Actually, that (AIM LOW) is pretty good advice. But not low in terms of looks; low in terms of expecting to get laid right off the bat. You might want to think about cultivating a friendship with a woman, and forget about the sex part for now. Minger, it's like you're trying to run a sprint, and you can barely walk. You need to learn how to talk to a woman before worrying about getting laid.This "ugly" crap is just not plausible. I don't believe you.
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Okay people here are PHOTOS of me, 'Ugly Minger'
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I don't log on for two days and this is what happens...the same thing UM obviously doesn’t listen to the advice of those who are trying to help. I am starting to wonder if he wants to be helped. What it seems is that he secretly wants to be confirmed in his convictions but what it boils down to, as stated earlier, is that he gets angry with those who do agree with him. The truth to me is that I don't know if he will take the time to grow. When told that he can change and things can get better he didn't seem to care that it was for himself. UM, that is the problem. You don't give a damn about yourself in the emotional and probably the spiritual sense. On the outside that boils down to confidence but on the inside that can create shallowness or depression. The girls that matter can sense it miles away. You are alienating yourself from the people who care, especially if this is the way you are around your friends. If you truly want to succeed take time to reflect on these posts from those who are trying to help. And by time I don't mean the few minutes in reading the posts, I mean days, weeks, months, and maybe years. If you don't you will have nothing and lose what you do currently have. That is what I believe you are totally missing out on as of now.To no1-"And lastly, must be aware of what's going on in the world. Need to be able to have a decent conversation with him. "Is that lastly as in the last thing that matters? Either way, I don't know many people that have a clue as to whats going on in the world anyway. Good luck with that one.
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In reply to:Do us all a favor and take this advicve: AIM LOW!!!Er, I never said in any post of my two topics that I aimed for the hot gitls only for christ's sake. You just think I do because I keep mentioning them!The fact is I don't, I try to go for the 'average' girls as it is, still no luck cause apparently I'm a 'freak' or their bitches of friends don't approve.
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Then you're looking at the wrong girls. Don't look for the girls who need a gaggle of gal pals to tell them who they should be with. To me it really does seem like you're aiming for the qoute un qoute "hot girls" because that's all you see to be able to talk about. Forget about them, you don't need a hot chick hanging on your arm when you're at a club. Why go for something that will be gone in a few years anyways? Looks aren't everything, so quit making them out to be the only thing people care about.
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In reply to: Well this is just rich isn't it cenfath. You claim that you dated the "hot" guys at school, and you say their attitudes were a total turn-off. You say your ex-bf's are now my ex's because they were dicks, arrogant, pompus, put you down and treated me like dirt. You see you say all that...but yet you still REFUSED to date the 'average'/'ugly' guys. How very rich. I didn't REFUSE to date an "average/ugly" guy. They never asked me and they never got to know me. They just assumed I would be a brat. The thing about these "hot" guys was that they came across as being nice and they turned out to be jerks. Get real with yourself before you start trying to slap me in the face with "how rich". In reply to: You say who cares if some "18 year old hottie with a boob job thinks you're not the best looking thing to hit the shelf.". Well I bet YOU WOULD CARE IF THE HOT GUYS DIDN'T THINK YOU'RE NOT THE BEST LOOKING THING TO HIT THE SHELF, meaning you wouldn't have been able to date the hot guys you say you have. I wonder what your attitude would've been like if you weren't ever able to date any hot guys and remain a virgin at 25 years old. Christ some people just don't realise what they've got until they get facially screwed in an accident or something..... Bah...Hooey...I am NOT the best looking girl in the world. I have a scar in the cleft of my upper lip from being hit in the face with a softball. I have a scar on the side of my face from where I was hit with a bat. I have a scar in the middle of my forehead from when I had the chicken pox I also have a scar to the side of my left eye where my aunt's cat attached herself to my face because my aunt's ex-husband scared the poor thing. Because of it my left eye is noticeably smaller than my right when I smile. I have a scar to the side of my nose from a fist fight I got into as a freshman in high school (I won by the way.) I also have a scar on the back of my neck from an accident that involved me, my brother and broken glass. So don't talk to me about whether or not I'm "good looking" I think I would know better than you. And dude I had braces up until my junior year of high school. You wanna talk about unattractive...having a mouth full of metal doesn't exactly score points with anyone. You wanna know what did it for most of the guys