Sexual Frustration

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Last night I just reached my one year anniversery with my girlfriend (yay!) but I am having a major problem. I have already lost my virginity in a prior relationship, and with my current girlfriend I am her first kiss. We are both seniors in highschool (17yrs old) and I understand that she is unexperienced and I have had amazing patience. But get this: She hasn't even seen my penis. I have tried so hard to talk to her about this, It's such an impossible situation because I am really in love with her, but I NEED some type of sexual activity. We have done some stuff, but nothing even close to where I think we should be. Am I shallow? I just feel really shitty right now . Any comfort or ideas out there?

make it look like an accident.like when shes in the bathroom, act like u didnt know it and enter the bathroom with ur pants down and dick stickin out

Are you kidding me? Thats the worst idea I've ever heard.

was just trying ( spelling ? ) to help . =)

In reply to: Are you kidding me? Thats the worst idea I've ever heard. LMFAO!!

I don't think you're being selfish. You actually seem really considerate because 1 year is a long time for a relationship in my opinion, I mean long enough that she would have seen your penis already. Maybe she's just scared to go any further. Help her out with it, tell her you really do love her and want to feel her from the inside. Haha, well that might just be weird and kinky...but yea.

Stay strong and stay at the speed she wants to go. She'll come around eventually. It may be sooner than you think.

Haha, who are you trying to kid?

hey websex may be right, she may feel the need and suddenly just go, who knows.

how comfortable is she with you... get her more comfortable, even if it's just talking about it more, or bring her hand slowly to your dick when ya'll are cuddling, (outside of the clothes). That's how i was with my boyfriend... i had to be more comfortable with it outside the clothes first, then we progressed and i was okay with it.

I have done this before. She has touched/rubbed over the clothes just nothing more. Also, I finger her regularly and I know she enjoys that. Currently I am trying to talk more about the subject just its really depressing because I feel hopless... its such a hard situation

ah! I have been in your shoes, my friend. Yes, I tormented myself just after highschool with a girl who was a great friend, and we were close, but never seemed to get to the crucial hot horny young person stage of things.Well, in hindsight, I caused myself some lasting trauma by not realizing: I'm 19, and there are a zillion other hot girls who will have sex with me out there.not to debase your relationship, and not to dis on people who marry at 18 and live happily ever after, but she's probably not going to be your last girlfriend.I am not suggesting you ditch your girlfriend because she won't sleep with you, but see if you can get her talking on the subject and find out why she's not going there with you. Once you can understand why, if she does in fact know herself- is she saving herself? is she afraid? is she not seeing your relationship that way? etc?- you can decide what to do. Not knowing her or you, this is extremely shallow advice, but I'm trying to be honest from at least an economical standpoint: you are in a situation where you probably should be able to have sex with your girl if you both want to, but you're not having any, and there's a good reason why.If I had it to do over again I definitely would not have waited around as long as I did.carpe diem, shyguy.

what does she say when you bring it up?

Boy what a bunch of jerks you all are being. If I were her I wouldn't give it up to you guys either. She only has this to give away once and as a woman you want it to be someone you won't mind remembering the rest of your life. Because you will.And if you are so consumed with your own needs in this area something tells me this isn't the only area. Go jack off and get over yourself.She's either worth the wait or she's not. If you can't think about anything more than that go find someone else. Save her the annoyance of having to think of such an a$$ for the rest of her life. If she is worth the wait, get your act together. And spend more time thinking about her and how she’s feeling than you and how you’re feeling.

I agree with you.

Thank you.

I am new here but would like to say that I agree with this post. It is not bad to wait and it does not mean that you do not mean that much to her. Give her the respect that she is commanding and you will be much happier in the long run. If you do go there it will be when the time is right, if not then neither of you have a negative experience to look back on. If you do not show her due respect, neither of you may forgive and it may very well stick with you for a very long time.

I know how you must feel. To be honest, talking to her is the best way, but you've gotta learn how to play it.I pride myself on my way with words, so what I'd do is say is something like:Hey, we've been together one year now, and well, I'm just worried about our relationship. I mean I really [care about/love] you, and it's just so nice to [finger/pleasure/please you/make you orgasm], but I was wondering if there's anything wrong, I mean it's been a year now, and I'm just scared there's something up that means you're kind of uncomrotable about it going the other way. I mean I know it's your first time and it is really really hard, and you don't know what to expect, but I just kind of thought we were so close it wouldn't matter, but really, if it does, don't worry. I'm just checking you're not worried about anything, because I couldn't bare that.A little bit of guilt tripping maybe. It sounds very bitty and informal, but that's how I speak to my girlfriend.To be honest, I sorta had that problem with my g/f, but she was always apologising for it anyway, and I just took it in my stride and never mentioned it because I'm so totally in love with her and I couldn't ask for any more, and it was my first time anyway.Still, we're 4 months in now (and 2 days) and now we've gone all the way, so it's nothing like you.

keep the communication lines open, i remember how tough that was as a teen. you both have needs and you both have agendas.
This is a time when you start to learn about the difference between your physical and emotional self. The prioreties between them will shift frequently over your life. You need to identify them.

I don't like to be manipulated and I can't think of anyone that does. This is defiantly not the way to go in a healthy relationship. However, if you don't mind being a user of women, you can go with that advice.