I finally did it.

---

Quote:but she shouldnt "forget about men" completely. Ugh, for Christ's sake, I didn't meant completely. Why don't you ask if you're not sure. I thought it was clear enough.  Quote:if she takes this word for word as my ex did she'll become desolate from her peers and distance herself from her family.Complete bull.  Quote:i do feel i can relate a bit better about this then most, seeing as how i witnessed its repercussions first hand. and i know what it can do to a person. Your ex isn't this young lady. Two different people. Please stop relating.  Quote:her mother had a husband, but left him cause she couldnt forgive him of his past. now shes single about 45 yrs old, partying and drinking. she sees her children roughly 2 times a month.That doesn't prove a single thing.  Quote:now OP let me ask you something, in 20 years, do you want your daughter going/graduating college, and only you being there, do you want to answer why it is that she has no father or father figure (im not talking about her biological father but just a man that she can call daddy and bug her for money and such) Maybe because her father wasn't good enough to be a father? These sorts of situations are always a case-by-case basis. You can't lump ALL fatherless families together. Now that's ignorance.Maybe this will be clear enough, if not, then I can't help you: This young lady does NOT need a man in her life right now. She needs to get back to school and focus on her future. When the time is right, when she gets her life back on track, then she can either work it out with her baby's father or find another man.However, don't be stupid to think that the baby MUST have a father to be happy and healthy. Is it nice to have a whole family, yeah sure. But this is life, and life is not that simple. Stop trying to play soothsayer in saying that her baby is going to suffer without a father in her life. There's no point. All you're doing is putting unnecessary ideas in the OP's head.Maybe when you grow up also, you'll understand as well.Please reread what my good friend said. He said it better than I could... Originally Posted By: rvbapocalypseI'll concede that its not an ideal situation, and it is generally good for a child to have both a male and female input to their growth, I stress the word generally, if the father was a jerk, or if there is no more conection between the parents, then I believe its healthier for the child to be raised by a single parent.

.................... AhhhhhhhTell it like it is girl.....

This young lady does NOT need a man in her life right now. She needs to get back to school and focus on her future. When the time is right, when she gets her life back on track, then she can either work it out with her baby's father or find another man.thats clear, and thats what i was saying stupid!and virtual, did you grow up with 2 parental figures?i didnt, so yes i know ROUGHLY what its like, as was said before, it is a case by case type scenario,but there are things in general that single parent children can relate to.as a man, its hard not having a father to play catch with etc. the little things fucked me up the most.as a women, (both of my sisters perspectives) it was hard not having there father to defend them, and give them advice about men. even growing up they wished our dad woulda been there to tell her that she cant date boys, or be out late, or any FRIVOLOUS statements, that most other people disregard.now who the fuck knows whether or not her daughter will grow up straight without a father figure, but then again who knows whether or not she wont without one.those 2 things are both situations that you cant predict nor I, but what im saying NOW, is that, its BEST and easiest to raise a child with at least a father figure, whether it be an uncle, cousin, or moms boyfriend, someone that treats her like a daughter.it eliminates so many ifs for the future.now just leave me alone virtual, whatever, you talk about me clarifying what i say, why dont you clarify what the hell you say.you said and i quote  Quote: FORGET ABOUT GUYS next time u give advice. at least so you wont be a hypocrite, say "FOR NOW," or "AS OF NOW"-PEACE

Quote:next time u give advice. at least so you wont be a hypocrite, say "FOR NOW," or "AS OF NOW"Why am I not surprised?I clearly said "relationships can wait".That doesn't mean "give them up forever". It's pretty straightforward.Sigh...

Obviously it's only you and cooldawg who have trouble understanding what was meant by "forget about guys". It would be moronic if anyone meant forever which it wasn't. Sheesh

but if we take it word for word like that, who's to say she wont?

Word for word? What part of "can wait" are you having trouble understanding?Obviously, no one else is having trouble with this but yourself. I don't believe the OP will misunderstand also.Why don't we just stop here and just let her take it how she wants. Stop trying to twist my words into something that it's not and I'll stop trying to help you understand. Either way, it's going no where.

Hi guys i havent been on here for awhile,i was spending time with my daughter before she left with my aunty for santo domingo.Anyway i saw the comments and i appreciate it,thank you guys,also i want to know do you guys argue about everything?Next i am swearing of men and love and being alone is not so bad am learning to like it. I dont want child support and i am not going to file for it,am pretty comfortable coming from a large family. My daughter does not need her father to act like one,she has my brothers,my father,my uncles and my grandfathers,she is not going to grow up with only one parent since my aunty and my uncle will be adopting Hosanna as their own. I did get a test done because like someone said condoms are not always effective I am fine and healthy. I got family planning.Also i don`t need to get married and i do not want no man taking care of me and my daughter,am independant and i for one as a black young woman do not like the idea of depending on no man.I am going back to school to get my degree and become a docter and also to major in forensic science. Right now I am completing an essay on the dangers of sex at a young age and the risks of aids,stds and teenage pregnancy which will qualify to win an award.I hope this answers all your questions and if there is anything else you guys need to verify you can send me a PM.THANK YOU.

Quote:I don't wanna be an ass here, but you definitely need to be married before you even plan on having kids. I can understand when the baby's an accident, but I would have 100% trust with the person before I ever even slept with them. It's the only safe bet if you're husband ends up leaving you, because you can get child support. If you have a child when you're just boyfriend and girlfriend you're shit outta luck if he leaves you. I just want to clarify, you do NOT need to be married to get child support. The man is financially responsible either way. And states are really cracking down on deadbeat dads.I also want to add that I agree with Virtual and the others about putting guys/relationships on the back burner. I was a 16 year old single mother and I had no one. No parents, no guy, no one. And it was the best thing for me. I finshed school, got myself straightened out and I live a great life now. I own my own home, own my own cute little '04 Toyota, have a couple dogs. I'm in a relationship, but it's not the greatest. Other than that I couldn't ask for anything more.

Well I seem to think there's a reason why one of the rules of A2A is to never attempt to meet any member here in person. hahaha I could just picture this big circle of people turning into a giant brawl. Then we'd all go home and resume talking to each other on the internet like nothing happened.

I foresee more of a two section gathering.
one group arguing, the other in a giant orgy.

Except in the form of a Venn Diagram.

hmmmmm which group will i choose to go with...

*ponders*

pulls Ashley into the orgy group For some reason, I see the A2A fighting group as Peter and that chicken from Family Guy. giggle

Originally Posted By: DxLISHxISx_43For some reason, I see the A2A fighting group as Peter and that chicken from Family Guy. giggle ROFL!! I can totally see it!

oh i love family guy,i can`t stand peter but yet i love him.And that episode was the greatest.

Good ! Girl... you DO NOT need that bullshit!

Find a man who RESPECTS you!