I dated? I didn't give a flying hoot what they thought of me. I'd go to school in my pajama's, no makeup, with my hair in a pony tail. Yep..that meant all the scars were showing. Makeup is a good thing for covering things up. Should I move on to the scars that I have all over the rest of my body from softball and other sports related injuries and accidents I've had? I didn't think so. My body is tattered, torn, bruised and scarred. I have every reason to have the lowest self-esteem possible, but I don't. I have a bad habit of thinking that I can only attract jerks. Oh and I repeat: I could give a flying hoot whether or not some "hot" guy think I'm the greatest thing to hit the shelf (just in case you haven't got the jist of it yet). In reply to: Oh boo-hoo. You THINK you're not stunning...but you still managed to date the hot guys which I think means something. Besides, you never know yourself how attractive/or un-attractive you are. Hot guys and girls are the best judges of that. It's usually the hot guys the hurts girls. I think that just about sums you up. I think I'm the BEST judge of how good I look. No one else. Some hot guy is not the best judge of how good looking I am. Don't go off assuming that because I dated some good looking guys that you can "sum me up". Because as I've already mentioned, I'm with what YOU would call an "average" looking man. He's not average to me at all. He's taking the time to get to know me. He's not trying to get me into bed. He doesn't treat me like yesterday's garbage. I guess you could say I consider him to be my George Strait. (Hey people, I consider George Strait damn sexy for an older guy). No he's not a dead ringer for George but for your information I don't feel a bit let down when I come home to my guy at the end of the evening after being out with my girlfriends and I see someone that you refer to as hot. Whether I'm away from my guy or I'm with him, I AM the luckiest girl in the world to have him. And you can take that to the bank. Don't try summing me up because you don't know anything about me.
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The number of men in your age range that you're likely to meet in your area that meet all of your requirements is bound to be small. Then you'd have to meet their requirements, which would further shrink the pool.If your current boyfriend meets those requirements, then you'd better hang onto him. If you're single in another 20 years, I guarantee that your standards will drop.It reminds me of the Dilbert cartoon, where he was asked about his rquirements in a girlfriend. He wan't too picky, but she had to be a ballet dancer.
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Spent last thirty minutes or so reading some old threads, and those issues keep coming up again and again.Mostly it looks like a guy starts to blame wrong things. Instead of finding out where the real problem lies, they go and start blaming something that they CANNOT change. Like looks. Well, of course you could pick up more healthy lifestyle and use the comb more often, but it is easier to blame their looks, than their personality for the reason why they cant find anyone.But for the good of me and for the good of other people who try to help others in this forum, there are guys who are more open and are more ready for all sorts of suggestions. Minger is not a man like that.Its interesting though. I also read a thread that was kinda a shrine to the nice guys.You know what? Im writing here though I should write there but didnt want to dig the old thread up.The concept of nice guys is taken wrong and misunderstood. It took me a while to understand WHY "nice guys finish last". This is wrong. I was one of those nice guys who finished last, this best friend material. This is a matter of honor, at least for me it is. Kinda this sort of personality that you really dont find in this world easily anymore. This sort of "modern knight". But no matter what "finishing last".However, thanks to some friends of mine (one of them who is a girl, and perhaps one of the few people who knows more of me than so many others), I did finally see the solution.The key difference is that nice guys tend to neglect sexuality.And sexuality is one of the things that does not ruin the nice guy image. But it can turn that nice guy into a bf material.Its not like its really hard or anything. Im going to be harsh and rude now, but FCK IT, just tell the girl she looks sexy, and not just "beautiful beautiful beautiful" all the time. I mean, you can be a nice guy, and can remain a nice guy but if the girl doesnt see any sexual energy coming from you, you shall forever be the nice-guy-finishing last.Its not like knights of the round table didnt get girls, so just dont get the concept and priorities of "nice guyness" wrong.For me it IS a matter of honor. Im a strong person, but always a gentleman. I also know that I have this sort of mental influence over people, for people tend to trust me easily, and open up to me if I just try a bit. Im this "best friend" to two good-looking girls who are both slightly younger than me. For me it is the matter of honor, being able to "be there when a dame needs". After I got through that "finish last" stage, where I did think all this was true, then now, at this moment, I LOVE being this "best friend" to two special people like that. Its sad to see how many nice guys think this is something silly. It isnt. But I understood that only after I opened myself up also in sexual