Omfg my friend got raped

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Holy shit one of my best girl friends got raped, im like freaking out. She thinks its her fault and she doesnt want to tell her parents and im on the phone with her now and she might have to go away for a long time. and she is saying her life is over and god idk what to do for her and see the guy who raped her is in iraq now so she doesnt know what to do. God what should i tell her to do im so fucking sad!

first thing is goto the doctor and check for any std's and possible pregnancy. 2nd tell her parents and/or the cops. It doesnt matter if the guy is in iraq or not. As long as she knows who it is he'll be easy to find. Its not her fault if it was forced on her against her will. Thats pretty much what rape is. Running away isnt going to make things easier shes just gonna have to tell someone.

I agree 100% with this post above me. It's most likely you are talking about a man in the military and if you report him they will deport him and bring him back to the U.S.A. for prosecution. Get her help and don't let her run away if that's what she wants to do, because it just makes things worse and it solves nothing. Get the parents involved and get the tests done is the way to go. Good Luck and Good Times Friend

Yah see thats what i tried saying, but this happened like 5 months ago and i just found out. And she doesnt want to take the tests because shes scared and idk her parents are kind of werid and they would say she brought it on her self and shit like that.

ehh 5 months ago, I'm guessing she's not pregnant then? well let her know that if she doesnt take the test and she has some stds on her right now waiting even longer isnt going to help any. Certain stds can mess up her reproductive system and stuff. If you are really her friend you gotta make her go get checked and make her tell her parents. Stop saying if or buts because you arent helping her at all by just sitting on your ass and complaing about what you cant do. If her parents try to blame it on her than obviously her parents are fuckheads she should probably just move out.

thats exactly what i said, i told her if she doesnt tell her parents in a week i am calling them and telling them, and i told her if her parents gave her shit for it she could move in with me. And im not joking either, im not sitting on my ass about it either

Hi I really feel for your friend poor thing. My suggestion is from personal experience please do not tell her parents unless she agrees. She may decide she wants you to tell them for her or be with her when she tells them but if she asks you not to then please respect her wishes. She may decide in the future to tell them and I do agree that the bastard should be caught and shot but she needs to go forward in her own time. She has obviously taken a big step in telling you hun and she needs to know that you support her and will not go and tell her parents if she asks you not to. I realsie this is just my opinion but it happened to me many years ago and I did not tell anyone until I met my now husband. I told my brother some years later and he went after the man and it caused me a lot of problems and threats etc etc. One day I will tell my parents but I am still not ready after all these years. You are a fab mate for sticking by her she is very lucky. Good luck

I would kill him. But definately help her its a good thing you are there for her, no matter how hard she fights you dont give up on her man you are doing the right thing.

In reply to: thats exactly what i said, i told her if she doesnt tell her parents in a week i am calling them and telling them, and i told her if her parents gave her shit for it she could move in with me. And im not joking either, im not sitting on my ass about it either i feel like that is what true friends are for.

In reply to: Poster: abc123Subject: Re: omfg my friend got raped first thing is goto the doctor and check for any std's and possible pregnancy. 2nd tell her parents and/or the cops. It doesnt matter if the guy is in iraq or not. As long as she knows who it is he'll be easy to find. Its not her fault if it was forced on her against her will. Thats pretty much what rape is. Running away isnt going to make things easier shes just gonna have to tell someone. thats ur advice.

Hey i just wanted to say thank you very much everyone for the advice. I have another question, since it happened a while ago (4 motnhs or so) could she still press charges on the guy?

im not an expert with this, but i think its too late dude.

yep she can still press charges, fair enough there won't be forensic evidence like semen samples etc, she can still charge him with the rape, and then testifiy against him in court should it go that far.

In reply to: im not an expert with this, but i think its too late dude. Of course she can still press charges. People are raped and abused as children and prosecute many years later. The only bad thing about it is, as Angel said, a lack of forensic evidence.

good example are those catholic priests that molest and rape boys when they are younger and the boys come forth like 20 years later to sue them. Anything is possible, she's just gotta have confidence and not let the otherside twist the story around to make it look its her fault.

Definately press charges, and have plenty of evidence. This stuff can't just be allowed to go by with time, press charges and get your friend checked out especially, and thank god she isnt pregnant.

Yah i feel so sorry for her to, espcally because she thinks its her fault. I was on the phone with her earlier and she was kind of crying and she said " i should have tried harder to push him off its all my fault" and that makes me so mad that she thinks it is

I was sexually assaluted (not raped but pretty close to it) and talking from exsperince, she will think it's her fault for a while. There are always those "what if", "I should have", or "I could have" running through your head after something like this has happened. You have to just be there for her and let her know you love her and that you'll be there for her through all of this. It's taken me years to finally realise what happened to me wasn't my fault, it was that cowardly bastard of a guy's (I wont call him a man because no man would do something like that, only a coward would), not mine. Just urge her to get help, go to the doctor and get checked out for STDs, and most of all just keep being the amazing friend you have been to her. Good luck my friend!

Is there some sort of rape counselling centre nearby? They can help with issues like the feeling that it's her fault (which is very common for people who have been raped), and also the issue of whether to press charges (there are stresses involved with this).

Wow, this thread...There is such a thing as Due Process. I love how y'all: 1) are hearing about this incident 5 months later, 2) are 100% taking his and her word for it, and 3) ready to kill someone who you don't know, nor have his side of the story. One person said, "she was forced against her will, that's pretty much was rape is." Yes and no. doesn't have to a she involved. Don't get me wrong. Rape is a terrible thing to do, an act I think punishable by consequences far beyond what our (america's) justice system gives. But none of us have heard from him, we're going on pure here-say...which last time I heard, doesn't hold up in the legal court system too well.