Okay basically, i had a brief romance with a girl, got close etc. But anyway, she cheated on me with a bisexual bloke who fancied me, in a park with me less than a stones throw away.WHen i found out i immediatly ended all romantical links to her. However, she says she deeply regrets it, and that she wants to 'destroy' herself as she feels her life isnt worth to be good.I of course has said some harsh things to her, but after she said this, i was concerned and in my fucking 'nice guy' ways tried talkin her through it.I still like her, but i know i shouldnt.Anyway, our crowds intermingle a lot. To go out with her, i had to alienate my best friend who now currently does not like me, so instead i relied heavily on another crowd which hangs round with her a lot (they are much funner anyway)This crowd helped me out a lot, however i also learnt that 2 of there number also fancied me, and i feel like im pissing them off in my pursuit of the first girl, as they are nice ppl and i hate to make them upset.The first girl got a new bf, who turned out to be a right dick, and she says she hates him, and our crowd also dislike him. But during the same week, i went to a church with her and her friend. As i knew nobody (which i hate, my shyness is unbearable), i talked to her mate all evening, if a bit flirty at times. I soon learn that she argued with her friend cos she thinks somethings goin on between me n her.THat shows she does still have feelings for me.Anyway, i got drunk and she was there. when i woke up the next day, she was over flirty with me, as in like hugs hand holding, and her giving me light kisses on the cheek, which i did not return. so i rly do think she does have feelings for me, and i do like her back, but i just dont know how to act.ANyway, to today, i met up with the crowd and she was of course there. So we were dragged off to meet a completely new crowd, in which this girl completely abandons us, and hangs round with these guys. So there i am, with the girl i like loads, whom cheated on me, hanging around n flirtin with guys right in front of me.I was of course almost completely by my larry, and i was pissed off so i didnt rly talk much to anyone there, which just makes me feels worse. I also pretended to be ill in order to leave as quick as possible.So this brings up two things, i feel like i cant deal well in social situations, and that this girl is completely messing me around, and its just so hard to think of wat to do about it, im so confused.
Story, most likely to be long so be awares
Generally if you are going to break up with someone whom you still like, it has to be a complete separation or it becomes too difficult. This may not be necessary in every case, but it certainly seems like it is necessary here.I think people can be forgiven for cheating, but this girl may not be the right girl for you anyway. You will have to decide one way or another - the halfway position you are in now gives all of the pain and none of the benefit of a girlfriend. She seems to have moved on, while you haven't.
I understand that, but the drunk ordeal when she was fliritng with me, was the day before, so i woke up on that day with her next to me.Its hard to end all ties with her, as i said my old crowd abandoned me sort of, and now were so different i dont think it can recover fully. SO now, i rely heavily with this other crowd whom she seems to be apart of, and which two others seem to fancy me. So if i break fully from her, i also break from this crowd, therefore leaving me with nothing.I think wats getting me badly though, is that she seems to be so social, shes the typical lairy girl who knows and is good friends with everyone, who seems to go out and have fun a lot.Whereas im the opposite.Im shy, reserved watever else, and i dread social situations as i think im makin myself a fool or that i dont think i am able to converse fully. im also bored a lot, as it appears that i dont go out as much as the ppl around me or seem to anyway. i always feel like im missing out on something.
Okay, id like to update hereI went out last friday, and she was there. Now i say, she hangs round with a bad crowd, theres this place near where i live, which is the druggie patch. and last friday she was high, and in her ways she flirted with me again and with other ppl. She actually fell asleep that night cuddled into my chest.The next day, yesterday, as everyone left, i was stuck with her, and she took me around this druggie patch to introduce me to her 'friends' there.ANyway, there i learnt that she has developed a drug habit, skunk cannabis etc and it seems she wants to move onto higher things. Mind you, she is still young so i think she might just be trying to show off slightly.Anyway, i ended up being dragged into some drags of cannabis, and i can honestly say i hated it, i felt paranoid and just generally pissed off with myself.I overheard some ppl at this druggie patch, one which fancies her, talk about only wanting to get into her pants, and the others too agreein with that saying shes unoriginal for a relationship. i was of course shocked, and i quickly left the patch, typically at the time when the heavy drugs started coming out.In paranoia i had bad thoughts about leaving her with those guys.I then sort of vented to my girl mates about my feelins towards her and the situation, and one told me to try to block all contact with her. An idea i've been toying with, and which seems to be agreed upon here.Today, she told me, she spent all of yesterday and last night up there, having fun with these guys. I then told her on msn im not gonna talk to her for a long time, to 'clear my head', and she only laughed at me.and now she has one of the guys names i overheard wanting to just fuck her in her msn name in hearts. I never told her, what they said.Im so torn, i want to help her but i know she wont listen, and i want to be free of her aswell but i am watching her slowly destroy herself. since ive known her (a year)shes slowly become more and more extreme. i once spent all night, talkin to her online, to stop her cutting herself. I hear rumours aswell she is quite the slag. and now im watching her fall into drugs, cos now she bunks all lessons at school to go to this place. Shes pissed off her close friends, and shes told me shes on the verge of exclusion.I dont know wat to do.
You can send her an email telling her what you know, and cutting off contact from then on. Ultimately she is responsible for her own life.
Sounds to me like most other girls I know who crave attention and will do whatever it takes to get it.You need to get away from her. Block all contact, and I mean all of it. That's what I do. You need to get rid of any way that you two could interact. That includes but is not limited to: deleting phone numbers deleting e-mail addresses removing links to facebook/myspace profiles and blocking them removing her MSN/AIM/other IMOnly then can you be totally sure that she's not gonna bug you. You may even need to change your phone number. And there's no use keeping any of her contact information because it leads to temptation, which will happen.You need to do what I did, and delete the whole lot in one go, and never look back. I did this on Saturday with a girl and even tho I wanna speak to her (despite her being a genuinely horrible person) I literally cannot do so! Thus eliminating temptation.I know you feel like you want to help her, but it sounds to me like:a) she doesn't want your help - only attentionb) she won't listen to you anywayI don't think there's gonna be anything you can do to change her, and even if you did, it's not gonna end with you two being together. As you say, she's "quite the slag". Maybe in 10 years time once she's got it all out of her system, but not any time soon. Move along. Keep moving.
Okay a majore update i think is in need.
Though i am ignoring her, as i said previously our crowds are so interlinked its hard not to, but yeah, i deleted her from bebo/myspace/msn etc, buti still hear about her from my friends.
I guess venting on her is actually quite good for me haha.
Well anyway today i got invited out by mates and she was there. now i ignored her all day etc, but i heard a lot of stuff which happend to her the past few days.
Last friday she got near drugged raped by a guy from this druggy patch, luckily some people stopped it in time. However, later on she ended up shagging some random guy.
Last sat, another party thingy, this time she shagged one of the dudes i warned her about. AND apparently did some stuff with one of my friends.
All this with alchohol and weed intow.
Now everyone else is worried she may have an sti or even pregnant, however she doesnt seem worried. Now i can honestly say i lost all feelings towards her.
But heres the bombshell
She is only 14