ways to girls. This does not kill the "nice guy" lifestyle. It only shows the girl that you can not just be her best friend, but you can also perhaps be her mate for the life.But hey, Minger is not one of those nice guys, so it wont help him. But I thought itd help others.Mingers problem is just confusing me more and more I try to read into it. But I do believe and will stand by my opinion that he blames his looks so he doesnt have to do anything to improve his situation since he wants to believe his looks are the thing that keeps girls away from him. Its really his personality, and until the moment he accepts that, nothing we could say here will not help.Well, of course if looks do bother him, and he needs to overcome that "hole", then jogging or riding with a bike does NOT hurt, since it gets him fit.Since Im slightly overweight, I do ride a bike twice a day, and do regular body-building exercises. When it doest help so much in looks, it helps in confidence as far as looks are concerned. I know Im never going to be a Tom Cruise or the likes, at least I can feel myself better.And with confidence, damn, dont believe me, but mountains have been moved.But yeah, to make it short and simple. Minger, Your personality is the problem and looks are the smallest thing You need to worry about.I was "forced" to discuss this with the girl tonight, who was here last night when I replied, and he couldnt really believe You are neglecting the replies given here. She said that this will be Your failure unless You get a hold of Yourself and get Your priorities straight in life.(And I just LOVE it when a girl says the exact same thing that I was trying to say)
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In reply to: ...I am NOT the best looking girl in the world. BUT u have a HOT voice. lol
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In reply to:The key difference is that nice guys tend to neglect sexuality.And sexuality is one of the things that does not ruin the nice guy image. But it can turn that nice guy into a bf material.You've hit on a very important point here. A lot of "nice guys" are not self-confident enough to show a sexual side. It does not mean jumping someone's bones. It means sending out signals that you recognize the sexual side of the woman, and that you're interested. That's the thing I was alluding to in the "Nice Guy" thread...but this is what I really meant.UM will have to get past his anger and feeling of being victimized by women before he can get anywhere.
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Yup, exactly I personally know how it affects the nice-guy thing, because I was at the same right spot.Then again, I cant really see why I neglected such a side before. I mean, there is nothing wrong with it, since its sweet and caring still.But You are right when You said its about self-confidence.I personally think that this has alot to do about how people grow up and what influences them. I think it comes really down to it in the teen period. I remember my classmates, You know, playing with girls at that age, yet I never didnt. I didnt consider it proper to do so, and since we were still just kids, there really was no other way. I was still respected as a person with strong principles, and did have my first kiss when I was a teen and I do believe the girl was madly in love, but still, sexuality was neglected. Perhaps this was the reason it never went further than just kisses.Nevertheless, I am not regretting the road Ive walked upon. Its left me more open to the beauty of mind, and thoughts. I can really get into peoples head if I want to, also really bad way (Man did I write strange plays at school, but these received always great feedback since they were so different to what other class projects put out). But also good ways, which is the important thing. So no I do not regret the decisions I personally made. This is an honest man telling you all right now, that Ive never tried a smoke nor ever been drunk. I do drink socially, but no, Im totally against shadowing my mind and thoughts.Nevertheless, it was probably a few years ago that I noticed that even though I can get along with girls really well, I didnt kiss one for two years. Seriously, I graduated and my last kiss was two years before.I of course still had those crushes, but at that age, just the mindwork and thoughts dont work with girls "that way". And I did have opportunities to take advantage of girls during couple of parties, or once had a shot to take advantage of a girl who was my friend, and I had a crush on her. I didnt do that, for one reason or another I held tight to my principles. I still do, and will never ever take advantage of situation where Im sure that the girl isnt thinking straight.But thats not the point. The point was that I understood this silly line, nice guys finish last. I finally agreed with it. I mean, I had people I knew more and better, than my classmates who didnt knew their girlfriends half as well. I did hold those relationships dear, but as a late teen You do miss the touch of a girl. Sweet and tender kiss, likewise in physical and mental way.So I knew that something's wrong, and though I struggled long under that damn load (I was afraid to really ask even my closest friends about the matter). Then I went to serve in the army for a year, which was totally masculine environment. I lost alot of my weight, but didnt really enjoy the company. Man, its not really good when theres no girl around: Guys talk so