Dating and disabilities

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i don’t like rape threads.. so should all people stop posting them ( or not be allowed too) cuz i don’t like them. umm NO.I happen to have a learning disability. not a physical one... but it is a disability. i don;t see any thing wrong with a question. personally it was a nice feeling to know if i had been in a crash and lost my ability to walk that i could possibly still be loved. i was soo trying to stay out of this. but i know where this is going (seen it way too much on a2a)

I'm going to weigh in on this issue and say that I agree with starfish. I'll recap briefly so that I'm not just being repetitive with what has already been stated in earlier posts...I consider sex an important part of a relationship. It's not "the most important thing," but for me, physical intimacy has some level of importance in my book. I think emotional intimacy is also important (and perhaps I'd go so far as to say "more" important)... a mental connection needs to be there too... but for me, personally, the physical connection is something I need in a long-term relationship. If I were to have someone in my life that I thought I might be with "forever," and I then discovered that sex would never be an option, it would be something I'd really have to think about. I'm not saying I'd end things on the spot by any means, but I do place some level of importance on physical intimacy. (...If I were with someone for a long time and he then got into an accident that left him disabled and unable to have sex, I would probably stay regardless, which somewhat contradicts my earlier point, but at the same time, it's tough to really say for sure unless put in the situation...)And I don't consider myself narrow-minded. As starfish stated, some people see sex as more important than others... I don't consider that narrow-minded or superficial or anything of that nature. Physical intimacy has every right to be a factor along with emotional and mental intimacy. As for the issue of whether or not this topic should be discussed for fear of hurting people's feelings..... Many of the topics on these boards could be considered controversial... If the world tried to be "p.c." enough as not to offend anyone, we wouldn't be saying a whole lot. The point of this community is to ask the tough questions... ask the questions you wouldn't be comfortable asking otherwise... This thread is not bashing or hating on anyone with a disability, nor is it putting them down.To say that you wouldn't want to be with someone who was incapable of having sex... it's a personal preference. I remember when I first started coming to this community, I saw a thread about people who wouldn't want to date someone overweight. I'm a size 16... I'm probably a good 50 pounds heavier than I "should" be. I am, undoubtedly, overweight. A part of me was a little sad to see guys posting that they would never be with an overweight person... but at the same time, it's the reality of the situation. People have preferences. People know what does and does not attract them. And before you say that my issue isn't something that consumes my life like a disability might, I will argue that for me, it does. Every self-esteem issue that I have stems from my weight. I've been a bigger girl for the majority of my life, and I have no doubt that my depression (clinically diagnosed as type-2 bipolar) stems primarily from my weight. So does it sadden me a bit when someone says they wouldn't want to date someone with a characteristic that I have (overweight, depression, etc)? Sure.. But I would never expect someone to censor him/herself on a forum such as this just because I don't love what s/he has to say. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and on a site like this, as long as someone isn't out-and-out bashing a particular person or group, s/he should feel free to express that opinion.For every person out there who doesn't prefer a certain "type," there's another person who does. We've seen that in this thread. We see all walks of life here. I don't like everything I read... I'm sometimes offended by the things posted here, but I absolutely defend the right to say those things. I see no hatred being expressed here towards the disabled, therefore, I see no reason that this thread should be locked because of it.I also apologize for going somewhat off thread topic, but I did reply to the thread questions within my long-winded post.

Bravo! That was well said my friend!

Fuck that shit!

I'll take my chances with a hooker. looooooooooooool.

Thanks for your input, Odelia.

>>before you say that my issue isn't something that consumes my life like a disability might

I dont think anyone would or should sat that. My Father is overwheight and now has Diabeties

Originally Posted By: rvbapocalypseTwo people have voiced that they are offended by this thread, and yet you lock their thead and say their oversensative and wrong and you keep this thread unlocked when they clearly haev a problem with it.Why? All the best, Rvb It's stuff like this that scares the hell out of me. In what point in our human history did offending someone become the chiefest of offenses? I have been somewhat offended by countless threads here since I've come aboard: threads bashing Christianity, blasphemous threads, posts stating that people with depression should just get over it, posts glorifying rape and pedophilia. The thing is, there is a HUGE smorgasboard of people here with an incredibly diverse set of opinions and beliefs and worldviews. There is not a single person here who can't find something to be offended by. That's life. If you want a hivemind, go elsewhere.

Quote:...blasphemous threads...Oh, please explain this one. I don't quite understand what a "blasphemous thread" is.

You know, like the ones where some kid said that Jimi Hendrix was a better guitar player than Eric Clapton. Or when Steve spoke in a demeaning manner about the Colts.

The bastard!!

that still doesnt justify the original lockign of the thread against this one, but whatever, its now a dead horse, I dotn give a rats ass anymore

Originally Posted By: damien There is not a single person here who can't find something to be offended by. That's life. If you want a hivemind, go elsewhere. Bravo!

seems like I found a hive mind and am being put down for having a difference of opinion. Just my view, but what ever, this thread is now totaly off topic. As a person with a disability my self, yea, i would date a dissabled person and well, since I've never HAD sex, i dont really NEED sex, and thus, could live with out it

People do sometimes feel offended too much. But I can see how this one might offend others. Kris, I am partially disabled, not exactly my mom just calls me a miracle baby lol. But I can't stretch or raise my right arm sometimes as high as my left because of an accident during birth that damaged a nerve. but that's why I'm in dancing, gymnastics, etc etc. It's barely noticeable. So um.... yeah I would date someone with a disability. but I don't date... lol

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since I've never HAD sex, i dont really NEED sex, and thus, could live with out it

That's great for you but you are still a "child". But when a grown adult has had it and wants it, are they now a selfish asshole if they choose not to be with someone who can't satisfy their needs?

Again.. lots of people keep drifting AWAY from the question...which was with a disability that would kill your sex life? not whether you would date anyone who had a disbility...

"That's great for you but you are still a "child". But when a grown adult has had it and wants it, are they now a selfish asshole if they choose not to be with someone who can't satisfy their needs?"what the hell? I never even implied that I thought adults who wouldnt date soneone they couldnt have sex with are selfish assholes. i just said I would date someone, i never said soemone who wouldnt was wrong not to.

How do you know you would... Maybe if you had sex you would be a sex addict..And you said you were deeply offended by thsi thread...

SDP, I do believe your goign off topic, I dont think the original question asked if i had sex would i be a sex addict, I dont know, maybe your right, but i feel that i wouldnt, why are you asking? why not ask the other peopel why they would?

You say you would date(marry) a disabled person if it meant never having sex becasue you still haven't had it and don't feel the need for it. I'm trying to say that your viewpoint is skewed. You may feel that way now, but if you had sex and really liked it and wanted it... Would you feel the same way???... You just don't know until you are presented with that situation.