19 months down the line

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I can understand....A few of us have been there in that same spot your in. Feel free to reach out to anyone of us for support and advice.

Thank you :smile:
It's so confusing, I mean, that's not normal behavior between two guys who are "just friends" is it? I know I feel for him, but does he? He was passionate, intimate and was putting in just as much effort a I was last night...then today he was seeing his girlfriend after I left and he was as happy as ever to see her...if he is doubting anything, he's hiding it well.

I'm scared that he just thinks the way we act is normal, which would mean there's nothing there behind what he's doing. But the other side of me knows that he's intelligent and the most amazing person ever and wouldn't string me along...so is there something there? Argh!

he text me saying that he had a great time last night. i need to talk to him so badly, but what would i even say? i still can't believe last night happened.

i didn't mind him falling asleep, because it meant he was enjoying it enough to be relaxed...which i would rather than him reacting badly. but then at least i would know how he felt

sorry i deleted my mobojumbo rambling... but back rubs are very relaxing to me. well .. a good one. a bad one just hurts.

I want to know what happens next too! that was hot. Keep us updated.

Originally Posted By: yoursmileJust when I thought things couldn't get more complicated...all though I guess this is a step forward...I went to my best friend's house yesterday for the night. We were acting exactly as we usually do, doing absolutely nothing and wasting time with computer games and talking...something we like doing because he's often too busy to just relax.Well it got late and we set up the beds to settle down, when he hit me across the head with a pillow. I laughed and hit him back. Then he tackled me to the ground and started tickling me furiously. I had to force myself not to scream and wake the house up. I tickled him back, enjoying it, but becoming more anxious of being in this situation again. This time we were so furious we were getting thrashed around, and at one point I landed on him and I could feel that he was erect (as was I). Some more thrashing and tickling and our night trousers would start to slip down...but he didn't make any effort to pull them back up either, he just let me keep tickling.He got really breathless so I stopped, held him, telling him to calm down because sometime's he can get really worked up. He held me back, his arms wrapped around me (we were both only wearing our night/pj trousers), and his skin felt warm, and there was something about the way he was hugging me...it felt different that usual. He back to tickle me again and ran off into the darkness.Laughing, I found him to his bed, lying face down. He said to me "where's my back massage then?" and laughed, so I sat over his lower back, legs either side of him, and massaged his back slowly. I'm quite good at doing it, and he seemed to enjoy it.It go to the point I was bent down breathing along his neck, and I kissed his neck and kept going as I worked my way down his spine. I felt I had to do something that would make him react if he was uncomfortable. But he didn't! He just sighed pleasantly and I continued. I couldn't believe the intimacy of the whole scenario. In the end he was falling asleep as I massaged him, so I lied alongside him and he held me and said goodnight, and I went to my own bed.I was worried overnight, he'd feel differently, but he seems normal. But then, as usual, he seemed perfectly happy to see his girlfriend, all though he was perhaps pointing out he faults a bit more. But still, I'm confused by it.I know my feeling's lie with him. I still love my girlfriend, but I've been through too much hurt from her lies and her attitude towards me to feel the same as I did. I feel guilty about having my feelings spread across two people, I know I have to do something. This is killing me :'( Well coming from a straight guy with a girlfriend that story was hot! I agree with Roc, i didnt want the story to stop haha! That sounds like a very intimate experience to me and i think you both are into each other.I think you both obviously have some strong feelings for each other, and possibly want to explore it sexually. Maybe he is just as confused as you and you both dont know what to do about your girlfriends? As far as your girlfriend man, you are too young for that shit. Im 18 and ive gone through some lying with my girlfriend and even had a semi break up the other day but she finally came around and told the truth. We worked everything out and everything is good. But it sounds like your girlfriend is just putting you through too much and isnt really comming around and expects way too much from you. Get away while you can, only you know what you truly want. If you want to explore further with your sexuality and your friend then do it. Let her go, and see what happens with him, if nothing happens with him well just think, you answered some questions you needed answered and in the process you got rid of a girl that was probably going to hold you back and not do to much positive for your life anymore, and you will find a nice young women or man that is a better fit for you, and doesnt put you through the un needed bullshit. I wish you luck man and keep us posted on what happens, good luck to you!

Wow... okay yeah that was pretty hot! LoL

Again I still say there are feeling there on both sides, especially if you kissed down his spine and he didn't have any negative reactions. I definitely thing he's just as confused as you are about the whole situation. I really think the best thing you can do it sit down and talk to him. Sounds like he's a very understanding and open individual.

Keep us updated :smile:

I would never have thought I'd be in this situation! I think I'm quite certain I want my current relationship to end, I've been through too much, but I don't know how to go about it. We've been okay for a few weeks, (naturally i'm still upset from previous arguements and stuff), but to just end it know would seem unjustified? I don't think anyone, especially her, would understand why I would be doing it...I just went running for an hour the clear my head. Did it work?...No :P

I know you said it would be unjustified to breakup with your GF, but that is so untrue. You are confused on what you want (and your sexuality), and more so you just don't want to continue in this relationship. Only person that needs justification is yourself. Will your GF like it? Probably not, but in the scheme on things all that matters is yourself and how you feel. Trust me in time she'll get over it and she will move on.Now I am not saying you should breakup with your GF, just trying to give you some advice. The fact you stated you are quite certain you want to break up, speaks volumes. Just remember look out for #1; yourself!!