much shit. There were just some people with whom one could hold sensible conversations with. But hey, I got used to it and tried to tell myself that it wont change me. It didnt, however it did "teach" me the bigger picture of whats really going on around in the heads of other guys.I loved the military, damn, really did. Id write LONG about it, but Ill spare you the long read.Nevertheless, after coming back home again, and preparing for university, I knew that things have to go different. I was still the same man, but I had gained alot of self-confidence and flat-out started discussing this nice guy thing with two of my closest girl-friends (wanted to know their opinion and not other male-friend opinions for obvious reasons). It was kinda hard for them to talk about it, since they knew that Im the reason why Im asking this, but they did say its about this sexuality.Damn how some people are wrong if they think that sexuality is about this smoothe playboyness, licky talk or whatever. Its really not. They told me its about not just making girl feel special, which is the way of the nice guys anyway (who make a mistake by thinking that this is everything), but also making a woman feel like a "woman", a partner, which, in mating, is both ways biology and psychology.As far as looks are concerned, it doesnt matter much, but Ive talked about this already. People are different, but for a nice-guy person, to get this "girl feel special" thing done and mix it with making her feel like a woman, wekk that is perhaps the key.If nice guys understand this, then.. well, lets see how many years of relationship those partyboys can really last compared with these nice guys.. For the good of "our kind", "nice guy kind", there isnt alot of competition out there on that kind of road.But yeah, all you men, especially young folk, who consider them "nice guys" like I am, dont just neglect sexuality. If you neglect it, its the same thing, and this "lets be just friends" thing will come, because love is not just being totally commited with your heart and soul, its also being commited to the relationship as a man, and her as a woman.Anyways, this is what Ive learned so far. Still young though, so Ill "dig deeper" in the future and learn more Im sure.
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I wasn't gonna post in this thread - but i saw something funny that compelled me to do so.I don't know how it'd show up on everyone else's computers, but on mine, the Topic Reply subject is "Re: okay people here are PHOTOS of me, 'Ugly Minge"...ugly minge made me laugh. I think this is a UK saying - so for those who don't get it - a minge is a vagina. Made me laugh in my own small mind Also I wanted to cull any confusion just in case people think this guy is me - it's not. I happen to think I'm rather fetching even if no-one else does! some people around here have even told me so. Not mentioning any names but you know who you are! Now - onto the topic at hand - I didn't pay attention to the other thread, so I dunno how old "Ugly Minge" (sorry - had to be done) is...but I'm assuming it's around about my age range. I'm a virgin at 21 - sure it bugs me sometimes, but I think to myself "Hey, I can masturbate! It gives the the opportunity for sexual pleasure without having to deal with a girl nagging me!" Also it's free and you don't have to worry about whether Mr Winky is too small or big!.Get over the sex thing - you don't need it.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - my arse! If people think you're ugly, then think of it as being their problem. Find something about them that YOU think makes them ugly. Then tell them! I'm rather bitter and vengeful myself - but it makes for some amusing times!I didn't see your picture - frankly I don't wanna see them. The fact you started a thread solely about your picture is essentially the same as holding a big fluorecscent sign that says "HI! I'M PISSED OFF. PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I THINK I'M UGLY AND I EITHER WANT REASSURANCE, OR I WANT YOU TO AGREE WITH ME SO I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO SHOUT AT YOU"If you care that much - get a paper bag and use it. It worked for the man with the stick!You knew full well when starting this second thread that you'd either get people spouting the "beauty isn't only skin deep" crap, to whom you'd say "waa waa. why don't I get sex then?"oryou'd get shallow people tell you that you are ugly. To which you can then run your mouth about how they must obviously be "hot" to be able to make those comments.So - in conclusion, as some honest and genuinely helpful advice. Drop the "I'm ugly routine" It makes you ugly due to the self-loathing attitude you have. If you forget that you think you look ugly (and yes, it CAN be done, and if you can't do it - you're not trying hard enough) then you'll enjoy yourself more, and then people will notice that you're not a manic depressive self-centred ego-maniac.K?SBT out yo
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I love your posts. Theres so much that goes into them. You just summed up in a post the ideas that Casanova says to his readers. There is middle ground between a total slob/sex animal and a Saint of a Man and that seems to be the key to success in relationships. Very well put Chris. Maybe one day UM will find it and realize that the key to his success was dropping the victim role as SteveA said and start finding relationships with the right body parts: mind and heart.
