Ok. So today was the first time I had sex. Yes I'm 22 it took me a while but I had religious beliefs before and I dont anymore.Anyway I will give a little bit of info about me and see if you guys can tell me what the heck happened and what to do.I'm 22 years old, i never actually had penetration before today but I've had oral sex etc etc.I have stopped lately but I used to masturbate A LOT. 3 or so times a day. I also used to have a strong case of false phimosis but with stretching exercises it has gotten a lot better.The thing is when I masturbated I used to do it really fast and really hard so that I could come.Here's my story I'm sorry if this is a long post I just want to give as much detail as I can.The first time I got a BJ it was really good but I felt like I was losing my erection during it. I've never had any problem having an erection up until today.I've been sort of dating 2 girls. There's one girl that I just like to have fun around and we make out and stuff and the other one might just be my next girlfriend.Yesterday I was with one of the girls and we made out for a long time and I was pretty hard but we didn't have sex. I came home and did nothing about it.I guess today i had a mild case of "blue balls" or whatever is called. So Today I went out with this new girl and we were making out in the car and we were having a lot of fun, but then a lot of things happened, the police came by, i had a fight with my parents.So I had a lot of things on my mind, but still I was very horny and so was she so we decided to get a room. (note that this was the first time I was going to have sex and the first time I was going to a motel room)Everything was going very well and I was pretty excited, then all of a sudden when I was going to get oral sex it went flaccid and It wouldn't work O.oI don't know what was it, maybe it was the pressure. I only had breakfast around 9am and didn't have lunch and it was about 4pm. I was nervous cause it was my first time.So the girl was really comprehensive, she felt bad because she felt she didn't excite me. (honestly she doesn't excite me as much as the other girl but she does get me on!)Anyway. I waited a while, I tried to relax and then I finally started to get hard again. I had to help myself with my hand stroking it all the time so that I would remain hardThis is the second problem. After a little bit we started having sex again and it was really good but I started losing it and it went down again. After all this time she was having trouble getting wet and stuff so we stopped trying. My testicles hurt a lot but I managed to get myself hard and with her help I came and my testicles still bother me even though I already ejaculated.I feel like I lack sensitivity or something and that's why it goes limb. I also used to watch a lot of porn so maybe I had this idea in my head that it was going to be different. I don't know what to do. I don't want it to happen again. I want to be able to keep an erection for as long as I want to.It's hard for me to come unless I jerk myself off in an exact way or speed but I don't mind having a hard time to ejaculate as long as I can keep it up !!!.I need your help guys. What can I do? I'm only 22 years old I shouldn't have erectile dysfunction pd: right now I feel sort of warm, my testicles are sore and i feel sort of sick O.o (that might be cause i haven't eaten yet)I always have 3 healthy meals everyday and keep a balanced diet.
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22 Virgin - Problems with Erection on my first tim
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By the way I wasn't using a condom The girl takes birth control pills...Just wanted to clear that up.
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Quote:It's hard for me to come unless I jerk myself off in an exact way or speed but I don't mind having a hard time to ejaculate as long as I can keep it up !!!. I think there are several things going on here.1. You have trained your body to get off with masturbation, which is very different from real sex.2. This was a first time and first times are frequently not good, especially when there is apprehension about "performing."3. The episode with the police, etc. probably did noting to set the mood.So what do you do? Try, try and try again. But not with the mindset that "I'm going to have sex." Just relax and let it happen. Spend time on foreplay, without any thought of where it might lead. Set up private opportunities where you two are alone and unlikely to be disturbed. Lay off the masturbation and channel your sexual energies toward your girlfriend. Let your penis get used to her touch, etc. rather than your own.Don't have any expectations and you will find the most amazing things will happen.As Old Folks says in another thread, "Make the journey the game and don't just focus on the orgasm."
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Thank you for what you just told me. It really puts me at ease...I will keep trying.I will lay off the masturbation entirely and I won't watch porn anymore...I think there were too many things bothering me today just like you said. And I think I had "performing anxiety"What can I do so that I start enjoying penetration more(she was tight!).I've been reading about it and it says that I should try to focus on every single feeling and the enjoyment of my partner.I will keep that in mind. I have trained my body you are right, but I honestly wouldn't mind not getting off as long as I could keep it hard!. so to recap:I will stop masturbating and watching porn entirely. I will let go of everything, set up a time where i won't be disturbed I will let go of my expectations. Anything else?
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I think letting go of expectations is important. What you're going through is in fact quite common. Nervousness about not being able to get hard is self-fulfilling. So you shouldn't try for penetration, or anything that needs you to be hard, but just enjoy caressing and getting her off with your hands and tongue, and your powers will gradually come back.
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what everyone has said is very true. All I can add as a matter of reassurance that you're normal is to say that, after considerable experience, I can still get first time jitters. Not to mention that I can also still become distracted by concerns about this and that. These are relatively normal things.
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Originally Posted By: unsupervisedwhat everyone has said is very true. All I can add as a matter of reassurance that you're normal is to say that, after considerable experience, I can still get first time jitters. Not to mention that I can also still become distracted by concerns about this and that. These are relatively normal things. What Mr. U said. In fact I'll go him one better I've even got jitters a couple times after being married for years. It's normal and will pass. Don't focus on it.
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Thank you all for you replies, this really gives me a lot of confidence and I know that next time I will be fine :). Since after a while i was able to get it up next time I won't have any problem at all..I found this board that had like 20 pages I'll post the link in case someone finds this questionhttp://forums.wrongdiagnosis.com/showthread.php?t=8227&page=9A few things I will do after reading all of that.stop watching pornstop masturbating at all, and if i do it'll be with just like 2 fingers and very very softly to get my sensitivity back.do kegelsnot focus on keeping it up/hardfocus on her pleasure and the pleasure i'm giving herpenetrate at peek erection pointI really think its the sensitivity thing that's messing with me, i used to have false-phimosis and with stretching exercises it has gotten way better and it'll keep getting betterAny other advice on how to get my sensitivity back?