"but to just end it know would seem unjustified?"There doesn't need to be justification to end anything. You don't feel the same about her as you did. Regardless the reason that is the reality of the situation. That's what it always comes down to, and what you feel is the only reason to end something anyway. Don't be waiting around for a reason, that's just miserable lost time when you may miss out on something better.

my girlfriend and i have broken up. i feel so guilty and so upset, my i know i've done the right thing and that's what's important. it was a horrible break up, she took it so badly, but she promised me she would work this out with me, because we're so close. i said it was fine as long as she didn't try to force anything to work.i feel so guilty. but okay. i guess.first loves hurt.

It's better that it ended now than being drug out for months or years giving her a false sense of your happiness.

thank you.i do agree, of course, i just feel so terrible. it makes it that much harder because i love her. if i'd fallen out of love it would be so much easier.but im not going back on it, i still think ive done the right thing, i just need support from breaking down...:(

Hugs

I find it so hard to explain to myself that I don't want to be with somebody I love. I know I don't want to be with here, and there's been so many problems, but I still love her. My heart feels torn, and I've done it which is worse. It's only been a few hours, but I'm all alone with no one to turn to here and it's difficult.She's all over my bedroom. Her coat is in the corner, there's photographs and drawings on the wall. What hurts is that she has a beautiful smile, and I made it go away. I know a photograph is a moment in time and that's it, but those moments are so hard to let go of.Don't get me wrong, I don't want a future. And I'm still liking my best friend, who I don't think has any intention of doing anything with me. I know that's irrelevant because I was unhappy anyway, but it makes it that much harder.I didn't want, and don't want to continue with her, so I know I've done the right thing. I just can't bear the overwhelming emotions that I'm experiencing, and knowing I'll go to school tomorrow and see her in tears. I've cried the last few hours away, (which my best friend made me promise not to otherwise he'd throw something at me apparently :P) but it's so hard. I don't feel like I can get over her until I have reasoned with myself. We were talking and we can easily stay close friends because it was just her in a relationship that was the problem, everything else that was friend-like were the good moments. When she smiles again I'll be okay. I guess I want to know she'll work her way through this. I wouldn't want her to do anything drastic.19 months and now all of a sudden I'm alone. Tomorrow, with the support around me, I'm hoping it'll make me feel that much more secure, but tonight, is likely to be one of the worst nights I shall ever experience. There are so many memories around me I feel like I'm such an awful person for doing this, and I'm destroying something that should last forever. My mind is rolling and it's over powering my true feelings. Like, I'm regretting it, even though I want to be apart, but it's the regret I feel the most, which makes this so, so difficult.The one person I really need...is him. I need him to wrap his arms around me and tell me he's watching over me and that it'll be okay like he does.And when I get upset I tend to bring in a lot of other emotions too. Like my family moved away almost a year ago now. My aunt, uncle and cousins moved to Australia and I've never gotten over it. They're so happy, but they were my second parents and I'm getting so worked up over that just because when I get upset I think about everything that could possibly upset me.Everything we've been through has gone, but the memories are left everywhere. One day, I'll be happy about this, right now, I'm torn. I wish it could've worked, I do. People say you never stop loving your first love, even if it's just a little fraction. I see perfect truth in that, I'll never leave her behind and I'll never forget about her. I hope she thinks the same so we can move on together.As for my best friend, I'll talk to him, but not straight away because I don't want him to think I broke up with my girlfriend for him, because I haven't. I'm just going to let him live his life without interferring until some of these emotions have past. He'll be there for me tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after. I'm just hoping that someday, I'll know how he feels, and that those feelings are for me.I'm so sorry to rant on like this, and it must seem like I'm so indecisive but I struggle to deal with hurt - I know nobody takes hurt very well but it makes me crumble inside. I usually get very ill and I start to lose more weight and stuff so I'm just worried about the condition I'm in etcI wish I could just smile.

today was much better it was horrible in terms of my ex crying in school and stuff, but everyone was really supportive, and my girlfriend has begun to accept it. badly, but accept it nonetheless. and 2 of my close friends took me out for starbucks, shopping and a good laugh which was great!i did go into the fragrance store and sprayed my best friend's aftershave onto a tester card thing to take home though...because he smells amazing. now i think of it, it makes me seem quite sad ahaha, i was only checking the prices for him lol! ah well.at least im smiling at the end of the day

We're here for ya man and I'm sure you get thru this quickly... Have faith.

i'm doing quite well now, i think that's because i have my best friend to focus on.Does anybody else have any more comments on how my best friend could be feeling? My other girl best friend who I tell everything, knows about what happened between me and my guy, and she was saying that i can't guess how he feels based on the fact he's in a seemingly happy relationship, because he could be having doubts and just hiding them...like i was i guess :P she think's there must be something.

It's dangerous to speculate how someone else might be feeling when you have little evidence, because you can very easily get it quite wrong. It would surely be much better to find out if he wants to talk about it.