She messages me and...

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@CR Intimacy is greater/better then sex. She wants to have it too soon and he doesn't. If he doesn't feel there is intimacy then it is pointless to have sex.@LittleQ Girls are extremely self conscious it is possible she isn't considering that you really do just believe its too soon.. And that you really and honestly found something wrong with her.People in general are self conscious ... so You rejecting an offer of sex could very easily be received by her as "something is wrong with you".

Thanks folks... I will see how things go. For now, though, of course, we are just friends.

ok first off, idk if that whole little, "after reading your post, im disgusted" thing was for me...to clear things up, I SAID MINIMAL, and if i didnt say it, thats what i meant,im saying cause littleQ has been practicing putting on condoms, and he seems enthusiastic about having sex, but he just might not be ready with her yet...theres no time limit on how long to wait with a girl to have sex, you can click with her in just one night, but im saying that if you are going to have sex with her, wait till at least 3 dates, you have to stimulate her mind first, or else she will take you for granted, trust me, its happened to me ALOT! i think that your a sweet guy, and that you just have more sensitive needs (like myself) and she needs to see that, so if it takes 3-4 dates, or if it takes 20, im just saying you cannot rush with her, or else she wont take you seriously...im just giving him advice on women, i know quite a bit about them, from being raised by pure women, to dating a shit load of women, to sexually being with alot of women... he can take it our leave it, but i mean it cant hurt to try...

I just got this weird feeling that people here do not know I was a virgin???I should have said something... I think it changes the situation. She knows.

Maybe you should just forget this girl... Chalk it up to experience, and make sure that with the next one, you don't screw up (which you won't, now that you've gotten our friendly advice, haha). It seems to me like she's stopping you from going out and meeting other girls (who you can start out fresh with).

Quote:im just giving him advice on women, i know quite a bit about them, from being raised by pure women, to dating a shit load of women, to sexually being with alot of women... he can take it our leave it, but i mean it cant hurt to try...not with that kind of advice. you shouldn't have to calculate when to have sex like it's some scientific discovery. and what the heck is "pure women"? I hate the way sex is demeaned and you just butchered it even moreso. I'm not trying to get on your case but DANG slow your roll!caleb, don't say all girls because that is INCREDIBLY incorrect.and LittleQ, do not and I mean DO NOT be pressured into having sex. seriously, I don't know this girl but from the sounds of it she's in it for the pelvis bumping. it doesn't matta what ya boys say and it doesnt matta what she says. if you know you're not ready then don't do it. but if you are positive then go ahead. you should still get your relationship or whatever it is you have with her right first. i can't tell you how many times i've had friends come up to me talkin bout they've been waiting to have sex since forever and the moment they do it they're like traumatized. Think of it this way, you really like this girl? can you see yourself being with her, laughing together, crying together, getting through situations together? if you say yes to that then go right ahead i don't know what's stopping you. but if you're having second thoughts you should reconsider. don't see it as having sex with her see it as making love.

ok what i meant by "pure women" is that i was raised by my mother, grandmother, and 2 sisters... and then when i did have a father in my life, he raped/molested me, and was nothing close to a "typical" father...and as far as "calculating sex" im not doing that, im telling him that he needs to get to know her, and honestly, if shes used to juss getting fucked the first night, he should calculate a certain date to set before he considers having sex with her...

Originally Posted By: GrownPastMyYearshe should calculate a certain date to set before he considers having sex with her... Why, when he clearly said he doesn't want sex?To Japan: Lol, that's why CR said "most". He was being careful.

Oh come one! It wasn't one paragraph into your post and you started making it all about my small dick! I never even said anything about it, nor indicated that I found it to have anything to do with this situation!

And 5 dates!? Crickey, that seems a little quick! I was with my first girlfriend for a couple months before REALLY feeling like I was ready for that. (We never did it because she was not ready and I could tell and never once pushed the issue.)

And then "damn... why do guys like you always get lucky!!! lol"

I mean... what is that supposed to mean?! Like I ain't worthy 'cause I don't want to fuck her five days after meeting her?

*sigh* Did you read anything about this girl in my previous posts?

