complex or something, every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BF, either that or I have really good taste but am to slow
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hmmm, that could be part of it i supose, I must have a complex or something, every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BF, either that or I have really good taste but am to slow
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She has no idea how you feel? I wonder how clueless she really is...> every girl I've been remotely intrested in has had a BFThe "good" thing about that is, nothing is really risked. If you asked out (or asked to hang out with you) some random girl and she said no, then you couldn't tell yourself, "Well of course, she has a boyfriend!" It's also easier to talk to a girl who's in a relationship, because it's not obvious that you're interested in a relationship with her, so you don't have to put yourself out there.Falling for girls who are in relationships is not likely to get you a relationship, and if a girl did dump her boyfriend to be with you, how do you know she wouldn't turn around and do the same to you the following week?It's good to have female friends, to help you become more comfortable hanging out with and talking to girls. But it would be a lot better to go after a girl with whom you weren't in the friend zone.
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In reply to: if a girl did dump her boyfriend to be with you, how do you know she wouldn't turn around and do the same to you the following week? My response:Because I am exceptional.You believe that just because someone decides that their relationship has gone stale in pursuit of a better one, it not worth having?I see where you are coming from; trust is probably the most important part of a relationship. But I wouldn't decide against a relationship with a girl getting rid of their boyfriend for me. Interestingly that is my situation now, I hope she will dump him for me. But I am not going to hold my breath.Mr. Nuts
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But I am not going to hold my breath.That is good. I hope you are pursuing other possibilities in the mean time.
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Well there's hope for you yet numbnuts, because I left one man for another and do you know what? Four years have passed and I'm STILL-STONE-MAD about the man I wake up with every morning, the same one I left my ex fiancée for. In the interests of honesty and reason, that relationship was coming close to its natural end anyway, because of factors entirely unrelated to, but probably supportive of, the eventuality of my affair.The bottom line for me is: if you really really want somebody, take a chance - f**k circumstance. In saying that though, there are certain circumstances you should never disregard, for example; if there'd been children involved, that would have made a big bloody difference. But besides that, why not try to reach for what you really want, in relationships, as in every other aspect of life?
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Yea, I think theres no future there with her, She has a boyfriend, and atleast 2 crushes she's informed me of, she's just not available for a relationship with me, oh well, I'm still gonna hang out with her, as a friend
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Well in your situation, where the girl dosent seem to know what end is up, it would probably be better to keep things on that basis, at least for the forseeable future.