A turn of events

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Now you see why I'm confused!I kept getting all these one-word answers off her. I said I was going to bed and she said "Night, Don't worry I still like you"which was weird too.Why can't I ever meet anyone normal?

lmao. yeah, hmmmmm... I'm not sure what to think of it. There's a lot of maybes in this situation... like maybe she can feel your worry a lot and felt she had to say that or maybe that was her way of telling you that you shouldn't be going to bed. and normal is in the eye of the beholder. lol. In my eye she's not very normal either.

I thought beauty was in the eye of the beholder.In any case, Sad, you've had a lot of ups and downs. And I sincerely Amanda is right. She misses the constant attention and still wants her space. Just go ahead and give it to her. There's no quick fix to "being needy". It's just something you have to work on. When you find yourself in a situation where you think you're being to clingy back off and reassess the situation and say how I can I do this different.Good luck to you sweetie!

Thank you cenfath Again another quiet day, but I'm trying not to let it bug me

Well 24hours have no elapsed since she last spoke to me.

Am I allowed to be worried yet? :confused:

I don't know if this counts as "strict scheduling" or not.She finally messaged me today saying she'd been asleep.She told me the reason she couldn't see me today was because she was working, but it turns out she went shopping with an undisclosed person.What am I supposed to think about that?

OK so yes we've established I'm needy.But is it really so unreasonable to want to see her more than twice a month? I asked her if she'd considered meeting me again, and she said no and that she couldn't see anything in the near future.Generally it seems like she just doesn't want to be with me.Seriously if this one falls through I'm giving up totally. It causes me far too much heartache to go through this EVERY time. I'm a VERY sensitive guy, and girls just seem to enjoy ripping my heart out.I predict a lonely and boring summer.

Well personally it's a good enough reason for me, for my own health's sake.I'm quickly becoming depressed again. It doesn't reflect on me well if I can't make a relationship work. All my friends now look at me as some sort of emotionally disabled person.If things carry on the way they are, I can see me getting back into the state of mind I was over a year ago.Carrying on the way I am seems to be ruining my life at the moment. At least if I give up hope totally then I wont have anything to look forward to and I can gain some sort of emotional stability in my life.It upsets me that she has said some of the things she has said to me and not meant it. Why do they do it?The tears shall be flowing I think.

You see, the problem is that I always end up waiting, which gives me a long time to stew.When the time comes, at first I'm always extremely dubious of the situation, and I might even run away.In fact, considering the past monthm anything that comes my way after this I'm just gonna be scared of. I can't trust girls anymore. It's something thats happened as a result of this is that my trust is all out.By that time, I'm going to be a total sexual recluse as well. Going by how this past one went, I'm gonna be scared to go near a girl, let alone get involved with her in that way.I've had a lot of good things happen to me recently actually, but i can't enjoy them because of this situation.I'm actually quite worried about my mental health.

I started thinking like that for a little while with my ex. *thinks about the near past* talk about heart broken. Since then, a lot of good things has happened though. Just goes to show there is light after the storm.

It scares me how one month with "on and off romance" can make it so that I'm no longer able to take being with girls, and that I should take another massive break.Like I say it had been 1 year before this that I had had any interest in girls, and another year before that since my last (3 day long) relationship (if you can call it that)so it's not as if I haven't been waiting long enough already.And because of this past month I now have to put myself back on the shelf indefinately again.Thinking about it...I really do not enjoy life.

There is plenty reason to enjoy life. It just depends on your perspective. Choose to see the positive and draw out the negative. In time, a girl will come to you. A needy girl, just like you who will want to be with you.

But that's part of the problem. I don't want to be the type of guy that can only go out with needy girls.It limits me, and looks bad on me as well.I'm actually very annoyed and upset at the moment.It's been a horrible week overall.I should be happy because today I found out that I have job security for the next 18 months, and it's something that will get me an amazing career once my uni time is up, but I'm just unmotivated and upset I need a hug

Everyone is limited when it comes to finding the right person. If you don't limit yourself, you're going to turn out unhappy if you stay together.Sound like you've gotten some good news. It's normal to feel unmotivated for a while. You'll feel 10x better after a week of just concentrating on yourself.