I mean, I do not want to sound disrespectful, and I realise as the one with less experience I may be at the lower end of this hierarchy to be talking to you like this, but you have been saying some things in the past few days that show me you really aren't so grown past your years :frowning: And you want to graduate early, yet your posts are full of grammatical errors (not to bring other topics into this one). It's just getting hard for me to know if I should believe much of what you tell me as being good advice :confused:

Sorry, I do not mean any offence, and I thank you greatly for your advice! I realise you are helping me as best you know how, even if I think that is a little weird sometime :smile:

LQ

Waiting is fine. I'd explain this to her, and if she puts you down for it, she's obviously not worth your time. Do what is right for you, and for nobody else.

Even though sex revolves around your head, please consider that he might not be ready any sexual relations for quite a while. Everthing is sex sex sex for you...Sheesh

Yeah... we are just friends until further notice... I need to keep that in the back of my mind.I'm gonna meet her after she is done with class tomorrow. I think that would be a better idea than calling her (especially since she told me when and where she would be, she must want to see me on some level).I think I will just try to gauge her by her actions and respond accordingly. If I seriously think she is trying to get back with me... I will then have a little talk with her and whatnot Thanks for all of your advice and reassurance! I hope things work out and we can work past that little part about her telling me I have no ambition and am unassertive LQ

omg, aite, what i meant by you guys was the type of women you got, you got a troubled girl, who is obviously stuck in this certain type of guy that she knows... you have the oppurtunity to show her that there still are good guys like us... if you guys really knew me, you would know that sex sex sex, is not all that revolves around me, i was giving you example times, and minimal numbers, for all that matters, you could have a million dates with her before you even touch her... all that i know is that you recently made a post about trying on condoms, and finding the one that fits you good, so that "when the time comes, you'll be ready."honestly, think of it like this, you see an open used condom on a seat in a car, and a guy and a girl in the car... can u not assume they probably had sex?im just giving you my advice, and your welcome for it, shes the type of lady that needs to be mentally attached to someone before she can start expressing how she feels, thats how my current girlfriend is... i messed up and didnt wait long enough when it came to sex... now she doesnt really appreciate when we do, do it... so im just trying to let you learn from my lesson...you most possibly have a good girl on your hands, and i appologize for assuming that you were trying to get yourself into a position to have sex with this girl, but if you do feel like you want to do something with this girl, let her get to know the real you before you do anything with her....you have a chance to heal this girls pain, as well as give some of us "good guys" that are left a better name... and i wish you all good luck with your lady...

I see an open used condom on the seat of a car... and I'm getting out at the next light, man! (sick!)I just have one more little thing. Right after I told her about that respect thing—that she should assume a guy who doesn't want to fuck her right away respects her—, she said, "respect isn't even a choice nowadays".That comment worries me. I don't know what is going on in her mind It's like... does she not even expect to be respected? It's like she just wants a guy who wants to use her, or at least that is what she expects from a guy. And what, a guy who doesn't want to just use her has something wrong with him? If this is really the case... then I just cannot be that guy.LQ

Sounds like she has no respect for herself and probably has a lot of emotional baggage.

going out with her might change that, but its up to LQ if he wants to try and you dont have to have sex straight away

I think there was an omen. Ever since she had that talk with me about me having no ambition and whatnot, my bathtub drain has been clogged. It got really bad a day after or so. I am not so assertive (she was right about that ), so I never went to the landlord to tell him to do anything about it like I should have. It was really getting bad... it would fill with water completely when I showered and take a good hour to go down.Well, this morning, I am getting ready to go meet her after she is done with her class... and the tub fills with water... big deal, right? WELL! I get out, and notice that the drain is suddenly going VERY fast, and the water is all down in 10 minutes! I turn it back on to see if it will fill up again... and it doesn't! So that means it is not clogged anymore! Now, if I had been more assertive and went to the landlord right away, this problem would have been fixed by now, but because I am not so assertive it took the problem until just today to be fixed... the same day I am going to meet her!What could these signs mean? LQ

What could these signs mean? You're looking for a sign in this? LOL

i think that it might mean patience is key, yea you could of went to your landlord (you also could of just said fuck this bitch, and left her alone) but you didnt go to him (and you didnt say fuck this bitch (at least out loud) now your drain is clear, and it might mean that if you put in the work with this girl, she can be cleared of her problems as well...

How could I not be? There is so clearly one there... somewhere...