You know

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Do you see what you're doing here?

You say one thing you think is true (i.e. no ugly girls in amateur porn) and when you see that's not true, you come up with some other excuse as to why it must be true.

Let me explain a little better. A lot of times people have a hard time accepting compliments from other people. When they do receive compliments, they think that person must some alterior motive to say something about them. There must be some reason for them saying that, besides the fact that maybe they just want to be nice. This is also called "Disqualifying the Positive". I think that's kind of what's going on here with you a little bit.

You focus WAY too much on the looks of people. You focus on it so much that you can't even live your own life the way you want to! You don't realize that you can do all the things you say you want to do, but say you can't do because of your looks.

Stop focusing so much on looks and things will get better. I promise.

Does anyone here seriously know how many times ive tried to make friends, be social, be accpeted, and look cool throughout my school years just for every single year's people in my classes still look down on me, call me names, treat me bad, and never talk to me.I mean i have no guy friends at all, and thats probably one reaosn im not confident, every guy needs guy freinds to hang around.I only have friends who are girls and i have to constantly put up with them calling other guys hot and going up to them and flirting with them and they never do that stuff to me.Serious you people just dont realize "Hey! if your butt ugly, you really wont ever be accepted the way any hot person would be able to if they wanted to be accepted!"Me + every other loser (stress "loser" meaning "wanna-be-winner", not meaning someone who's a natural nerd and happy with that) is living proof of that.And there are just no "hot" losers at my school.

Someone young, other people tend to pick up the view we have of ourselves. If we think we are ugly, they will tend to go along with it and assume we are right. If we think we are good-looking, again, people around us will treat us as good-looking. It's a remarkably strong effect.

> Does anyone here seriously know how many times ive tried to make friends, be social, be accpeted, and look cool throughout my school years just for every single year's people in my classes still look down on me, call me names, treat me bad, and never talk to me

Honestly, unless your attitude changes and how you view yourself changes, you probably still won't make any friends.

Ineligable, your extremely right =/....Like, i wanna veiw myself as better...thats why i got the nose job and was so sad when the surgery fucked up and now i gotta get it fixed which has a even lesser chance of turning out good....I know a nose wont make me perfect, but i do think it would help me see myself as better looking and help me emit that feeling toward others...

Wouldn't it be more reliable to work on how you view yourself within?Especially as you yourself find that guys can be attractive without good looks.

Im just going to reply to this first post. I'm too lazy to read the next 50!  Quote:I'm 17, a guy, a complete virgin, never had a lasting girlfreind, Hmm... When I was 17 I was first starting college. I lost my virginity at the age of 15 to someone who fucked me over.. had sex with about quite a few people by the time I was your age. When I was 17 I never had a lasting boyfriend either.. i was pretty depressed and "emo" feeling.  Quote: im ugly as fuck, Bad attitude to have. 1. You spoke earlier about never having a lasting relationship. Guys are NOT attracted to guys with a poor attitude like that.2. When you say things like this you really start to believe them.. I honestly don't believe you are ugly as fuck.  Quote: no one's ever "loved" me beforeEver heard of unconditional love? Me and my dad have a horrible, horrible, horrible relationship but there is NO doubt in my mind that he loves me.. my friends love me.. my extended fam. I'm sure your parents fell in love with you the moment they laid their eyes on you.  Quote: i get picked on everyday and bitched out by GIRLS at my school who hate me and think im a complete loser, my parents don't beleive me when i explain that my school life sucks and i wanna be homeschooled, they say "oh i think your imagining things i bet you really do have freinds"Maybe it's time for a change. Honestly... have you considered switching schools? This could turn your life around.. it did for me!  Quote: and my parents also don't beleive in anti-depressents cuz they think they're drugs, You should speak to your parents about seeing a councelor or something. Something like this could help you out alot knowing there is someone educated in that field to help you out.  Quote: I wanna be a singer when i get older because im an amazing lyricist and songwriter but my voice sucks and it sounds like a drucken hillbilly hick That is a GREAT inspiration to have. You just said you are an amazing lyricist and songwriter. Those people make major cash flow!  Quote:but the restrictions they put on me is emotional abusing enough What kind of restrictions?? Im sure they are only looking out for me. My parents were fairly strict but loosened up when I was about 18-19... they were only strict because they wanted to protect me. My cousin died when I was young and that put the fear in them.  Quote:I need someone to come along! No one is going to want to come along if you only focus on the negative.. can you point out a few good things for me? I'd love to talk to you about them. (Please feel free to PM me.. ANYTIME.. seriously. I will be here if you need someone)  Quote: And i dont want to grow up and do a job that no one appriciates.Like working in a factory.Focus on your music! Focus on what inspires you in life and what makes you happy  Quote: It sucks that my best freind who literally has like a perfect life is out there street racing, risking his life all the time just to have fun, and not even caring about his own life, when his life would be one I would love to have, and he could simply give it away and not care....I hate people like that... Tell your friend to smarten up! Im pretty sure theyre working on a law here in canada that if you get caught street racing they smash your car with a bulldozer (?) Not ttoo sure but I heard about it!!Again, plz feel free to PM me!

