Dating and disabilities

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Would any of you guys date and/or marry someone with a disability that would kill your sex life? Be honest

If it meant having to be more creative/thoughtful/careful/whatever in order to have sex, I could possibly imagine it happening.
If it meant no sex other than maturbation, probably not.
Is that callous?

I once made out with a girl with a tiny deformed arm. It was kinda weird but it didn't put me off how nice she was and how hot she looked.

But if you mean mentally or seriously disabled, I wouldn't. Does that make me a bad person? No, it makes me an average guy looking for an average (or above average ideally) girl.

Now maybe its just me, but a blind person would probably be a great lover.

By "kill your sex life" I'm pretty sure you mean a disability that would render no form of sex at all possible? If I'm right in thinking that's what you mean, then, in the case that somebody was totally paralysed from the neck down, there'd need to be something really really special going on before I'd marry him. But even at that, it'd have to be an open marriage, in that he'd have to understand and accept that I had needs he couldn’t physically fulfil and therefore I'd have to go elsewhere for that.Then of course you'd be getting into hurting someone you really loved and it would complicate things so much emotionally. But I wouldn’t be prepared to go without sex forever but nor would I be prepared to lie and sneak around on someone I loved enough to marry. It sounds like an awful situation, to be honest!Oh and Bob, I don’t think I'll look at blind men in quite the same light after that erotic thought-provoking comment!

Quote:Oh and Bob, I don’t think I'll look at blind men in quite the same light after that erotic thought-provoking comment!I said so little, but didn't I get the point across anyway!

First off, I don't think it is natural for someone to see a disability as attractive. I mean, as far as procreation and such. Survival of the fittest and all that.

But because we are human, we tend to be able to look past alot. I am with starfish on this one though. There would have to be an INCREDIBLE thing going on, and it would have to be an open relationship. Sex may not be the whole of a relationship, but it sure is a big part of it.

Although, I don't know how I would handle it if my partner were to have such an accident after we were together and committed. It would definitely be a struggle.

I would date and marry someone with a disability. As much as I like sex, sex is not everything in a relationship. And I can't help but wonder if the tables were turned, would someone not date/marry me? I hope I never marry someone that would sleep around on me if I were in a car accident that left me paralysed. Jeez.

Yes, I get what you're saying Lisa. I think a person would be in a very different situation if their current lover was suddenly paralysed though. It'd be different than meeting someone and knowing what you both were getting into as far as a lack of sex was concerned.In the first instance though, if he were unable to function sexually at the beginning of the relationship, even there there'd be BIG problems because, for me anyway, I know in myself I wouldn’t be able to go outside of the relationship purely for sexual satisfaction. Inevitably I'd end up forming an emotional bond with my lover, which obviously wouldn’t bode well for the marriage. One night stands wouldn’t be an option for me. I don’t do one night stands, not for any moral reasons; I think I may have mentioned this on here before, but I wouldn’t sleep with a man once if he wasn’t the sort of man I'd want to sleep with again and again, so yeah, I suppose it'd be trouble all the way from every angle if I met someone who couldn’t satisfy me sexually.

I stay out of most threads about disabilities and hold my tongue when pictures are used to make fun of them (as has been known), but i have to say Lisa that i totally agree with you on this one.

I for one, was not saying that I couln't love someone with a disability, but could I commit if there wasn't any sex life? I don't think I really could. I have dated many shapes and sizes,the guy I got now is shorter than I am, at first, I felt a little awkward, but now, he is perfect. I just don't think I could go there though, if I could never have a sex life with him. It is something I need too much.

I wasn't going to get involved with this thread, but I guess I will...Would I personally date a person with a disability? Depends on what it was. I would not and could not date a person with a mental handicap (and I mean someone with severe case) because I would feel like I was taking advantage of that person and their disability. Would I date a person in a wheelchair? Yes. Would I date someone who was deaf? Sure. Would I date someone who was blind? Why not? I agree with Lisa, even though sex is great, it isn't everything to me. Why wouldn't I give a person who was paraplegic a chance? Just because that person was paralyzed doesn't mean they should be denied a chance at finding love or having some sort of a romantic relationship. If I was in that situation, I would want the same shot.

I understand what you all are saying. I am just saying for me personally, I have no doubt that I could love/date/marry someone with a disability.

If I met a guy that treated me great, was romantic, funny, faithful, loved me, etc. and was in a wheelchair...why would I pass up a guy like that? He would be a better man than the one I am currently with. I could go the rest of my life not having sex if it meant I had a great guy. And I think most of the regs here know how much I enjoy sex. :wink: There are many other ways of pleasing yourself and with my creative mind I am sure I would never get bored.

lets face it hon, if he had his tongue and his hands im sure much fun could be had LOL thats IF he couldn't get an erection, i used to chat to a guy who had a crash and was paralysed from the neck down, he did however still get erections, and had feeling in it when he used it - how wierd is that LOL

I've watched specials and read stories about people who were paralyzed (from the neck down or the waist down) who were still able to maintain an erection and are able to satisfy their partner. Hell I know a woman who was in a car crash is paralyzed from the waist down and she still has sex with her boyfriend (to satisfy him) and is actually pregnant with their first child (although I will admit I didn't know that was possible but she's proof it is).I thought this was worth sharing... SEX, SOCIETY & THE DISABLED

It's nice to see you guys responding. I have another question, though. A while back, I was talking to my boyfriend about the Terri Schiavo case. He told me that if he were to ever get into a state like that, he would not want me to "waste my life with him." He said that he would want me to move on with my life and not waste it taking care of him. What would you do if your spouse/significant other were to express those feelings to you and something did happen? I couldn't see myself leaving my significant other just because of a disability. I would stick by him, even though he told me not to.

That was sure a turn of the topic.Stephen Hawking has had kids and two wives, and he's rather disabled. (He said that women are the greatest mystery of the universe.) I hope no one pulls the plug on him any time soon.

I posed the other question because it was in my mind at the time. We got the jist of what everyone who posted feels about dating and disabilities.So, what would you do?

Because of the Terry Schiavo case, I am really considering a Living Will. I personally would not want to live in that state and would not want my family to have to take care of me. But if it were my husband I could not leave him.My grandfather died from cancer. And the last few weeks he had been in a nursing home. My grandmother insisted on bringing him home and taking care of him. This meant changing him and keeping him clean. He could no longer respond and was not eating. And I just thought to myself, how wonderful it must be to be so in love with someone that she would take care of him night and day just so he was comfortable and peaceful when he died. She is an amazing woman.

That's really inspiring. It really takes a lot of strength to attend to someone day and night the way your grandmother did. Really awesome.

Quote:Because of the Terry Schiavo case, I am really considering a Living Will. I personally would not want to live in that state and would not want my family to have to take care of me. But if it were my husband I could not leave him.Even if he had a living will like the one you proposed? You wouldn't follow his wishes? Would you be OK with your husband's not following your living will?