Your input plese...

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Yesterday I asked my family something and well… my sister agreed to go with me and my brother thinks I’ve gone mad and my parents just looked like I shot them or something… my guess is that their silence is a NO, but was never actually said to me. Now I know ur thinking wtf… well I asked them (in front of my uncles too) if I could see her. I told them I wanted to ask her some questions, maybe I can get some things answered, I dought it but maybe even a apology. My brother didn’t say anything at first but latter when I was doing barn chores he caught me alone and asked me wtf I was thinking….. I dk.. I told him if I get some things answered then it stop bugging me hopefully and I wanted to ask her about some things. He said he thinks I’m not ready and that she want answer them anyway and she’d probly say something to upset me and bla..bla.. And I know he’s got a good point but…I dk. It’s not like I woke up and thought this I been thinking it a while. I guess wut I’m wondering …asking is wut some one outside my family would think. Since none of u are like got emotions in this and stuff.. I dk.. Ryan could be right and it could be more damge than good but…maybe not.. I dk.

Do you think that she will actually answer any of your questions? Do you think she is even capable of apologising? Is it worth the risk of getting hurt again?If I was you, I wouldn't be able to face someone who did the things that she did. But you've already shown that you are a hell of a lot stronger and braver than I'll ever be.

Excuse me for sounding ignorant, but where is she now?Also, I don't think it's worth it. I will tell you that you will just get upset about seeing her, and she probably won't give you satisfying answers.This is not a movie. In movies, people can go back to other people and get satisfying answers. It doesn't work like that in real life.But it's still your choice.

i know i couldn't alone.

Do you think that she will actually answer any of your questions? i really don't know. some of them she might.

Do you think she is even capable of apologising? no.. it;s not somthign i'd expect.

Is it worth the risk of getting hurt again? i guess that's the problum i am' stuggling wiht i guess. if it will help i want too..... but if it makes it worse i don't want too.

i dk ifn a few days i'll probly be hatting her and pissed again and not ever want to see her but then the same shit comes back. If i could just ask ....maybe it would stop comming back.

I think those are wise words from bob and StillSearching.

prison

If i could just ask ....maybe it would stop comming back. Maybe, but it probably won't

i left out the a in please... i'm sorry ......... i dk wtf i was thinking i know this is pointless sorry

i'm sorry ......... i dk wtf i was thinking i know this is pointless Don't worry about it man. There have been countless times when I've thought about going up to my parents and asking them why the fuck they hate me so much... I remember I even tried it and got a simple reply of "we don't hate you, don't be ridiculous" ...So I can understand why you want some answers.... I'd love some answers to, but I don't know if you or me will ever get them...

Well, if you have talked with you head doc, and you can work it out in yourself, and KNOW that you can deal with whatever she says, I still wouldn't go see her.They have this really cool thing called mail. That might be a better option. Your not gonna see her face to know if she is lying or whatever, but maybe, IF you REALLY think you need to ask...Put it on a page and read it on a page.But yeah, that could be a REALLY painful move either way to contact her.

That works really well. I used to deal with alot of stuff like that. NOW, as I am going through things, I read some of those, and think how silly, stupid or occasionally how smart, something was then, and am glad that I didn't send it off. (The smart stuff could have kept me in bad situations longer!)

Now, it is wonderful to sit at the fire place old pains get gobbled up by pretty flames....

Do you think it helps to, after writing it, rip that letter to bits of shreds angrily? My fourth grade teacher used to tell me that, but I've never, ever tried it. I've only written but never ripped.

I suppose it is different for everyone, but for me, it is later, after I have muddled through whatever it was.Some of the things I am burning now, are as much as 10 years old, just kept in a special binder...Two things come from that for me; First, I get to see where the heck I was then, and realize I have grown. Second, I get to burn some of those bad memories, sort of like a funeral if you will.

pepsi the letters work.. i've never sent a ltter or wrote one to rip up but i have wrote emails and never sent... i hit reply here and reply but sometimes never hit submit and then when i do i turn around and delete it (i know it gets on people nerves) but ... i dk it's better if i don't hit send / submit. my therpist is doing a wrting type therpy with me. i guess getting ur feelings out by any means (with out hurting anyone)is better than keeping it in (at least it;s wut i been told)i talked a while to pete last night ABOUT THIS AND. (sorry i hit the all caps....too lazy to go back and fix it) well.. yea and while we were talking bout this crap i relised i was just missing her (i know it's stupid and i should be shot but..yea.i'm stupid) i regreat making this thread now.

Not stupid. Don't regret it. You got something out, and didn't hurt anyone. YAY!We have talked about that before, no matter how pure evil someone seems, there is a bit of good in there somewhere. Those are the missed things, and that is ok. Just the good doesn't outweigh the bad. Don't go hurting yourself again, you have enough to work out without having a visit.Your doing good I think, keep it up.

I’m not going to even think about comparing what I went through in my own childhood to yours (you’re a very strong man), but I know how it feels to miss the person who hurt you very badly in a way. Although many of their actions where horrible, they did have ‘good’ moments, and those are the ones you miss.Don’t regret making this thread Caleb, for all you know it could be helping someone out there in need (someone who is feeling similar emotions and not knowing how to deal with it).