First Impressions

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I don't think I give a very good first impression.My best friend told me that when she first met me she thought I was gaoing to be scarry/mean. Which is weird because I am a nice person.My friend today told me that at school she didn't make friends with me because she thought I was scarry and intimidating.The same friend also said that she was talking to another girl today who said she though that I seem abit scarry.I don't really get what I'm doing whrong here, I'm realy not a mean person at all. Maybe it's because I'm not very confident talking to people I don't know? I don't no what to do about this.... any suggestions about how to change the way people see me?

Start becoming aware of how you carry yourself. Do you smile? Do you walk around with a grin or a frown? Do you have good posture? Do you cross your arms often? Do you tense up your shoulders?If you have a content look on your face, your shoulders are relaxed, you walk around with good posture, and you make sure your arms are open then it could make all the difference.

first impressions shouldnt count with anyone worth knowing. if anyone immediately writes you off after meeting you once, they arent worth having around. simple as.

and if people find you scary/intimidating, its probably because you seem really confident, which is good. i know one lady, my sisters dance teacher, whos really intimidating, but you're drawn to her. its an enviable quality to have.

when i meet someone new, i try to be calm and genuine, avoid showing off, but also avoid holding anything back. so it doesnt seem like im trying to impress, im just being me.

That's an excellent attitude to take on meeting someone.

wut africa said would be nice if it was true, but in the real world first impressions are VERY important, and will determine how people treat you.

first impressions are just the first impressions that you have. what i am trying to say is that as we get to know people we get more impressions, and other impressions and thought of that person are modified. so first impressions are part of social life, and without it how are we going to able to meet people without forming impressions and thoughts of people?

Quote:

My best friend told me that when she first met me she thought I was gaoing to be scarry/mean. Which is weird because I am a nice person.

My friend today told me that at school she didn't make friends with me because she thought I was scarry and intimidating.

The same friend also said that she was talking to another girl today who said she though that I seem abit scarry.

I may be wrong about this... but the bold parts seemed to be a problem with approachability.

Thanks everyone for responding, I haven't checked back in as I've been uber busy.I will try to be more concious of how I carry myself but I didn't think I was doing to badly with that. Am I sposta walk around smiling like a loonatic when I'm by myself? Cuz I do smile when I'm with people..It may be aprochability but I don't know what to do about it. I find it difficult to approch other people because admitadly I'm not the most confident person, tho I seem to be getting better.I'm still not quite sure what I can change, I'm still abit gutted that people who don't know me can come to these judgements about me.

I smile all the time. lol. I don't think I look like a loon when I do it. haha.

I donno, if someone smilled pretty much 24 seven I would think that they a) would have very sore cheeks and b)were abit of a nut job.

My boss smiles all the time. You know what I think of him? Well, his pregnant wife says it all :wink:

LQ

You think that he's fertile?

Actually, it requires fewer muscles in your face to smile than to frown. You must be thinking of an incredibly happy smile as opposed to a content smile.

whats that saying "those that care dont matter and those that matter dont care". somethign liek that

Many of my friends have said something simmular to me hon. I'm a shy person by nature, and they say that when we first started our friendships I came off as a snob-ish, persnickity bitch and that they were intimidated by me. It wasn't that I meant to come off that way, I was/am just extremly shy and many times unsure of myself. Once I get to know you, thats when I allow people to see the type of fire ball I can be.I agree with websex, try smiling more, thats what I did and it made me seem more approachable (sometimes). I found that smiling, a small twitch of the lips, occasionally is a great conversation starter. Some people just have to know what it is you're smiling about...

so thats why i didnt get that yacht managing job? i only smoked a bit of pot, and since the only cologne i can afford smells like it anyway i didnt think theyd notice. c'est la vie.

Originally Posted By: Katie Lou I'm a shy person by nature, and they say that when we first started our friendships I came off as a snob-ish, persnickity bitch and that they were intimidated by me. It wasn't that I meant to come off that way, I was/am just extremly shy and many times unsure of myself. Once I get to know you, thats when I allow people to see the type of fire ball I can be. I think it's the same thing, I'm just shy.I really can't bring myself to look anyone I don't know in the eyes or smile or anything. I just can't handle that. I don't know why, I think it's something about being scared what the person will think of me...I don't know. It sucks.I think I should get my ass round to making one of my friends be my confidence coach. Some one to just give me a progressivly bigger challenge every day. Eg. smile at one one you don't know today.....but then I would'nt ask them to do that cuz I'd have to talk about being a social retard and then I'd actually have to do somthing about it and thats scarry...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!I don't want to!!!I also need to get a job but seem to have zero motivation...grrrrr.

lol...just be yourself..maybe you are trying to hard?? sometimes when we try to hard to please, we come out looking fake !First impressions do count however, especially when going for a job interview when the first few minutes are the decisive ones ! After all they don't want you as a friend but an employee, so if they don't like what they see or hear right away they rarely give you a second chance ! On the other hand when meeting someone who we would like to be friends with, thankfully we often get more then once chance to show our good side and to let them get to know us better ! Be confident, smile and most important be yourself !

I don't really have a problem with interviews, I spose it's mostly random people on the street or in my classes or when I go out at night and such that I don't know that freak me out....sigh