I'm of the female species Sad so listen up...free advice from me to you.
I had a boyfriend just like you at one point in time. He called me seven times in one day. That's overkill to me. And though I hate to say it, I was annoyed. VERY annoyed. It's completely normale for anyone to want space to themselves. I don't want to be attached to my b/f all the time. Though I may love him to death, the thing is, I need my OWN space. And he needs his own space. Not just "our" space. Does that make sense?
Yes, you are needy. No, it's not unreasonable to want to see her. But that's according to you. You worry way too much about whether she wants to be with you and instead of enjoying what you have right then you spend all this time second guessing her and yourself thinking she's just using you. In turn it's just setting your relationships up for failure before they even begin. I know you want to fix this so I'm telling you what I see you doing. You let get yourself stepped on EVERY time because you think that you've found the one EVERY time. But instead of letting yourself think that just enjoy the moment. Stop reading into it so much. Just enjoy each other's company. You'll go a lot further than you think that way, than trying to clench her in your fist every time you fear she doesn't really want to be with you. And when you start feeling that way..just tell yourself....if it ends it ends...but for now i'm just going to enjoy the ride. It may end...it may not. Getting hurt is all a part of dating. There's no way around it.

An excellent post Cenfath.

I see what you're saying and I understand, however I think you're blowing things out of proportion.For a start she set me up to be this needy. She started out by sending me around 50 messages a day. She would do it any making moment she could. When she wasn't messaging me she was IMing me.And obviously on the first couple of times we went out she got pretty intense with me.Then on the second nigiht that she tries to have sex with me, it all VERY suddenly changes.The next morning she avoids me. I get no messages during the day and in the evening she ignores me.Going from one extreme to the other like that made me think something is wrong...so bear that in mind first of all.Now that she's told me she wants some space, I only message her once a day - surely that's not needy? Just a little message to wish her luck at work or something.I have no idea when I'm seeing her next, so naturally I panic after how things have been previously.So with that taken into account, do you now see why I am like this?

Hun, do you see where we're coming from? We're trying to tell you, yes she set you up for it. But we're also telling you no when you pretend you didn't play a role in setting yourself up for disaster as well. SHE messaged you, SHE im'd you and SHE got intense with you. Do you see an arising pattern here? SHE did all these things but YOU did nothing to keep yourself from getting too attached, too fast. Why did you not have a talk with her after she did all this and say, "hey, I like you and am looking forward to getting to know you but you're moving a little too fast for me. Let's just take this slow"? You could have prevented yourself from putting yourself through all of this with just a few words. YOU have to head stuff off like that when you start seeing it happen.

Instead of message her once a day don't messge her 'til she messages you. Dating is nothing but a mind game. I wish it weren't like that but the person who wins in the end is the person who plays the game the best.

I'll give you another little bit of advice too: Women (from having observed everyone female I've been in contact with from adolescence to adulthood) are somewhat like men in that they are generally inclined to want what they cannot have. You can use this to your advantage. I'm not saying be a dick (because God knows I love the nice guys) though. Do exactly as I said before, don't message her at all. See what she does. If she can't at least message you once within a few days she was never worth it to begin with. See where I'm getting at babe?

Oh and one more thing. Don't make her b.s. an excuse for your actions. Do what you want without it being a reaction to her. Trust me...just don't do it.

Yeah it's starting to make sense now. You're all right, as usual.

I just didn't want to believe it. I'm just gonna leave her alone and if she doesn't want to take it any further then it's her loss (or gain :frowning:)

Sad - You're doing it again. It's her LOSS period. No if's, and's, or but's about it. It's her loss period.

I've got a "chore" for you to do. Every morning when you get up I want you to look in a mirror and say three nice things about yourself for two weeks. Seriously. Then I want you to come back here and tell me your self esteem doesn't feel somewhat heightened. I'm willing to bet it improves and let me know because I'll have another exercise for you. You can pm me if you'd like because I'd like to know what you tell yourself every morning.