Hey all

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Hey this is my first post here..too bad its going to be a sad one lol.Okay this is how it is...I have the absouletly the worst love and sex life on the planet. Also some other things are wrong but there are only minor things..which are improving slowly. All my life...i had bad luck with girls. Everytime id get the courage to ask someone out, she would turn me down or laugh or make an excuse..then be with another guy a week later..Im not an ugly guy..if anythin im decent looking and even cute..as told by my female friends (who wont go out with me lol) i know these turndowns wasnt due to popularity too..since i hate to brag..i was one of the popular guys at school..and one of the best basketball players in the school..even better then 80% of the basketball team. seems hard to belive but yeah..its true..even guys who seem to have it all have problems.. i aint fat at all.i got a good build..anyway...im 20 years old now...and my luck with girls got worse. im also a 20 year old virgin who never even did anythin with a girl..pathetic isnt it...my love life got me so depressed and it keeps gettin worse. i cant understand it..im a nice guywith guy with decent looks and a alright body..it almost like i got a curse on me...and it feels like ill be alone forever...and day by day i keep becoming more depressed..i dont know what to do...Also bein a 20 year old virgin is tough..specially when ur friends bother ya about it... i cant help but feel this is what im destined to remain..

Im sure some of you might think "so..not a big deal" but it is..because my love life keeps getting worse and i dont want to die alone. its makin me feel really depressed.

Die alone? You're only 20.. I don't have any real advice except that you are young and things will happen when you least expect it.

I know. im young but just my luck with the girls is so bad and it keeps getting worse ..its like im cursed or soemthing.

There is also the fact knowing Im not very experienced with girls. so even if i found someone id have no clue how totreat her good and stuff....and dont know how to treat her good sexually. know what i mean? that gets me too ..that depresses me since i want to be able to make a girl happy.

First off welcome and secondly that name seriously kicks some ass. Metallica is the sickest shit around. I gotta give you a hand for that name. Keep up the good work.

lol thanks..metallica is awesome. I like the picture below your signature..its awesome.

Well, metallica20, I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was nearly 22, and now she is my wife. And I discovered she'd liked me for some time but I hadn't noticed.

Working out how to treat her well is something you'll pick up. It doesn't really matter what age you start at.

You seem like a nice bloke hun so don't worry it will happen when you least expect it that's usually the case. Have you got any close female friends who would give you some honest answers about yourself and what they think?

Yep i do actually...every girl i know tells me im the most kindest sweetest funniest guy they know.one girl even called me the most amazing guy out there.and that im cute...or decent lookin..and that i will find someone really great soon since i totally deserve it..just it doesnt feel like that.oh in cae ur wondering...i went for those girls already..then turned me down lolbut thanks for ur advice everyone...it helps..

My current boyfriend just turned 22, and I'm his first girlfriend ever. He'd kissed one girl once on this lips before me... and yes, he too thought he'd "die alone." I know everyone says "just give it time" and it's not what you want to hear... but it's really the only thing you can do. In regards to being able to treat a girl right... emotionally and romantically, you don't need to be experienced to know how to treat a woman with respect. On some level, it's common sense... but also, look to male figures in your life and see how they treat their significant others... I see how my dad treats my mom (they've been happily married for 34 years now)... and I see how my brother treats his girlfriend... and it gives me a cue on how I should be treated... I see the respect they give to the women they love, and I see that I deserve that too... So treating a girl right has nothing to do with experience... though you will pick up on more once you get out there.As far as treating the girl right sexually... I think people freak out too much that there's this magical way to do things... If you have a basic knowledge of sexuality, then you'll be fine... Every woman is different, so they'll usually tell you or show you what feels good anyway... Maybe you won't be the next Ron Jeremy, but that doesn't mean you can't bring anything to the table... When my boyfriend lost his virginity, it was a very big deal... I know... being a virgin until your 20's when you don't want to still be a virgin can be rough... Yes, he and I have sex... but it's not the be-all and end-all... Now that he's lost his virginity, he's calmed down some and sees sex as just another aspect of a relationship rather than this huge deal...Hopefully some of that helps somewhat?