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In reply to:
I love your posts. Theres so much that goes into them. You just summed up in a post the ideas that Casanova says to his readers. There is middle ground between a total slob/sex animal and a Saint of a Man and that seems to be the key to success in relationships. Very well put Chris.
Ill take this as a compliment, thanks :smirk:
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Look the kind of stereotypical teen girl I was talking about (the ones who are the bitches to me or anyone who don't look good) is the ones who are obsessed with looking like Britney Spears/Cristina Agulleira...okay over in America I think they call them 'trailer trash', but here in England we call them 'CHAVS'.I think both are the same, although I think CHAVs are worse, because they've got the 'bad-boy rapper' attitude, causing trouble everywhere they go and being complete ****s. The girls or 'chavettes' are slags and sluts, very shallow and dirty.You can find out all about them here on this site:http://www.chavscum.co.ukHave a good look. I'm sure you yanks have your fair share of them. There's far too many of them here.
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From what I've seen of "trailer trash" I'd say chavs are 1000% worse.From what I understand, trailer trash is that state because they can't do much else to help it. Low income, poor upbringing etc cause their problems, and they generally don't cause random wanton destruction.Chavs on the other hand choose to be that way. They will walk around, vandalise, set fire to, swear at, defacate on, pester, annoy etc anything they can.The best video example can be seen at www.fat-pie.com/chavs.htmNow this guy was so realistic, I thought he was a genuine chav. Turns out he's an actor - but oh boy is he 100% realistic.Chavs, I'm convinced, are the lowest form of Human life on this planet, if you can call them that.But anyway, that has nothing to do with anything. If girls like that are causing you aggro, you're no different from any other non-chav bloke. These chavettes are ALL like it, to ANYONE. Don't think you're special because you're "ugly" or something. It happens to anyone who isn't wearing burberry and a fat wad of gold chains.I disallow you from using them as a grounds for comparison.
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having taken me ages to read this I thought I would have my little opinion from a good old English bird!!I guess from the replies on here that I am shallow. I will admit to meeting a bloke for the first time and instantly judging if he is what I class as goodlooking or not. I am sorry I can't help it it just happens. I think to a certain extent it is a built in thing that we just can't help. I would have to be attracted to someone physically first before anything else i.e relationship. Every person has a different opinion of what they consider good looking to be. As mentioned before I also believe that personality plays a big part in your attractiveness to someone. If I met a gorgeous bloke with a shit attitude then I would be put off big time. If I met someone who I would not myself consider attractive but had a good personality then if I got to know him I would not discount going out with them although there would have to be some sort of attraction there. I don't think your ugly in my opinion although if I am being honest you seem to attack anyone who gives you an honest opinion so I am dreading your reply to me! If you just relax a little and try not to worry so much there will be someone out there for you! So there is my little thoughts on the subject. Lighten up a bit, smile, you are not ugly!!!Hell if we need to prove it to you get your ass here and you can come out with us and I bet you will find someone who would be attracted to you. Keep smiling xx
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You're all fucking robots. Think for yourself. Who cares about money or power or fame or women or men or anything. You fucking cunts. When you die that's it, no more life, no more anything. Just fucking live for life or kill your fucking self and shut the fuck up.
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I think we all suggest you do the latter
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Keep out of it, you goddamn foetus.
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In reply to:Hell if we need to prove it to you get your ass here and you can come out with us and I bet you will find someone who would be attracted to you. Keep smilingIf that actually happens it should be interesting what your mates have to say when they see me cramping your styles.