I never said i thought ugly guys could be attractive...I said that if your not the best looking thing on earth, as long as you have SOME good things....a couple good face features, being skinny at least, and a semi-good style, you can be attractive.But if your butt ugly and completely opposite of anything people find attractive, i dont think you have a chance.

How about girls who are attracted to men with a bald head? I know Many girls who find a chubby guy attractive.

Well being bald, as like someone who's a biker or something, like shaved they're head, is considered a attractive thing i guess. It sorta represents a 'bad ass' type of thing, and girls like that. But being bald on purpose or because of old age doesnt happen or get attractive till older ages, not teenagers. So thats not really connecting to my situation.And some girls do find chubby guys attractive. But even those chubby guys the girls like probably have good faces, im sure there'd be someone of equal weight with a bad face that a girl would find ugly. Like i said, its all in the face.

You seem to know everything about what girls like.And you don't fit that perfect description. Looks like you're doomed forever.

ur best bet is to get some confidence

Everybody is different , what may seem depressing for you may not be for someone else , everybody has thresholds and different niggles that upset them .... ok and now i will reply you ...

Physical looks and so on -
I am a dead cert. non believer in looks , i think its unimportant la da da if you have got a good personality friends will come to you :smile:

Emotionally -
Your a lyricist , your good at it , it makes you happy , then go after it , just because you can't sing isn't important , why not be a songwriter and write songs which others can perform ... or be like andrew lloyd webber !

Friends: Sometimes its easier to take a backseat and claim to have no friends than to actually try and make friends ! Why not join the school newspaper or something ? If you like writing things , it might give you an oppurtunity to meet new people . I know its tough to watch people leave , and if they are true friends you will always keep in touch !

Girls can be bitchy there is no doubt about it , but erm not all girls are the devils sister , why not find some quieter ones , look to them for friendship not just a relationship , sometimes having a good friend can completely turn your life around, and friends stay with you girlfriends will change (until you get married and find mrs right ).

Running away is really not an option though , if you run away from it , the next time you will do the same , and it will come back to bite ya , ya gotta take the bull by the horns , and win !

Tor x

Well no matter what, I generall want friends/girlfreinds I feel comfortable and connecting around. Generally, preppy, urban, country, or conservative girls I don't feel comfy around at all. Music tastes, styles, things they talk about, social things, and hobbies those types of people are into are completely different from mine.I feel more comfortable talking to girls who belong to more of a scene, rocker, goth, skater, tomboy or druggie clique, because these people generally like the same music i do, and talk about things i know about, and generally don't do school sponsored activities which isn't something im into either, plus these types are alot more laid back (like not as stict on things like manners or sexual subjects) and are more willing to find things like sex a normal part of a relationship or even freindship. Pretty much, im not really that picky becuase my type of people is probably about 50% of the population and generally speaking, I wouldn't be any more "cool" to preppy people than rocker/skater people because I simply don't "look" cool. You know, (taking two examples of famous teen actors), you could take Shia LaBouf and um (not a actor) any guy from the band The Jonas Brothers and dress them both in the same exact clothing outfit, and make it something sorta cool "rock star" ish and who'd look cooler in it? Definatly ona the band guys cuz Shia LaBouf just doesn't look "cool", and its quite reflective of that in many of the movies and shows he's played in.You can even look on TV. You know, TV and Movies don't cast people equally. If a role calls for somoene nerdy/dorky/loserish, the show casts someone who NATURALLY looks a bit nerdy, and if they want a popular cool person, they cast someone who naturally looks that. And if life was a TV show, I'de be casted as the loser/maybe even a special ed person.I mean honestly, unless you ona the rare few who can put up with becoming a famous actor by play roles of ugly people because you are butt ugly (ex. the guy who played wormtail on Harry Potter/Beadle on Sweeney Todd/Queen's sidekick on Enchanted), you don't see horrendously ugly people becoming famous while showing their face. They always become songwriters writing for other people, or doing voice-overs for cartoons, or just doing SOMETHING behind the scenes. I want to become successful while people actually knowing who i am and showing my face, EX. Singing, Acting, Inventing, Writing, Hosting (like a TV show), Politician, Comedian, Musician, Model, Chef (on tv?), News Reporter, Interviewer, ect. I've always saw my future in that sort of critique, but I've always been embarrased about my face and i feel like none of those things can happen with how i look, and even the people i want to meet and know and be with seem out of reach for me just because of looks.