Yeah it helped a fair amount.thanks. . how did you and that guy meet? i wish a girl would come sooner though...because as the years go by i get more sad and sad that im alone. but thanks for ur advice..helped out.

We go to the same college... He's a bit of a loner, but we have the same major, so I have classes with him sometimes... I pursued him... There's no way he ever would have pursued me... his childhood was very messed up (no friends AT ALL, suicidal tendancies, divorced parents, REALLY screwed up relationship with his mom, etc)... and it's definitely effected his social life... The one girl he kissed was a girl he met online originally... He's from NY... for HIS 21st birthday, he went down to Tennessee to see her and she blew him off and never showed up. When he called her (while in TN), she basically said she didn't want to see him... needless to say, he had a very shitty birthday... and b/n that and his bad relationship w/ his mom, he has trouble trusting women... He figured he'd end up alone.. die alone.. etc..

It just takes time. I know it sucks to wait.. but it's not the be all and end all... and you want to make sure when you get into a relationship, it's b/c you WANT that person.. not b/c you NEED that person to fill some kind of void... b/c then you're with her for the wrong reasons... I did that my senior year in high school with my first "serious" boyfriend... we both needed each other more than we wanted each other... it filled the void for a little bit, but I realized a few years later that it's a REALLY bad reason to be with someone...

Okay right now i am really over the edge. i feel so fucken depressed and angry.I was at a party. big party..and i was having a good time. and this girl came along..wow..once in a thousand years..she showed a little interest in me..a little..then my bro see's this...gets jealous..takes her away from me..then at the end of the night is makin out with her.and is now with her...i feel like goin crazy.....you see this is an example of luck i got.....thats why i feel ill be alone forever ..(which i probably will be..alone forever....) Eevery rare time somethin slightly good happens its ripped from me!!! I CANT TAKE TI ANYMORE!!!! i wish i was dead... i know il be alone forever

actually exclude the i wish i was dead part...i was drunk last night and feelin angry and stuff so. Yeah i feel better after som rest. still sad though...

Hey there.I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I read your post earlier but I didn't know what to say. Well, hang in there. Things will get better.Good luck, ~ Ivy

I'm going to say something I've said numerous times, metallica20. Whatever you put into the universe eventually comes back to you.

Okay..right now i feel really depressed. My friend aint around...and those who are online that i can talk too..wont talk to me right now for some reason. But...im feelin like i want to die. i know girls dont like guys who think like that..but its thier fault..if only they had given me chances...not just girls but a few other things have been gettin me..but i wont get into that....girls is the major thign right now..i just feel like ill be alone forever...and it seems like so...By the way sephiroth.what do u mean...what you put in the universe comes back at ya?

The problem is, you're looking for someone - anyone - who will throw a glance your way... A girl isn't going to want to be with you if she knows you wanted her just b/c she wanted you and no other reason... A girl isn't going to want to be with a guy who will take whatever he can get.I have several friends my age (early 20's) who have never dated before... some who haven't even really kissed someone yet... Does it suck? Depending on how you look at it, yeah... But I say to you what I've said to them... you can't expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself first. If you're depressed and putting yourself down all the time and talking about wanting to die, how can you expect someone to come along and fall in love with that??? You need to realize that being in a relationship isn't everything. There's more to you than that... You said the girl problem is the main thing wrong in your life, which means there's probably a lot of good things going on too... look at those... YOU need to be a whole person on your own, by yourself... You shouldn't need someone else to make you happy. Once you realize that, THEN you're ready for a relationship.

I know..its just..whenever i like a girl. she doesnt want to bother with me..no girls i ever liked, liked me back. I dont just go aftr any girl who looks at me...i aint like that...but whenever i like a girl....no mater what i do or how sweet i be..she only wants to remain friends and such...it makes me sad.Yeah your right...girls dont want to be with a guy who keeps puttin himself down but i put myself down because of the bad luck i been having...i mean...try bein the only guy out of all your friends to never have anyone...or let alone anyone like ya...i just dont want to be alone forever.